Had Channel Ten formed Kris Smith out of clay, they couldn't have found a more perfect contestant for I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!
He's familiar to the readers of gossip mags, largely because he was married to Dannii Minogue. (By my estimate, Woman's Day and New Idea have announced a combined 486 pregnancies between Dannii and Kylie. In fact, Kris and Dannii have one son, Ethan.)
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New arrivals on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me ...
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How will the original celebrities react when model Kris Smith and T'ziporah Malkah, formerly known as Kate Fischer, arrive at camp unannounced. Vision: Network Ten.
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I'm A Celebrity Australia 2017: Cast skydive into jungle
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Series three of Network Ten's I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! has kicked off with some cast members skydiving into the South African jungle from a plane. Vision courtesy Network Ten.
New arrivals on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here!
How will the original celebrities react when model Kris Smith and T'ziporah Malkah, formerly known as Kate Fischer, arrive at camp unannounced. Vision: Network Ten.
He's been in the crosshairs of the Daily Mail, after he missed a couple of gym sessions in 2015. (This resulted in paparazzi photos of him "showing off" his "fuller figure" while trying to sunbathe with his girlfriend.)
He played rugby league in England until injury forced his retirement, then became a model.
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Now he's a department store "ambassador" and his TV resume includes The Daily Edition, Celebrity Come Dine With Me, Football Superstar, a co-hosting stint on Australia's Next Top Model and a spot on Can of Worms.
Wait, Kris who?
If you've never heard of Smith, you're among a legion of Tweeps who posting about "so-called celebrities" in the "wilds" of South Africa.
As I wrote last year, this is exactly what Ten wants. They bait us with a few "I can't quite place them" faces, driving smart-arse Facebook posts, allowing them to flaunt their "social media metrics" to advertisers.
This can only be to Smith's advantage.
Shock jock Steve Price is more famous/notorious. But this could leave him more vulnerable in the viewer voting stages.
Collingwood fans could help Dane Swan through to the final rounds – if Collingwood haters don't knock him out first.
Having a lower profile in itself does not guarantee success on a reality show. If such a contestant swans in with airs and graces, Aussie viewers will swiftly evict them.
If contestants swan in with airs and graces, viewers will swiftly evict them.
But Smith is a thoroughly decent chap; affable and lovely. Of his ex-wife, he says: "She is an incredible woman, always has been. I've always thought that from day one and I still think that now."
Naturally, Channel Ten will think up creative and often ludicrous ways to make him take off his shirt. This will not harm his chances at all.
And just look at the list of previous winners from the UK version of the show. Apart from the year that Margaret Thatcher's daughter won (seriously), all leap-frogged bigger names to claim victory.
Kris Smith?
He could be on our screens for a while yet.
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