Picture this: you're all set to host a bash for family and friends of all ages when your little one comes down with a contagious illness. Do you a) cancel the party, b) let people know about the illness and continue on, or c) keep quiet and party on?
I ask because a few days out from Christmas, my family were guests at a party. Halfway through, we found out the birthday boy had gastro. "But that's okay right, everyone should be fine?" his mum asked as my face turned pale with shock and then horror.
No, we were not fine. My two boys and husband came down with gastro within 24 hours of the party. We almost cancelled our Christmas trip. No words could describe how angry I felt in those few days.
Here was a situation that could have been completely avoided had a message been sent to guests giving them a choice to come or stay away.
"If people come to my house with sick kids I ask them to leave," vows Tash. This mother of four learnt the hard way the consequences of not being told that one of her guests was contagious with a virus.
"A guest once brought a child to our house. She declared that her child had been having diarrhoea for days, but she just didn't want to miss the party. My daughter ended up in the paediatric intensive care unit with rotavirus at the age of nine months. She was on antibiotics for a month. She lost three kilos, which for a baby is just plain scary to see."
For Tash it is now non-negotiable: "Keep sick kids at home and let people know if they are coming to your house."
Clinical psychologist Sally-Anne McCormack points out that viruses are highly contagious and that "the worst thing you can do is be knowingly responsible for spreading them".
"If your child is sick then you need to let people know and give them some options. Otherwise you can start a real domino effect and a whole list of things that you have not considered can happen," she says.
"It is incumbent on parents to say something," says McCormack. "The effect of viruses or illness can have serious repercussions to a child and to the family. Parents must be fully transparent and let people make their own decisions. A simple text message can give someone a choice."
For Kate, that simple text message would have made all the difference. "A friend brought her obviously ill daughter to a party, saying she 'was past the contagious stage'. My daughter, who has a reduced lung capacity due to bone dysplasia and asthma, caught the virus."
Months of illness followed for her daughter. "My daughter was horrendously ill with a severe chest infection for months. It was heartbreaking."
Kate's message to other parents is simple: "Steer clear, sick people! You might recover quickly but others in the party may have compromised immune systems and may end up sicker than you can possibly imagine."
This goes for parks and playgrounds, too. Sick kids can spread illnesses qo quickly - you never know who will end up with that bout of gastro or the latest virus.
Commonsense should always trump any social event, especially when it comes to kids, babies and viruses. A text message, a social media message, anything that gives others parents the choice isn't just important - it needs to be an instinct.
We cannot place all children who are sick in a bubble till they recover, but we can give other parents the choice whether they come or stay away. That's one parenting commandment we should never fail.
Josefa Pete is a writer and mother to two boys. You can follow her on Facebook or read her blog.
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