When my second son was born I accepted pretty quickly that I wasn't going to be able to breastfeed.
After 10 weeks of stress, tears and frustration in trying with my first, I was determined not to go there again if the same problems reared their head the second time around.
Five days of hospital, and seven midwives later, I knew the problem was going to be the same.
The little mite just couldn't latch on and no matter what position I was bent into, what hold I tried or how much I wanted it to happen, it was just not going to be.
Naturally, I was somewhat disappointed and frustrated. But with the power of hindsight, I knew that there was little to be gained by dwelling on what could have or should have been.
Madeleine Morris, the author of Guilt Free Bottle Feeding, points out that there's no reason to feel guilty if you can't or choose not to breastfeed.
"It's totally understandable that mums feel guilty when everything in our culture tells women that 'good mums breastfeed' and 'bad mums bottle-feed'," she says.
"It's seen as the 'natural' and 'normal' thing to do, even though for so many women it isn't."
"But the health and happiness of the child comes down to the parenting, not the method of feeding for their first six months. "
With that in mind, I took on a more positive attitude and approached bottle feeding with a different perspective.
I knew that just because I couldn't breastfeed, it didn't have to impact on the bonding experience with my son. And nor should it take away from just how special this feeding time was.
Here are the things that I did to ensure just that.
Being the primary one to feed him
Being the one to do the majority of the feeding when you have a perfect excuse not to is hard. In the middle of the night when you're feeling like a zombie, it's tempting to hand over the reigns … and the bottle.
But, unlike with my first, this time I committed to doing it as much as I could within those first few months – both night and day.
As I fed I would snuggle my son in and set myself up comfortably. I would relish in our time together and just take in his dear little face, knowing that I was feeding him the best way I could.
Doing skin to skin when I fed him
During feeding I would, more often than not, do skin to skin. While this was initially less appealing in the winter months, a blanket or doona actually helped us feel extra close – kind of like we were cocooned in our own little world.
Just by mimicking what would naturally happen during breastfeeding, I felt I was providing the same experience for him. Plus, I think it got my feel-good hormones flowing.
Spending quality time cuddling and chatting to him while feeding
When the little guy was awake and feeding, I ensured that I wasn't distracted by the TV or, more importantly, by my phone.
As much as was possible – depending on the time of day and the location – I would sit with him in a quiet area and relish our time together, rather than wishing it away.
It's amazing just how much babies respond to the sound of our voices from day one, so singing, talking and looking at him ensured we were creating our own little bond.
Swapping arms
While it may look a little odd, I made a conscious effort to swap arms when my son was half way through his bottle.
Again I was mimicking exactly what would happen if I were breastfeeding, but it was actually also a relief for my arms … particularly as he got heavier.
These are just a few ideas to try. What works for us might not work for you – so get creative and get close to your little one, no matter how you choose to feed.