What do you really need when you have a baby? It seems everywhere you look there is someone telling you about the latest 'must-have' that you or your baby just will not get by without. But are we all getting a bit carried away by clever marketing or trying to keep up with the Joneses?
Below are six 'essentials' that would have baffled our mothers – and that we can actually do without just fine.
Baby photo shoots
Do you really need a photo of your little one dressed as a bumble bee or cradled in a giant tulip? Sure, they're cute, but you could probably print one off the internet and tell everyone it was your baby, and nobody would ever know. Not all babies look the same, but they sure do look similar.
And we have such great cameras on our phones now – why not just snap off a few happy family pics and relax?
Babymoons
I am absolutely on board with any excuse for a holiday, but the babymoon seems to have enjoyed a rapid rise over the past 10 years or so. It is suddenly imperative to go away somewhere romantic before the baby comes along to cherish some precious alone time with your partner. If you have the time and money to go on a holiday, then great – enjoy! But if you're working hard to get ready for the baby, and squirrelling money away for the time you'll be off work, you won't be missing anything.
Over-the-top claims about slings and harnesses
Slings and harnesses allow us to hold our babies close to us while keeping our hands free to do other things, which is lovely. If you're into that, it's great.
But the claims around the benefits of these products are a little bit over the top. Slings and harnesses won't make your baby smarter, more organised, or less likely to grow up to be a criminal (two of those are real claims; one I may have made up).
If you choose to use a pram instead, or put your baby down on a blanket, you won't be robbing your child of their career as an international human rights lawyer. They will be fine.
Vibrating musical bouncers
When I was a baby I gleefully kicked around in one of those crocheted bouncers for hours. It didn't rock, vibrate, play nursery rhymes in seven different languages or toast sandwiches, but it still did the job. I played with my fingers and toes and looked around at the trees.
Sure, those expensive bouncers with all the bells and whistles are great if you can afford them, but if not, you're not missing out on anything. And you can still pick up those crochet numbers for around $20.
Baby massage
I have to be honest, when my babies were tiny I felt like the most enormous failure because I hated doing baby massage. I tried for a few weeks with each of them but I was so exhausted from all the other essential activities – like lactating and washing a thousand tiny growsuits – that I couldn't be bothered. There was still plenty of contact and love, of course, and my babies turned out just fine. Don't let claims about all the benefits guilt you into doing something you don't want to do.
A bedroom out of a magazine
Sure, bunting, wall stickers, fancy night lights and colour coordinated soft furnishings look super pretty, but your baby couldn't give a hoot what the room looks like. You're decorating it for you, and possibly to impress the people that visit your home to see the new baby. That's fine if you have the time, money and inclination, but if you have other priorities, don't feel bad about sticking to the beige curtains that are already in there (although you may want to get a blackout backing put on if you hope to ever sleep past sunrise).
Don't get me wrong – all of these products are great if you can afford them. But if you're like most of us who have to strike a balance and buy what they can comfortably pay for while leaving money for other things like food and rent, you may want to take a step back and reconsider. Our mothers didn't have any of these things and we turned out pretty great, right?
What your baby needs are some nappies, clothes and somewhere to sleep. Everything else is icing on the baby cake.