On Thursday, Australia Day, I was with my 19-month-old son in a playground, trying to entertain him while my husband and friends were preparing our annual Triple J Hottest 100 BBQ lunch. My son, who is half Chinese and half Russian, approached two young boys on the playground. Fascinated by the Australian flag stick-on tattoos on their faces, he attempted a conversation with them in his usual toddler gibberish. The boys stared at my son while he talked, and once he had walked away, one turned to the other and said, "Was that a ching-chong? I think it was a ching-chong."
I am the type of parent who will always call out a child who is clearly being too rough with others, but this was different. This was not a physical injury or risk that had presented itself. This was a passing comment, likely something the child himself did not understand the enormity of. But they were powerful words nonetheless.
My son is still so young but, like most parents, I've tried to teach him how to be a kind and happy boy. I work hard to give him every privilege that a child in this country should have access too.
But he will always look different, and that was so incredibly apparent today.
I was afraid to walk up to that young boy's family, as they looked so happy together and I was all alone. I was afraid I would be laughed at, or that they would become defensive and start a screaming match. But I did it regardless, stuttering through my explanation of what their son had said, making it clear that while I wasn't angry, I thought it was important for him to understand that what he'd said wasn't acceptable.
But what I really wanted to say was, "Your son just threw the very first racial slur that my son has experienced in his short life, and he did it on Australia Day. I will live with that knowledge forever and I think that it is only fair that you do too."
I thought of my sister who is a tenured, much loved primary school teacher. Over the years she has shared with me many - often hilarious - stories of the children she has taught. One little boy in her class oen said, with a straight face, that he was "allergic to Chinese people". When she asked if he knew and understood that she herself was Chinese, he was horrified and genuinely upset - a sentiment his parents shared when she mentioned it to them after school that day. His parents apologised profusely, explaining that they had no idea where the concept had come from, and that it in no way reflected their family values and beliefs.
Stories like this have taught me that children will often say things they may have learnt from TV or from others in the playground without realising the impact their words can have on others. My sister has always given the parents of these children a non-judgmental opportunity to correct this behaviour, as the vast majority of them want to raise their children in a world where discrimination and bullying no longer exists.
The parents of the boy who called my son a "ching-chong" were similarly apologetic. They agreed with my sentiments and stood up immediately to find their son and explain why what he'd said was so inappropriate.
This experience has shown me that every person should have the courage to tell a parent when their child has said something truly awful, all in the hope that they are good people who will do the right thing and have a conversation with their child about acceptance and equality. Doing this is the only way we will be able to continue to build and strengthen the multicultural society in which we all live in today.
Reserve your anger and your outrage where you can - even if it is the first time that discrimination has happened to your child, and even if it is on Australia Day.