Former US Vice-President Dick Cheney, who fearlessly sent countless young men and women to their deaths in Iraq and intrepidly authorized the use of torture, was unaccountably nervous about a little democratic protest outside the Toronto venue where he was due to speak in April.

So he cancelled.

But all is not lost:

Those who had already bought tickets to see him in Toronto, at prices ranging from $79 to $595, will be eligible for refunds. Or they can go listen to Cheney’s replacements, the vociferous free speech advocate Mark Steyn and the Sun News Network’s Michael Coren.

A bit like taking a pig’s ear and manufacturing, well, a smaller pig’s ear. But no doubt the event will be duly celebrated and attended by all those who attended Ezra Levant’s Freedom Weekend in the Muskokas. Oh, snap!