Genes and curiosity. I inherited music, drawing and manic depression from my father. He wasn't artistic and only made one oil painting of a sunset. I have always liked strong feelings that are hard to explain, moods and the power of melodies. At daycare I drew a crying homeless man. Later I started watching horror movies and drawing reproductions of movie posters. It was the first time I imagined all kinds of moods, moments and images. I was also inspired by soundtracks, classical and folk music. Most of my first album was written around 2002 and it was finished in 2012.
My manic depression started in 2010 when I was 25. I don't have bad symptoms anymore and that's why I'm able to work, but the illness gave me a new perspective. I started listening to my subconscious and listing my favourite artists (symbolism, expressionism and surrealism). I composed "Whisper Faith" in December 2013 and the artwork, done in 2014, was my first wax drawing. The roughness of German expressionism made me buy wax crayons, but I don't care where these drawings belong specifically.
Where do you get your ideas?
I do these things for complex emotional reasons. My ideas are unconscious and emotional. My notebook is filled with small drawings, words and phrases. I also experiment with a camera. You can never predict what all these little seeds will produce. Dreams can also provide seeds, but usually an image or a word appears in my mind when I'm awake or waking up soon after I've fallen asleep. I'm visiting some other area in my brain. This area makes some kind of connections between things. One thought leads to another. Sometimes it happens when I'm going through random things. It's an interesting combination of "I need to tell you this" and "what did you mean by that". I can play with ideas and shapes without apologising. No one is keeping an eye on you. It's an exciting challenge. The subconscious and natural forces inspire me. I can't tell them what to do.
Why do you love art?
Falling in love with works of art is one of the best things I can think of. It's a reason to live. It's not a strange thing to do. I ask myself "does it feel interesting". You always have to ask yourself. Stop and get close. That's how you can fall in love. I don't have to ask "am I understanding it correctly" or "what sort of person does this or that". Artistic ideas are always part of my happiness. Edgar Allan Poe and Monty Python contribute equally to my happiness. I've also seen a lot of darkness, but I can never know darkness from beginning to end. It's not just what you think it is. I want to be surprised.
