This is content for Fostering Connections
If someone had told me two years ago that I would have cared for over 30 children while working and raising a daughter on my own, I wouldn’t have believed them, but that has been my life since becoming a foster carer.
As a single mum with a young child, taking the leap to foster care was a bit of an unknown. I grew up in a household where my mum had cared for other people’s children and I wanted my own daughter to experience the lessons that I learned through my mother’s generosity of spirit. I wanted to teach her compassion.
A lot has happened in the last two years. Apart from caring for over 30 children, I was recently nominated for a Robin Clark Award for my work as a carer. It was a real thrill.
Despite being busy, I still manage to work part time and study. Last year I graduated as a Counsellor and have recently enrolled in a Social Science degree. My original goal was to qualify as a counselling psychologist but my plans have changed because I’ve had such a life-changing experience through fostering.
When I became accredited as a foster carer, my agency provided me with a case worker to offer support. The experience has been so positive that I’m now hoping to work as a case worker as well. I think the positive impact of our case worker has been even greater than my impact on the kids.
I am currently caring for twin boys and while we love having them as part of our family, we are working towards getting the boys home. For me, the most rewarding part of fostering is when the kids go home and are successfully reunited with their family. It’s hard to say good bye, but it’s good to know you have made a difference and can help a family get back on their feet.
The first child that arrived at my door came for a five week stay while her long term carer was away. It was a wonderful experience for us and helped me understand what was involved. Pretty quickly I asked to follow this up by providing some emergency care. After this I felt ready to provide short term care, which is classified as six months or less. The process helped to ease me into the longer term options. I felt ready to make a longer commitment, but you have to make sure it suits you and your family.
Foster care does come with its challenges and I’ve learned a lot about myself. In one instance I cared for a little girl that couldn’t speak English, but we worked through it together. It was so satisfying to find a way to communicate with her and make a connection. Sometimes I think the biggest challenges have the biggest rewards.
Seeing the wonderful influence the twins have on my daughter adds to the satisfaction that comes with fostering. I enrolled the twins in karate and, pretty quickly, my daughter became interested in learning too. Next month she will compete in the Victorian Championships. The boys’ presence in her life has been remarkable, developing her confidence in ways she would not have experienced as an only child.
One of the biggest surprises about fostering for me was how many carers are needed. You don’t realise how many kids need care until you become a carer yourself. I was also surprised how much I had misunderstood the circumstances of these children. I always thought that kids needing foster care would have a range of issues, or have been mistreated, but over time I discovered that abuse is not always the problem. There are all kinds of reasons why a child can’t stay at home, like illness or family breakdown.
I’ve learned a lot in my two years of caring but I remember how I felt when I started. If I could offer advice to anyone thinking about becoming a foster carer I would say make sure you do all the training you are offered, even if you are still undecided. The training offers a child’s perspective on foster care and helps you understand how the system works. But most importantly, it’s about the commitment you are making to a child in your care and what it means for them.
I plan to keep fostering children and I might be ready to take on another child. It’s always a bit of a juggle with work, study and three kids, but I don’t let that stop me from doing all I can to make a difference.
Growing up, I saw how my mum made such a difference and now it’s my turn to do the same. I want to show my daughter and all the kids that come in to my care that it just takes one person to make a difference. If you become a foster carer, it can really help change someone’s life for the better.
Foster care plays an essential part of Victoria’s welfare system and provides a safe place for children and young people when they are unable to be cared for by their family.
To learn more about becoming a foster carer, contact Fostering Connections on 1800 013 088 or visit fosteringconnections.com.au