- published: 25 Jan 2012
- views: 4259
John Felix Anthony Cena (/ˈsiːnə/; born April 23, 1977) is an American professional wrestler and actor. He is currently signed to WWE as a member of its Raw brand.
In WWE, Cena has won 19 championships in total, including 12 world titles (having won the WWE Championship a record 10 times and the World Heavyweight Championship twice). In addition, Cena has also won the WWE United States Championship three times, and is a four-time Tag Team Champion, having held the World Tag Team Championship twice (once each with Shawn Michaels and Batista), and the WWE Tag Team Championship twice (once each with David Otunga and The Miz). Cena also won the 2008 Royal Rumble match, and is a two-time Superstar of the Year Slammy Award winner (2009 and 2010). He also has the fourth highest number of combined days as WWE Champion behind Bob Backlund, Hulk Hogan and Bruno Sammartino.
Cena started his professional wrestling career in 2000, wrestling for Ultimate Pro Wrestling, where he held the UPW Heavyweight Championship. In 2001, Cena signed a contract with the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) and was sent to Ohio Valley Wrestling (OVW) where he held the OVW Heavyweight Championship and the OVW Southern Tag Team Championship (with Rico Constantino).
Jon Stewart (born Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz; November 28, 1962) is an American political satirist, writer, television host, actor, media critic and stand-up comedian. He is widely known as host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central.
Stewart started as a stand-up comedian, but branched into television as host of Short Attention Span Theater for Comedy Central. He went on to host his own show on MTV, called The Jon Stewart Show, and then hosted another show on MTV called You Wrote It, You Watch It. He has also had several film roles as an actor. Stewart became the host of The Daily Show on Comedy Central in early 1999. He is also a writer and co-executive-producer of the show. After Stewart joined, The Daily Show steadily gained popularity and critical acclaim, resulting in his sixteen Emmy Awards.
Stewart has gained acclaim as an acerbic, satirical critic of personality-driven media shows, in particular those of the US media networks such as CNN, Fox News Channel, and MSNBC. Critics say Stewart benefits from a double standard: he critiques other news shows from the safe, removed position of his "fake news" desk. Stewart agrees, saying that neither his show nor his channel purports to be anything other than satire and comedy. In spite of its self-professed entertainment mandate, The Daily Show has been nominated for news and journalism awards. Stewart hosted the 78th and 80th Academy Awards. He is the co-author of America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction, which was one of the best-selling books in the U.S. in 2004 and Earth (The Book): A Visitor's Guide to the Human Race released in 2010.
Još pre nekoliko dana bio sam baraba,
sad zasnovao odnos kao medicinska baba,
kontrolisao proces inkubacije,
a i radio na ispomoći kad su vakcinacije.
Devojku moju viđao na smene,
i nije htela znati da su oko mene žene,
napustila me jer misli da je varam,
misli medicinske sestre po smenama da karam.
Ustvari bio na putu nije da nije,
ejakulacijom iz vernosti sam prao sanitarije,
potom počeo u prolazu da diram,
jer nisam hteo više da apstiniram.
Kad čujem ispod uniformi bedra da se taru,
kad u liftu mi u gužvi guzom pomiluju karu,
kada pale, a ne daju,
kada vuku me za nos,
popizdim,
i poželim da te vidim.
U dežurno kada odem odeljenje
ne mogu da svladam iskušenje,
stoga s' vremena na vreme menja me kolega,
on na moje odeljenje, meni intenzivna nega.
Uđem u bilo koju sobu i odaberem mlađu žensku osobu,
jebeš aparate bez imalo zenta,
na intenzivnoj nezi karam pacijenta.
Utikače, blizu kojih struje,
kad su aparati glasno počeli da bruje,
tek tada ona meni tuki čevu,
izgleda pali se, jebo sam joj kevu.
Udarala jako k'o da nije čista,
tako jako, ista mazohista,
a srce joj prestalo da kuca,
pomislih al' sam je ubio od ah, a, a, a...
You know what I am talking about bitch,
so just shut the fuck up and listen this...
Na bolovanje idem i pretplaćenu kuru,
poslala me šefica na akupunkturu,
zbog utisaka nameštao sam šulju
i zamišljao sestara buljuk.
Kada prozvala me ja, pokucah na vrata
sa strahom mi se ne buše muda il' prostata,
dok me upisivala u kartoteku
gledam grudi kako gube nade mom leku.
Iza paravana potom me vodi,
vezuje u stolicu i skida se u bodi,
pita što sam ovde dok me loži njen stil,
loži me do bola ženski sexipil,
usr'o se kad mi izvukla salamu,
'nako vezan zino kada sela mi na damu,
vidim prija joj jer nabada figuru,
kao da mi kita igla za akupunkturu.
Neko gleda me k'o avet, neko gleda me k’o boga,
neafirmisan i znam da sam meta neurologa,
uskratili životinje, uskratili mi žene
pa sam počeo da čitam knjige pokvarene.
Tako bi ih tada bio vrlo često,
čitao sam, javljala se bolest,
dok čitao sam sve dalje i dalje,
otkrio na koje se popalio detalje.
Ženskog roda ne, imenice zamenice,
pale ona ili one komšinice, prepelice,
doktori kažu samo fizički bol,
spustiće mi miša podno kaiša.
Uzaludno oni se ponadali,
ali posle svi od reda oni su popadali
jer mišić što je dominirao,
ni posle bola nije atrofirao...
Bababa baba bam...
What the fuck is going on man?
Jabadaba du ja, daba du ja
jabadaba du ja...
E.ja.kuliram!
Jabadaba du ja, daba du ja
jabadaba du ja...
I kao što biva, svemu dođe kraj,
a kako je bilo bolje ne pitaj
pošto nikad se nisam mog'o da iživim,
jedva sam čekao njih da divim.
U oglasu stoje dve neviđene rave,
po kvantitetu sekret im je pritoka Save,
rasno meso, tamna put,
ja sam zapet podno lona krut.
Tog nema što im je odoleo
i svako posle njih je oboleo.
Zar se pit’o nisi što smo tako skupe?
Mene nije briga samo dajte kalupe!
Al’ ubrzo shvatih stvari,
da ih krase kruti palamari!!!
I mišić što je dominirao