Dear Jess: What should I do about the empty-handed Christmas guest?
Q. I pride myself on my political correctness and, as a married heterosexual woman, referring to my husband as "my husband" seems rather exclusive. But calling him my partner sounds too businesslike. I've tried "the father of my children" but that sounds like we're separated. Please help!
A. Dearest Ms Thoughtful, what a caring, sensitive soul you are – I would welcome you to co-chair the PC Club alongside me next Sunday as I understand how fraught it can be to ensure everyone feels included in social situations.
Jessica Rowe answers your questions.Credit:Damian Bennett
As for your partner, he is your husband, and the father of your children, so either of these terms is just peachy. What does he like to be called? Could I suggest you go with his preference? However, if he doesn't have one, what about experimenting with calling him "my lover" next time introductions are necessary. Such a title could liven up a tedious barbecue or school quiz night. And isn't it absurd that in our modern world the terms "husband" and "wife" can only "legally" be used in straight marriage. I love your kind heart.
Q. We always have a big family Christmas at my place and everyone goes to a lot of trouble to bring a plate. Except one of my sisters-in-law, who arrives empty-handed or with a thrown-together offering. I know she hates cooking but surely she can try. Should I tell her what to bring this year?
A. Hello Hostess With The Most-est, Christmas can be a fraught time for family. May I suggest taking the pressure off your sister-in-law this year by telling her to bring the Christmas crackers? Not biscuits but the ones with the party hats and bad jokes.
She couldn't possibly stuff that up! Like her, I'm also domestically challenged, and the seemingly throwaway line of "just bring a plate" is stressful when you feel like you're competing with the hatted chefs in the rest of the family! Perhaps in the past she has deliberately forgotten to bring anything because her previous attempts have been looked at with disdain. Remember, Heavenly Hostess, that this is the season for giving, and that includes giving your sister-in-law a break from expectations.
These answers are simply my views, and I am far from perfect. I struggle through some days better than others with the help of my family, cats, chocolate and antidepressants.
Contact me via Jessica.Rowe@fairfaxmedia.com.au. Instagram: @jessjrowe Twitter:@JessRowe
Unfortunately, I cannot personally reply to questions.
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