Dear Jess: The perils of being a wallflower during the festive season
Your most intimate questions answered by Jessica Rowe.
Q. I'm very shy and I find this time of the year especially tricky as there is extra pressure to be social and catch up with lots of people. I've run out of excuses for not turning up to parties – there are only so many times I can say that my aunt is unwell! Please help.
A. Wonderful Wallflower, I understand your pain. I would much rather stay at home, eat rocky road and binge-watch an entire series of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills than go out to a party. Perhaps one way of not becoming a total recluse is to pick just one or two parties to go to over this silly season.
Jessica Rowe answers your questions.Credit:Damian Bennett
Choose them based on your comfort level with the guest list and the length of time you could stay before politely leaving the gathering. Organise to arrive with another guest, so you have a wing-woman, and have some general questions ready to go. For instance, "Are you going away for the holidays?" "What do you do when you're not out at parties?" "Are you a cat or a dog person?" Most people love talking about themselves, so you can get away with just nodding your head.
Also, be careful regarding how much alcohol you drink. I tend to guzzle my champers if I'm nervous, so I make sure I have a big sparkly soft drink to hold. (It also gives me something to do with my hands!) Lastly, wear some glittery eye shadow – that always gives me a boost.
Q. My friend has borrowed some money from me, three months have passed and she still hasn't paid me back. It's not a huge amount but she knows I'm on a budget and I'm annoyed that she hasn't mentioned it again. I want to ask her for the money but I don't want to sound petty.
A. Gorgeous Giving Girlfriend, what a good pal you are! Lending and borrowing money is fraught with danger. Whatever the amount, it's rude of your friend not to mention the loan again. It's time to ask her to pay you back. Explain that you're budgeting and need to plan for the year ahead.
Since you're a generous soul, let's believe she has simply forgotten and that a gentle reminder will do the trick.
These answers are simply my views, and I am far from perfect. I struggle through some days better than others with the help of my family, cats, chocolate and antidepressants. Unfortunately, I cannot personally reply to questions.
Contact me via Jessica.Rowe@fairfaxmedia.com.au. Instagram: @jessjrowe Twitter: @JessRowe
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