This was published 7 years ago
Dear Jess: How do I handle being sprung for my re-gifting habits
By Jess Rowe
Q. I have been married (happily) for 10 years but our sex life seems to have become very spasmodic. I confided this to a friend and now every time we're together she keeps making references to my marriage not being okay. I have told her this is not true but she keeps on doing it.
A. Dear Happily Married, congratulations on 10 years with your other half. I do hope you realise that spasmodic sex is common, especially in a long relationship. We tie ourselves in knots about all the sex other people are having! I'm deeply suspicious of people who brag about having sex every day, despite being together for years.
Jessica Rowe.Credit: Damian Bennett
If you're anything like me, your sex drive ebbs and flows depending on what's happening in your life. And sometimes you're just not in the mood. A dear friend of mine tells me the closest she gets to an orgasm these days is having a good sneeze. Is there a teeny part of you that would like to have more than a sneeze and rediscover the toe-curling sex that often dominates the early months of a relationship? Have you simply got out of the habit? Sometimes a quickie can get you back into the groove. Also, I can highly recommend a vibrator! As for this so-called friend of yours, friends are people who make you feel better about yourself, not worse. Time to tell her to buzz off!
Q. Last Christmas I re-gifted a couple of presents and unfortunately one of the gifts was recognised by the giver. She has hardly spoken to me all year. I'm sure we'll meet again this Christmas. Should I say something to her?
A. Thrifty Shopper, you have been sprung! I think it's fine to re-gift in the madness and mayhem of Chrissie, and I'm a big believer in trying to find the bright side to deal with hurt feelings. Perhaps the best way to deal with seeing this woman again is to buy a box of those branded "Favourite" chocolates and, when you give them to her, accompany it with a big hug. Explain that since her previous present to you had been a favourite, you couldn't just keep it for yourself! Hopefully you can laugh about it together.
These answers are simply my views, and I am far from perfect. I struggle through some days better than others with the help of my family, cats, chocolate and antidepressants.
Contact me via Jessica.Rowe@fairfaxmedia.com.au. Instagram: @jessjrowe Twitter:@JessRowe
Unfortunately, I cannot personally reply to questions