Told yers! I refer to the comments by the famous rugby league coach Chris Anderson this week. Tell 'em what you said Chris: "Our biggest danger is rugby union … It's a big world sport. It's taken over Europe. Rugby league has died in Europe. All good players now go to union; in England, in France. So it's a big game. It's growing in America. That's our danger. If we don't get our house in order, our danger is we'll be playing rugby union in 10 years."
Ah yes, sneer and jeer, see if I care. TFF has been saying exactly the same for the past 10 years. Of course Australian rugby is going through very grim times at the moment, and that is a worry. But the point is, that it is only in Australia that is happening, whereas it is exploding in popularity everywhere else – and the ARU's coffers continue to fill because of it, in international broadcast monies, however slowly the turnstiles might be clicking at home.
And Anderson is also correct, in his next comments.
"If we don't change … rugby league will die."
A pause, please, for the sneering and jeering to be cut to a dull roar once more. Go on, Chris.
"AFL are genius in grassroots development. They throw a lot of money at grassroots. If we don't do that, they'll hurt us."
Right in every particular. The key for Australian rugby going forward will be to do both, to play the long game, to put more of the international money that neither the NRL or AFL can get close to, and devote ever more to development of grassroots rugby. Then we will see how all the codes are travelling 10 years from now!
Lost in translation
A great moment!
Melbourne City have just beaten Sydney FC for their breakthrough win in the FFA Cup, whatever that is – oh, STOP it! – and the cameras come in tight on Melbourne City captain Bruno Fornaroli, as, atop the victory podium, the Uruguayan makes his victory speech in faltering English. Ah, but you know what?
The hell with it! Throwing his cue cards in the air, he finishes with "And f--- off!"
Che?
"I went to say 'vamos', nothing more," he explained afterwards. "When you win the first cup for the club it was amazing so it was a great moment and I went to say 'vamos'. But I said something different I think. If someone feels bad for [me saying] this then I'm sorry but it was not what I wanted to say. In this moment it was difficult to speak because I still have the game inside and I'm crazy for the moment."
Listen Bruno, it happens!
You will probably get the yarn below. If not, get someone to help with the translation…
Choice of words
In honour of the speech made by Fornaroli, you'll excuse my recounting of this Oldie but Goldie.
Two men in Detroit, see, are sharing a morose after-work drink in a downtown bar.
"I feel like such an idiot," the first bloke says. "I went to the railways station this morning and the beautiful young woman behind the counter was so comely that instead of saying, 'Two tickets to Pittsburgh, please,' I ended up saying, 'Two pickets to Tittsburgh, please'. Honestly, I could have just died."
"You think that's bad?" the other bloke replies. "I was having breakfast with my wife this morning and instead of saying, 'Please pass the butter,' as I intended to, I ended up saying, 'You stupid nark, you've been an albatross around my neck for 25 years and I can't stand it anymore. I want a divorce!' Honestly, I could have just died!"
Classy gesture
The most moving story of the week, not surprisingly, comes in the wake of the crash of the plane bearing Brazil's Chapecoense soccer team, as they winged their way towards the final of the Copa Sudamericana soccer tournament, against Atlético Nacional, Colombia's team. No fewer than 71 people on the flight were killed, and just three team members were left alive. In the face of the catastrophe, Atlético Nacional rose to the occasion
"Atlético Nacional calls on CONMEBOL to award the title of the Copa Sudamericana to Chapecoense for its huge loss, and in posthumous homage to the victims killed in the accident."
All class.
Rising star shines
Wow, Clara Iemma. The 18-year-old daughter of Morris Iemma, finished the National Under 18 women's tournament as Player of the Tournament, Player of the Final, leading run scorer and equal second highest wicket taker. She nailed 288 runs at 57.0 with top score of 105, 13 wickets at 8.46, and was also the best bowler in the final, taking 4-25. Bravissima, young woman. Be great to see you in Australian colours in the near future. Many are proud, but I suspect no-one more than your father. Don't ask me how I know, I just do!
(Our former Premier claims no credit for her extraordinarily skill, saying it was more a matter of her playing so many "Tests" in the family backyard with her three brothers. "My major contributions," he says, "was arbitrating the disputes!")
Choppy encounter
Legendary yachtsman and tough-as-teak businessman Syd Fischer is notorious for his fierce competitive instincts, penny-pinching, bare-knuckle ways and for hanging on to all his old boats. A new book about Fischer's life by former Media Watch boss David Salter, Ragamuffin Man, demonstrates that Fischer is, yes, pretty much exactly like that!
A couple of years back, Syd sliced the deck off his super-maxi yacht Ragamuffin 100 to put on a new boat. The discarded, decapitated hull lay out in the weather at his boatyard. It was worth nothing to him, but rival skipper Sean Langman thought he might be able to use that shell as the basis for his own maxi-yacht project. Langman and Fischer don't get on, so through an intermediary he made an offer to Syd of $50,000 for the old shell of Ragamuffin. The response was pure Fischer: "Tell him I'd rather chop it into pieces and shove them up his arse!"
Yup, that's Syd.
What they said
Tiger Woods, as he makes his umpteenth comeback: "The golf ball is the most important club in the bag." Where are you, Yogi Berra? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
Tim Cahill on scoring the winning goal in the FFA Cup: "It's the story of my life. That's why I play, for moments like that. My job is to be in the box and if I score great . . . It was beautiful, nice the way it hit my head and went in." It seriously is amazing, isn't it, how often he is Johnny-on-the-spot, right there on the money, and nails it? And has done so for YEARS!
Boris Becker, coach of Novak Djokovic says Novak's end of year malaise is due to the malaise of Nadal and Federer: "He didn't have any opponents anymore. His time was with Nadal, with Federer. Andy [Murray] was always the fourth guy. So he lost a little bit of his opponents."
South African women's cricket captain Dane van Niekerk after a tie against Australia: "Like kissing your brother."
England coach Eddie Jones stoking the flames: "We are looking forward to the game next weekend. The best win is to come – Australia will be the best win. All we want to do is beat Australia next week, that's all we want to do. And then beat them next year and the year after that."
Jones again: "It's going to be a bit of fun because the Australian media last June was very disrespectful to us. I'm sure they are going to be at it again, so we've got to be prepared for that. I'm also very keen to have a chat to the referee about the Australian scrummaging. They have got some issues with the way that they scrum so we need to have a meeting with the referee." He DOES go on, doesn't he?
Michael Clarke, tells Kate Waterhouse, the most important life lesson he has learnt: "Try to enjoy every day, because life can be short. Stop and smell the roses along the way."
UK darts commentator Eric Bristow tweets on child abuse in British football: "Might be a looney but if some football coach was touching me when i was a kid as i got older i would have went back and sorted that poof out . . . Dart players tough guys footballers wimps. Bet the rugby boys are ok ha ha … U got to sought him out when u get older or dont look in the mirror glad i am a dart player proper men." His contract as a TV commentator was torn up.
Former England fast-bower, the Australian-born Alan Mulally: "Glenn McGrath was getting stuck into me with his mouth once. And I said, 'I'm not interested in your gobshite. If you want to have a full go, I'll meet you round the back after the game.' He got fined three and a half grand and he bought me a beer afterwards, and he goes, 'Al, that beer just cost me three and a half grand.' And we laughed about it."
Mulally again: "I had an eye test and my vision came back perfect. I told the doctor, 'It can't be perfect. Have you seen me bat?' And he said, 'Have you ever thought that you're just rubbish at batting?'"
Darren Lehmann on cricket in the 21st century or a new type of snooker? "Can't do anything about it. It's red ball, pink ball, white ball, pink ball then red ball. It's just the way it is. Can't complain about it. Just get on with it."
Team of the week
Wallabies. Grand Slam hopes dashed by Ireland but have chance to seek revenge over England on Sunday morning.
Eddie Jones. If he's not the coach of the year in 2016, the person who wins it has had an incredible year.
Socceroos. Matched with Germany, Chile and the winner of the African Cup of Nations at next year's Confederation Cup.
Australian Men's cricket team. First Test match victory since February. And it was a beauty!
Nico Rosberg. Formula One Champion while our own Daniel Ricciardo finished third.
Warren Ryan. The premiership-winning rugby league coach is to be charged after he allegedly assaulted another man in an argument over Donald Trump at a pub in Sydney's east. Not yet revealed, is whether he was allegedly for or against Trump. I'll bet he was on Trump's side.
Argentina. Won their first ever Davis Cup and without a single home tie!
Twitter: @Peter_Fitz
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