Persuasion

Matt Sinclair has weighed into the debate around the Tories.

Parties are coalitions of people with broadly similar approaches to politics. The actual challenge for someone with a view outside the political mainstream (the position we share on climate change is another example) is, in the end, to find the party whose approach to politics is most compatible with their own and then try to convince them of the merits of their position.

Correct. I have found a party whose approach to politics is most compatible with my own as a minarchist libertarian, and that party happens to be UKIP.

Once that party is convinced it can attempt to seek a parliamentary majority on that basis. If you do not like the leadership's position on the European Union then convince the membership and, at the next leadership election, you can get the kind of leaders you want.

Yup, which is what I am doing. Where I disagree with UKIP, I can communicate with the leadership and the research groups directly and try to convince them that I am right. On a number of occasions, I have done so: it's one of the advantages of being in a small party.

As such, the only reason to leave the Conservative party is if you think its members aren't those who will be easiest to convince of your position (they're easily the most Eurosceptic portion of the population so that seems unlikely) or if you think your cause is hopeless but would rather be screaming at the wind than be dirtied by the compromise of contact with the Conservatives. If you can't convince the Conservative membership you're never going to be able to convince the public at large and the problem is in the case rather than the party.

And blah...

Every time a Eurosceptic leaves the Tories and joins the UKIP they remove themselves from the debate within the Conservative party. They replace their voice and vote with a threat...

The vast majority of UKIP's members are older people, a vast number of whole have been Conservative members or voters for most of their lives. That they have left to join UKIP would suggest to me that these people have realised that a party as large (and well-funded) as the Tories does not have to listen to its members and, indeed, that these people have become sick of shouting themselves hoarse and getting nowhere.

And no wonder: you've all read the media. On the road-pricing issue (very emotive) how many newspapers have mentioned the EU's involvement?

In the great ID Card and NIR debate, how many people in the mainstream media have mentioned the EU's involvement?

What is the point in trying to make yourself heard when both the mainstream media and political classes refuse to talk about the root problem, eh?

...to hurt Conservative election prospects...

Oh, get over yourself, for fuck's sake! Do you really think that people who vote UKIP do so to hurt the Conservatives? Don't be such a solipsistic prick, seriously. You'll be telling me that everyone who votes Labour or Lib Dem are just doing so to spite the Conservatives next: it's pa-the-tic.

People vote for UKIP because they want UKIP to win, you daft bastard.

... but there is no evidence that this is a threat which the party responds to in the way UKIP would like.

Well, boo-fucking-hoo! In that case, the membership of the main parties will continue to fall and membership of UKIP (and others) will continue to rise. And the number of people who do not vote at all (currently about 40% of the eligible population, I believe) will continue to rise.

Instead it creates a defensiveness that may be what came across to DK, in Oliver Letwin's speech, as arrogance.

No, what Letwin came across with was arrogance; if his reasons for remaining within the EU are so fucking brilliant, then we did he not lay some of them out? He answered all the other questions are tediously inordinate length, for crying out loud.

The trouble is with Matt is that he acts as though the EU is the only area in which I differ from the Tories and that this assumption is wrong should, by now, be very fucking clear. I said that the Tories' attitude to the EU was a sticking point: however, given that they have shown no sign of even offering a referendum, there are, as it happens, a whole bunch of other policies on which I disagree with them too.

Besides, since the Tories' rhetoric has never matched their actions in regard to the EU—"we're EUsceptic!" they cry, whilst prancing around with a multi-fucking-million quid fountain pen with which they have signed away yet more of our sodding sovereignty (e.g. Maastricht)—I would have to see Cameron sign the agreement in his own childrens' blood before I really believed that they were even actually going to hold a referendum, the cunts.


Were the EU the only area in which I differed from Conservative policy, well, maybe I'd try Matt's approach, but it isn't. Here are a few areas in which I disagree with the Tories (as far as we know what their policies are) and agree with UKIP.

1. We should leave the EU,


2. The idea that humanity's activities are having any significant effect on climate change is crap,


3. Although climate change is happening, the best way to adapt is not to make everyone poorer through taxation,


4. The taxpayer should not fund political parties,


5. Schools should be privatised and funded through a voucher scheme,


6. We should have a Flat Tax system,


7. We should acknowledge that NI is simply another income tax and incorporate it into a Flat Income Tax,


8. The Personal Tax Allowance should be raised far above its current rate,


9. We should have a smaller government,


10. Corporation Tax should be substantially lower,


11. Capital Gains Tax should be abolished,


12. Inheritance Tax should be abolished,


13. Prison works and we should build more of them,


14. What I do in my time is my own and the government should not be allowed to dictate what I do with it (Working time Directive, for instance),


15. And a few things that are conditional on point 1, because we no longer control these areas:


• We should trade freely with the rest of the world,


• We should control who comes into our country (if only to stop convicted criminals),


• We should replace VAT with a local sales tax.

And that's off the top of my head and not thinking about it particularly hard.

Now, I have decided (at this stage in my young life) that it is far easier to work to make electable a small party the majority of whose policies I agree with (and, occasionally, help shape), rather than to attempt to swing a large party (which seems to believe that it has a god-given right to govern) to my thinking on all of these fucking points.

Now, I don't understand: why is this such a hard concept to grasp for some people?

I know it's fairly old, but browsing through The Last Ditch, I came across this little gem.

Now I don't have DK's knack for le mot sauvage, but when someone says he's a Green and wants to "save the planet", that translates to me as:

"I am a puritanical killjoy with no concept of the scientific method and a burning desire to decimate my fellow-men so that the ugliest remnants of humanity can live the short, miserable, disease-ridden, brutal lives of medieval peasants in a spirit of smug self-satisfaction born of the sense that we have condemned billions of tediously aspirational humans to poverty or death"

Excellent!

Voting Tory

The Dude has fisked The Nameless One's attack on the Tories. Since it pretty much sums up my current position, here's the text of a comment that I left at The Dude's place.

You are right to an extent, Dude; indeed, to a large degree. My issue is that, having found a party that panders to my EUsceptic minarchist wankfest, I would now find it very difficult to vote for a party that does not advocate that, whatever their chances.

Many people, including you and Iain Dale, have asked if I would consider returning to the Tory fold; the answer is "yes", but the EU is a fundamental sticking point for me, and you saw Letwin's response to that. If he thinks that the EU is so great, I want him to try to convince me: not take the superior "I know better than you" attitude. Further, I don't think that the EU is reformable.

In any case, I refuse to be lectured at, patronised and essentially told that I'm ignorant by a smug bastard who mentions the Stern Report in approving terms.

So, given that, I have to vote UKIP, if only to persuade the Tories that there is a strong anti-EU base in this country and that it might be nice if even one of the mainstream parties offered the option not to continue under the EU jackboot.

For fuck's sake, even the offer of an unloaded refendum would be good enough for me (and even for the majority of UKIP, I would imagine). The Tories have shown, both in rhetoric and action, that they fundamentally disagree with even asking the British people about this abso-fucking-lutely fundamental issue.

Until I see a change in both this policy and in the superior attitude of those leading the party*, I won't vote Tory. Full stop.

* Oh, yeah, and they can stick their state funding up their arse as well.

Geek Porn

For those of you with a geeky bent, here are some filthy porno shots of my new baby: a Mac Pro.

Armed with Dual 2GHz Woodcrest 64bit Intel Xeon processors (4MB L2 cache, 1.33GHz bus speed), two 250GB SATA hard drives ("Lucifer" and "Damien"), 3GB RAM, Radeon X1900 512MB graphics card, multi-layer DVD-RW, Bluetooth and Wireless Airport Networking, two Gigabit Ethernet ports, endless USB and Firewire ports: all for rather under £2k.

Needless to say, the whole thing is screamingly fast (even with Photoshop running under Rosetta emulation) compared to my four (?) year old G4.


Yes, that aluminium enclosure is lovely (and makes a great sound when you tap it) but it's the inside which is an engineer's fantasy...


Everything neatly packed in with no trailing wires, etc. The hard drives simply fit into the caddies and then you push them into place: there are no fiddly wires to connect. The RAM chips are mounted onto riser boards (which come out of the machine completely) and fit into place very neatly.

This morning, fitting a new hard drive and two new RAM chips took me just under eight minutes, total.

Most importantly, having been used to the "wind-tunnel" G4 PowerMac, this machine is almost totally silent. All I can hear is the occasional whirring of the hard drive.

Having said that, my old G4 (pictured below) is far from obsolete. It's a Dual 867MHz processor G4 PowerMac, with two hard drives (60GB and 120GB) and 1.5GB RAM, with a multi-layer DVD-RW and decent graphics card (can't remember which one just now, but it's 64MB, I think), Bluetooth, Ethernet, a keyboard and Apple Mighty Mouse (up to seven programmable buttons).


Although I shall be sad to part from my faithful friend (yes, I do feel that strongly about my Macs: it's a wrench letting any of them go), if anyone wants to make me an offer, feel free (I will take a working version of Windows XP (which I can run on my new machine) as part exchange, by the way: I need to test websites in Internet Explorer). Otherwise, the poor chap will be going onto eBay, I suspect.

Right, that's the end of the geek porn session*.

DISCLAIMER: thanks to The Dude, I have realised another dream, and now own 248 shares in Apple...


* If any Windows users want to point out that Macs are crap, please, just save your breath. Unix/Linux geeks will be tolerated since the Mac OS is essentially a Linux system these days. And, yes, you can shell into it directly, through the Terminal application.**

** Similarly, people pointing out that a computer is "just a tool" will also get short shrift. A pen is just a tool, but there's a massive fucking difference between a biro and a good fountain pen.

Terry Kelly and the adventure of the Renfrewshire Council fraud

Via Right For Scotland, who is rightfully laughing his arse off, it seems that four members of Renfrewshire Council are being investigated for possible fraudulent expenses claims.

Four Labour Councillors in Renfrewshire are currently the subject of a criminal probe by Strathclyde Police. It is understood that inquiries centre on expense and allowance claims made by among others, the Council's Lord Provost, Ronnie Burns. This afternoon the Crown Office confirmed a report has been submitted to the local Procurator Fiscal.

Of course, as RfS points out, one of our very favourite people is on Renfrewshire Council.

Of course this is particularly bad timing as only last week Councillor Terry Kelly made a “joke” about being involved in corrupt Labour politics at a local level for 40 years.

Did he really, you ask? Could he be so crass.

Having been involved in corrupt Labour politics for 40 yrs. I'm already rich, I don't need the money I've stolen enough, so I'm retiring, now crawl back under your stone.

Oh dear, oh dear. Alas, the story does not tell whether our favourite Terry is one of the councillors under investigation: one can only fervently that he is not because we will know that the fuzz have got the wrong man...

Another classic from Twenty...

I fucking hate paedophiles and I fucking hate dolphins but paedophile dolphins must surely be the worst thing on earth.

Read the whole thing!

Via Nosemonkey, I have done just this research survey on Euroblogs.

I think that it says a lot about my attitude that I don't consider myself to be a Euroblogger: I am a UK-based blogger...

MISSING, PRESUMED DEAD*

Does anyone know the whereabouts of Adrian Lithgow?

In September, wee Adrian was appointed as Head of Communications at the UK Independence Party and yet Adrian has not been seen or heard from during the current media shitstorm. At all.

Fears are growing for Adrian's safety; as the party is attacked from all sides, it is feared that Adrian may have succumbed to some for of extreme laryngitis. Certainly he seems to have entirely lost his voice.

Other party members are beginning to fear that young Adrian may be wandering around a wilderness somewhere, unable to remember who or where he is.

In order to help, The Devil's Kitchen is offering a reward** to anyone who can give us information leading to Adrian's discovery.

Please help.


* He'd better be.
** A Cadbury's Cream Egg.

I see that Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth won two Oscars last night.

I can't be bothered to find out the categories, but I assume that it was Best Documentary and Best Fucking Fiction...

Heaviest element described!

Found this on the UKIP West Bournemouth site.

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years.

It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each organisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Strnage that there no mention of one the few things that Governmential does react with: Cockroachesuptheorificium...

Tom Wise MEP

UKIP have published a short statement regarding Tom Wise MEP.

Responding to the report in today’s (25 February) Sunday Times regarding alleged misappropriation of European parliament allowances by Tom Wise MEP, party chairman Dr John Whittaker has issued the following statement.

“The European parliament has already conducted its own enquiry into this matter in early 2006. Although it found that Mr Wise had infringed the rules about handling parliamentary allowances, its conclusion was that ‘Parliament Services are satisfied that Mr Wise’s financial position vis-à-vis parliament in respect of allowances he has received are correct and intend no further action in this regard.’

“The UK Independence Party would never condone the misuse of public money. It will respect the results of the OLAF enquiry into this matter and will take whatever steps it deems appropriate as a consequence of that enquiry.”

Now, not to cast any aspersions on OLAF itself, obviously, but its own affairs are far from being either transparent or entirely honest.

However, it has to be said that Tom Wise MEP, a former policeman (no comment on that score), acted extemely foolishly at best. However, it is not correct to assert, as Richard North does, that "Wise is shown to be a serial embezzler".

Why? Well, Dr North points out that the points are similar to an earlier incident.

Much of the detail is similar to the original investigation into Wise's affairs in 2005, also by Foggo, then working for The Sunday Telegraph.

That is because the story concerns precisely the same incident.

I would reiterate that all of these recent incidents took place under a former leader; I have been assured, to my satisfaction, that the current leadership is absolutely determined to root out those who are attempting either to destroy or pervert the party. They are also determined to ensure that total financial propriety is observed.

More news as I get it.

UPDATE: Tom Wise has been suspended from the party by the current leadership, pending the results of the OLAF investigation.

Well done, Iain: just a bit late...

Iain Dale finally catches up.

The News of the World reports today that Tony Blair will sign up to Angela Merkel's replacement European Constitution without having a referendum. If this happens it really is true to say that we will have effectively become a province of the Greater Belgian Empire United States of Europe.

The News of the World can reveal the Prime Minister intends to rubber-stamp the European Constitution without consulting his likely successor Chancellor Gordon Brown — not to mention British voters. Mr Blair has PERSONALLY pushed forward plans for a permanent EU President and Foreign Minister as one of his last acts before he stands down as premier. He will travel to Berlin on March 25 to sign the 50-page agreement, Declaration on the Future of Europe. Far from a simple "declaration", this is a binding treaty which embodies "basic laws" for 490 million people in 27 countries.

Those of us who actually pay attention to these things were a little ahead of Iain here; I have summarised some of the facts in two articles at IndependenceHome.org, and I also reiterated them in this post, addressing Blair's petition response.

And what of your promise of a referendum—and I'll say it again—"regardless of how other members vote"?
Geoff Hoon, the Europe minister, has confirmed that the Government's promise of a referendum on the constitution would not apply to a "mini-treaty".
Ah, it's not going to happen, despite the fact that this is still essentially a European Constitution, you are weaselling out of it by saying that it is not the Constitution.

It seems that Iain has, belatedly, come to the same conclusion.

Blair will deny this is a replacement to the original European Constitution, but if it looks like a constitution, sounds like a constitution and smells like one, then that's exactly what it is. And the Conservatives should now lead the campaign against it.

And the chances of that are what, precisely? Let me remind you of what your Chairman, Francis Maude, said on Tory Radio.

It is not the Conservative Party's view that we should be out of the European Union; it is our view that we should work with others... partners... to reform it, to make it more appropriate, more decentralised... More appropriate for the modern networked world that we're in, rather than relating it back to the old block Europe, block world, that it was born into.
...

We'll take on UKIP, who are a fringe party... erm... I don't particularly respect what they are about, and we should be confident enough to mount the case on the approach to Europe which... er... we set out.

The Tories don't respect what UKIP are about—which is, in a nutshell, regaining the ability to rule ourselves—and they are in favour of remaining within the EU.

Yes, they have bleated on about how they are against the European Constitution, but this is just the same form of weasel words that Blair is using. I guarantee that you will find the Tories wittering on about how it's just "a tidying up exercise" and not a Constitution; either that, or they won't mention it at all—after all, they don't want constantly to "bang on about Europe", eh?—and quietly, quietly help the government to ratify it.

We're being stitched up like kippers, and I fucking hate them for it.

EU Referendum and quote attribution

Now, I like to think that we try to obey netiquette in this here blogosphere; the rules are fairly well-known, if unwritten, but one of those rules is that quotes are acknowledged as such. To do otherwise is to essentially plagiarise, a practice frowned upon even outwith the Fifth Estate.

Reading EU Referendum of late, I seem to have been getting severe deja vu. And... Well, EU Referendum have written a post on the subject of Tom Wise, UKIP MEP. Leaving aside the story itself (which I know a bit about but not enough to speak with any authority), perhaps you'd like to do a compare and contrast on a few paragraphs (none of which are attributed as quotes)...

Daniel Foggo in The Times:

Wise’s method was simple. He supplied the EU payments office with a contract, obtained by The Sunday Times, which included Jenkins’s name and details and stipulated that she apparently wanted her money to be paid into her account, entitled “Stags”.

In fact, this account, the full name of which was “T Wise trading as Stags”, was a business account run by the MEP himself.

EU Referendum:

Wise's method was simple. He supplied the EU payments office with a contract, obtained by The Sunday Times, which included Jenkins's name and details and stipulated that she apparently wanted her money to be paid into her account, entitled "Stags". In fact, this account, the full name of which was "T Wise trading as Stags", was a business account run by the MEP himself.

Daniel Foggo:

From November 2004 until October 2005 he funnelled £39,100 of taxpayers’ money into his own account with the Cooperative Bank from which he paid Jenkins just £13,555, according to bank statements obtained by The Sunday Times. They show that the only money coming into the account was from the EU, ostensibly for Jenkins.

EU Referendum:

From November 2004 until October 2005 he funnelled £39,100 of taxpayers' money into his own account with the Cooperative Bank from which he paid Jenkins just £13,555.

Bank statements obtained by Foggo show that the only money coming into the account was from the EU, ostensibly for Jenkins.

Daniel Foggo:

In another breach of the EU rules, some of the £13,555 paid to her was actually for work done on behalf of other party members, including the UKIP leader Nigel Farage who had agreed to fund the publication of a Eurosceptic book written by Jenkins.

EU Referendum:

But the breach of rules did not stop there. Some of the £13,555 paid to her was actually for work done on behalf of other party members, including UKIP leader Nigel Farage, who had agreed to fund the publication of a book written by Jenkins.

Daniel Foggo:

During the same timespan, more than £19,000 of the money was steadily paid out from Wise’s account to other destinations, some of them apparently credit cards. One disbursement alone, made via a transfer to somebody other than Jenkins, was for £6,500.

EU Referendum:

Then, during the same timespan, more than £19,000 of the money was steadily paid out from Wise's account to other destinations, some of them apparently credit cards. One disbursement alone, made via a transfer to somebody other than Jenkins, was for £6,500.

Daniel Foggo:

The party has been paying its regional organisers by designating them “advisers” and “assistants” to its 10 MEPs, thereby allowing them to draw salaries of up to £40,000 a year from the EU, while they do their actual jobs “in their spare time”.

EU Referendum:

... the Party has been paying its regional organisers by designating them "advisers" and "assistants" to its 10 MEPs. By using this ploy, salaries of up to £40,000 a year have been paid from the MEPs' EU expenses, relying on the further fiction that they do their actual jobs "in their spare time".

Daniel Foggo:

Further details are set to be exposed because Denis Brookes, one of the party’s former officials, issued industrial tribunal proceedings against Mike Nat-trass, the party’s MEP for the West Midlands region.

It is understood that Brookes has stated in his claim for unfair dismissal that he was being paid to do one job while actually employed to do another one entirely, so that the party could secure EU funding for him.

EU Referendum:

Further details are set to be exposed because Denis Brookes, one of the party's former officials, issued industrial tribunal proceedings against Mike Nattrass, the party's MEP for the West Midlands region (pictured). It is understood that Brookes has stated in his claim for unfair dismissal that he was being paid to do one job while actually employed to do another one entirely, so that the party could secure EU funding for him.

Now, I am not saying that Richard North has actually plagiarised Daniel Foggo's article (would I do that?) but I am saying that, in any real test of plagiarism, altering a word here and there wouldn't get you off. Unless, of course, Dr North is entirely permitted to use Foggo's words because they are, in fact, his?

In any case Dr North should declare his interest: Dr North was employed as a researcher for UKIP, and was sacked for failing to turn up for work.

UPDATE: Nosemonkey weighs in, in typically measured yet scathing style. I particularly enjoyed NM's reference to the military hardware pictures...

... which North then verbally masturbates over like a cross between a caged monkey and the most deranged characature of a right-wing militaristic maniac since Dr Strangelove’s General Ripper.

It should be pointed out that this one example that I picked out is far from being the first example that a noticed, and I'm sure that it won't be the last.

UPDATE 2: Iain Dale suspects that it is collaboration between Foggo and North; in which case, as I said, anyone with integrity would declare their interest.

Whatever the truth of it is, the whole saga hardly paints UKIP in a very positive light.

This is true, although a good deal of it is old news and baseless. However, UKIP will be making a statement in the next 24 hours or so which I shall relay here. You can also tune in to see your humble Devil on 18DoughtyStreet from 9pm tomorrow, when I imagine that some of this stuff with come up.

Stick to writing about economics

Chris Dillow of Stumbling and Mumbling, normally a man I have respect for, yesterday published a rather unpleasant post on the "chippiness" of public school boys.

The reason that I respect Chris is that he writes about what he knows, i.e. money and general economic theory, but in this case, I am afraid, he not only displays a woeful ignorance of public schools and their ethos but also a massive chip on his shoulder. In fact, the only thing that I can hope for is that he is writing with his tongue firmly in his cheek.

I for one never had an argument with an aristocrat at Balliol - and if I had, I wouldn't have lost.

A statement that displays all of the arrogance that he attributes to public school boys, a theme on which The Reptile is remarkably eloquent). It's rather sad, actually. Are you sure that you wouldn't have lost an argument, Chris? Perhaps you would like to argue about some aspect of microbiology with your humble Etonian Devil, hmmm?

Thirdly, it's not chippiness we feel towards public school kids, but contempt.

Arrogance, once again.

I, and I hope Clive, are quite happy with the way our lives have turned out. We don't envy Etonians. Quite the opposite.

Well, bully for you; what do you want—a medal. I should think that the vast majority of Etonians are quite happy with the way that their lives have turned out as well, and I doubt that many of them would possibly expect you to envy them. What's your point, precisely?

It's pitiful that such people have had so much money spent on their education and yet have (with a few exceptions) turned into no-marks.

Quite apart from the large number of OEs who have gone on to do good things (Ranulph Fiennes is someone I've always admired, for instance), including one or two becoming Prime Ministers, Chris utterly misses the point about what one pays for.

I have written on this subject several times before, so I shall summarise from one of my previous postings.

I was in a class of 24 or so until my first A-level year; that's not an awful lot lower than state schools. But, why was the Eton education so valuable (not for my A-level results which were, due to my extreme laziness and inability to grasp the more complex points of organic chemistry, not particularly good)? It was because whilst there I could do almost anything that I wanted in terms of... well... hobbies. I took part in theatre, both acting and producing; I am sitting in my flat, in Edinburgh, right now, surrounded by my metal sculptures (my primary passion at school); others played sport, or did fencing, or swam, or built working aeroplanes, or... Well, you get the idea.

The point is that schooling should not simply be about exam qualifications. It should be about finding out what you are good at, it should involve having the opportunity to try many different things.

Some, I've heard, are so imbecilic that they couldn't even get into Oxford.

Many more, of course, realising that Oxbridge are completely overrated in some areas (especially the sciences and medicine, where there are far superior universities) and didn't even try. Besides, we also didn't want to be labelled as the kind of twats who act like they are lord god almighty because they went to Oxford. Whoopie-fucking-do, eh?

The fact is that when there are seven boys competing for each place, as there were when I attended Eton, one tends to find that the entry exams are quite tricky (and the more people there are going for a place, the higher the required mark). So, whilst I have known Etonians who are hardly worldly-wise, few of them are actually "imbecilic".

Even the public schoolboys who have done quite well for themselves have done little better than us.

Again, whoop-de-do! The medal is in the post, Chris.

When I worked in the City, I remember talking to an Harrovian colleague and asking: "aren't you embarrassed that, with all that money spent on your education, you've ended up working next to me?"

And what was his reply? Was it reasonable? Or was it, "yes, in fact I'm embarrassed to sit next to a 'snotty nosed little provincial oik' like you"? I doubt that it was the latter myself.

But since we have already established that Chris utterly misunderstands the point of spending that money, it is hardly surprising that he would ask such a fatuous question.

I've often thought we should rename public schools as "special schools", designed to give an education to people who would otherwise be unequipped to thrive in normal society.

It is that kind of pathetic chippiness that marks out the fool; not only lumping in every person who went to public school together in one epithet, but also lumping all the public schools together.

What makes Chris think that his rather disgusting inverted snobbery is any more attractive than the values that he attributes to the entire body of public school educated people. I believe that the word for this is "bigotry", and my contempt for that attitude matches, I am sure, Chris's contempt for public school boys.

Stick to what you are good at, my dear Dillow, i.e. writing about money and markets rather than something that you haven't the faintest clue about.

Yet more UKIP stories

There's another slew of allegations about UKIP in The Times and The Telegraph today, alledging a whole slew of financial irregularities. It seems that the media are out to get the party in a big way.

One of the journos involved is a little wet behind the ears and essentially revealed his sources, one of them being a total fuckwit known as Greg Lance-Watkins (who is being fed by some disgruntled ex-UKIP people, and a couple of current ones (who will shortly not be)). In case you haven't heard his name, he is the... er... gentleman who condoned the murder of Anna Lindh in 2003.

In e-mails sent to a variety of organisations, he said: "I do hope there will be patriots in Britain with the courage to deal with traitors that has been shown in Sweden.

"If our corrupt politicians force us to take the same route to defend our economy and country... then I suggest the first patriot to take direct action is remembered by putting his or her statue on the remaining plinth in Trafalgar Square."
...

Last night Mr Lance-Watkins stood by his comments. "Yes, I do support the execution of elected politicians when they seek to betray the electorate and their country," he said.

(Interestingly, Daniel Foggo, who wrote that article, is the journo who wrote this morning's article for The Times.)

So, for your edification, I thought that I would publish the latest email missive from Greg, who sends them regularly to a number of organisations. This particular email is one of the less libellous ones. Oh, and the "UKIP Forum" that he mentions is, in fact, The British Independence and Democracy Forum which, whilst it used to be called the UKIP Forum, was asked to cease using that URL some time ago since it is not, in any way, affiliated with UKIP (although several UKIP members post there).

Reply to Greg@GlanceBack.Demon.co.UK

Hi,

Having seen many lies, distortions and abuse on UKIP Forum by serial liars like Douglas Denny, Mark Croucher and others and also gratuitous abuse by the dishonest foul mouthed Annabell Fuller aka ‘BellyTricks’, and her odious little friend the revolting and childish ‘Devils Kitchen’ – was particularly disgusted at the endless dishonest and ill informed attacks made of people who resigned from EUkip in their disgust at the clearly dishonest leadership team.

The sordid, ill mannered behaviour of those in the pay of the EU through EUkip and their endless deceipt, duplicity and corruption from the unarguable dishonesty and fraud of Tom Wise, clearly on a self enrichment scam, the duplicty of the NEC, MEPs and the corrupt inquiry of Trevor Colman in covering up shows them all to have colluded in the fraud. The willingness to distort and lie in such an EU style relative to the whistleblower and the duplicity and deception of Lindsay jenkins repeating lies verbally and in written form regarding myself. The lies of Denny, Malcolm Wood, John Moran, Graham Booth and others in fear of exposure by myself and finally the lies about the £363,000 make one sick at the thought that these revolting people have siezed the controls, so clearly for their own gain as useful idiots acting for the EU, of EUkip which held such promise for the repatriation of independence and sovereignty for its grass roots and the honest activists.

I was aware that Alan Bown had made donations to EUkip during a period when seemingly he had lapsed from the electoral roll – I had thought the contribution was almost £500,000 but seemingly I over estimated – I had assumed that Alan Bown had dropped off of the electoral roll for personal reasons as I knew he still had his house and other properties and I assumed he had done so to either avoid begging letters having sold his business, to avoid ‘old rivalries’ as his background was possibly unsavoury having made his money as a professional gambler with betting shops, or finally that having taken up with some woman now he had money he was elluding a spouse – who knows.

I DID know AB was not on the electoral roll and I spoke to the then treasurer John deRoeke, David Lott and Nigel Farage advocating they regularise the matter to avoid being ‘zapped’ when they could politically least afford it!

This and other reasons combine to clarify why I always stated Nigel Farage was EUkip’s greatest asset and greatest liability – NF is clearly the only direct link wittingly between the illegal money and the present management since Alan Bown had no legal responsibility to know his payment was unlawful – it was the duty of EUkip to ensure ALL donations were lawful NF & others deliberately floutted the law even if it could be shown they originally acted out of incompetence.

To see the odious behaviour of Farage supporters and those seeking to keep their snouts, if not in the troughs at least clear of risk, prepared to berate, lie, denigrate and distort – particularly on UKIP Forum is a sickening spectacle.

Consider the lies and distortions of the posturing and idiotic little Croucher where I have lifted his whole farago of lies from UKIP Forum and commented in text commencing >>> and ending <<<

As follows but let me first make it very clear that Mark Croucher is a liar, a cheat, duplicitous, untrustworthy and beneath contempt having done little but long term harm to EUkip and the entire EUroSceptic movement with his dishonesty and embittered little ego, his vile behaviour and his corruption. A less suitable person for employ with the public it would be hard to find and for his evil betrayal of the principles of Patriotism, EUroScepticism and common decency I wish him rapid failure in his future ventures, commensurate with the damage he has don in EUkip – a sordid little man of no visible merit, vicious and cowardly exploiting privilige for personal gain. I accept in good company with many of the others who have control of EUkip.

The articles in The Sunday Telegraph and subsequently again in The Sunday Telegraph and Sunday Times, Independent, Telegraph, Guardian, Express and tomorrow The Independent, Telegraph, Guardian and various other media and on Sunday The Sunday Times whose article is unarguable and totally vindicates my often repeated comments though I am sure such as the unstable little Denny, Page, Croucher, Wood, Moran, Wise, Knapman, Batten, Jenkins, Booth and other liars, cheats and dissemblers will none of them be man enough nor have the integrity to apologise for the lies they have spread about me just as The Sunday Telegraph will clearly show my warnings have been right – to the detail!

We desperately need a strong opposition in Government as a Government is as good as its opposition – is it any wonder Labour are a disaster – just look at the callibre of The Tories to understand how they can be so dishonest and so incompetent – clearly apart from the sad old Ming and his team of s**t Eaters, drunk & perverts it would seem every British Party has a liar, a cheat and a fraud as leader, clearly EUkip is becoming more mainstream by the minute, they even have a couple of ineffectual passed over Peers now!

Britain desperately needs a STRONG EUroRealist Party Pressure Group acting politically to chuck the evil communist construct of a EUropean soviet and to redeem our democracy and the fundamental human right of self determination liberated from the undemocratic EU the communist Gaulleiters and the doctorine of Common Purpose so wrapped in the dishonesties and control of Political Correctness, new speak and false fears of SARS, BSE, F&M;, Global warming, religious fears, fake terrorism and Climate Change which man does NOT cause and can not influence as we have almost no understanding of its causes cyclicly as we move from ice age to ice age!

I warned many years ago that UKIP was our lifeboat but sadly it has been seized by crooks, pirates and freebooters for their own gain and glory.

I warned against permitting the corrupt to seize EUkip and I said I would act if they did.

I am proud to say that I have participated in every exposure of the truth so far and I promise you aint seen nothing yet – we are inching ever closer to a possible series of prison cells but there is still time for the corrupt to apologise and resign – returning that which they have perloined as they depart. I will continue to supply the media with material without fear or favour until UKIP is returned to the grass roots and the honest. People like Page, Croucher and their ilk serve their cause ill with lies and distortions to journalists. Just as EUkip being in such a parlous stage that currently the press office referrs all questions to Farage! In view of the dishonesty and lies it is probably a good idea as that way at least only one ‘story’ gets spun!

Now to show just how serious are the lies of EUkip I will deal with EUkip’s Press Officer’s mailing minded that he is still contractually employed until April though seemingly on paid holiday in return I hear for his silence for which he will be rewarded!

It seems to me that this guy is just a wee bit unhinged, frankly. However, The Times and The Telegraph do take him seriously, it seems. Which is weird because, having seen a goodly number of his lunatic ravings, I wouldn't.

As far as I am aware, none of these stories have any real substance to them; indeed, whilst The Telegraph keeps on harping back to its story about lots of money not making it into the central accounts, one thing that the Electoral Commission's report has shown is that the story is false.

However, it would seem indisputable that UKIP's finances could be run rather more professionally. The problem is that that would require a full-time Treasurer (rather than a Treasurer who has a day-job as an accountant, as they have had so far).

It should be pointed out at this stage, that your humble Devil is running for the UKIP National Executive Committee and, if elected, will do his level best to ensure that these sorts of allegations cannot be made again.

That is, if the party survives that long...

Fishing for squirrels

Via Dizzy, I was fishing for squirrels (no really) and look what I caught: a really big, fucking annoying squirrel that just keeps on squeaking! This squirrel won't shut the fuck up or piss off and die, no matter how long everyone keeps asking—and we didn't like to carry on telling the squirrel to shut the fuck up and piss off because we felt guilty, like we were kicking a disabled child or something.

See the video we made below of the squirrel not shutting the fuck up or pissing off! Isn't it annoying...?



Having said all that, her kitchen's a fuck sight nicer than Dave Cameron's...

What price free speech?

Via A Place To Stand, a German has been deported from Canada to Germany, where he has been convicted of Holocaust denial.

MANNHEIM, Germany - A German court on Thursday convicted far-right activist Ernst Zundel and sentenced him to five years in prison for Holocaust denial in a case that underlined Germany's determination to prosecute people who claim the Nazis didn't murder six million Jews.

The 67-year-old Zundel, who was deported from Canada in 2005, was convicted on 14 counts of inciting hatred for years of anti-Semitic activities, including contributing to a Web site devoted to denying the Holocaust — a crime in Germany.
...

Mannheim prosecutors were able to open a case against Zundel because his Holocaust-denying Web site is available in Germany.

Neil comments thusly:

We are very close to deporting & imprisoning people for saying that the Srebrenica massacre was faked (it was) or that we don't face catastrophic global warming (we don't). Particularly chilling is the refusal to look at the contrary evidence (I believe the evidence for the disappearance of millions of Polish Jews is overwhelming but that is not the point). We are seeing an example of truth being not what the facts say but what government says. Everywhere.

This, of course, is the point: that history becomes what the government say it is, not what the facts tell us. I think that it is right to condemn Holocaust deniers, but it is also right to condemn Germany (and Austria) for their disgusting disregard for free speech.

Lest anyone here get too smug, when the EU's Framework Decision on Combating Racism and Xenophobia is implemented in this country, as it must be by 30 June 2007, we will be required to prosecute any Holocaust deniers in this country too.

Again:

We are seeing an example of truth being not what the facts say but what government says.

I, and others, will be writing more on this framework in the next week or so but, in the meantime, consider the above sentence and look forward to 30 June 2007 when the above will be true, EU-wide.

Amanda Sandford: patronising fuck

Via Timmy, I find that Amanda Sandford, the leader of ASH, is a smug, patronising cunt.

He appears to blind a horse on stage, he is naked and he has to simulate losing his virginity. But what really ruffled feathers yesterday was that Daniel Radcliffe, the 17-year-old star of the Harry Potter films, will smoke on stage in his West End debut.

Photographs show the actor, with stubble and looking more Harry Enfield than Harry Potter, half-way through a cigarette in a scene from Equus, the celebrated Peter Shaffer play in which Radcliffe opens at the Gielgud Theatre on Tuesday.

As an aside, I have seen a couple of productions of Equus and it is, in your humble Devil's opinions, one of the most powerful plays ever written; I would urge you all to go and see it, if you have not. However, back to the point.

The image brought immediate condemnation.

Amanda Sandford, a spokesman for Ash, the anti-smoking organisation, said: "It is regrettable that he is smoking, whatever the circumstances. He is a role model for young people and if he decided to take up smoking in real life that would be of great concern.

Really, Amanda? Look, love, why don't you piss off and put the tea on, love? Because what fucking concern of yours is it what a private individual does in their private life, you interfering, old bag? If people are stupid enough to do something—whether that's smoking, drink, drugs, anorexia, bulimia, child-fucking or whining like a frustrated mother-hen—simply because a celebrity does it, then the weak-minded fucks deserve everything that they get, frankly.

Although, if one of my celebrity heroes started telling fucking jobsworth's like you to fuck off, then I might be tempted to idolise them a bit more...

"Even though it is an act, nicotine is highly addictive and he could find himself hooked."

Fuck off, you patronising, shit-stick. Don't you think that, just possibly, Daniel Radcliffe might have worked this out for himself? There's hardly a shortage of information, is there? What do you think he is: some kind of retard?

Besides, and here's the crucial bit, love: have you ever heard about herbal cigarettes? You know, ones that don't contain nicotine? Actors use them all the time. Indeed, in Ireland, for instance, you can only smoke on stage if you are using herbal cigarettes. Do you see?

Now, why don't you put on your sensible shoes, Amanda, and walk off the end of the pissing pier, you patronising, old harridan. Fuck you, fuck ASH and fuck your fucking face.

David Pugh, the producer of the revival, said: "If they are worried about smoking and not about the fact that he's simulating sex with a young girl on stage, it makes me think that they've got their priorities wrong.

Fuck me, I hadn't realised that sex with girls was a crime as well.

What a shitty, fucking country we live in, populated by killjoy, arsehole, in-it-for-the-money, self-important, self-appointed guardians of our moral well being, like Amanda "shit-stain" Sandford.

When I rule this country, after I have executed every senior civil servant, the fucking health-fascist lobby and pressure groups—like ASH and their ilk—will be next to climb the gallows, whilst a baying crowd smokes, fucks, drinks, takes drugs and cheers with every jerk of the noose. And I will personally blow smoke up Amanda's cunt as she twitches on the end of a rope.

But in the meantime, Equus really is worth seeing. Especially for the smoking. Oh, and the fucking...

Just to update my coterie of visual admirers, I am on 18DoughtyStreet for three hours this coming Monday, from 9pm until midnight. Yes, I am expecting to answer some probing questions on UKIP's finances!

Tune in for your dose of Devil...

A few aphorisms for modern living

Here are a few tips for people to obey in order to avoid getting cockroaches rammed up their every orifice.

1. Snap previews might well be the single most annoying web invention ever.


2. Websites that make sounds or play music whilst you browse are always a fucking mistake: do this on your website and, no matter how desirable you products, I will leave immediately, OK? It's just not acceptable.


3. Just because you can take up the whole of the tunnel, pavement or walkway does not mean that you should.
   
   That includes people who walk really slowly or pretty quickly: however fast you move, I promise you that I walk more swiftly. And it definitely includes you fuckers snogging as you walk along; I don't give two shits about how in love you are, just get out of my fucking way.


4. You don't have to stand in the middle of the aisle, thus effectively blocking it, in order to look at what is on the bottom shelves. Unless you are very long-sighted, in which case get some glasses and get out of my cunting way.


5. When you go into the pub, take your fucking rucksack off, you cunt.


6. I know this is tautological, but don't be a corrupt, venal, incompetant, shit-stain politician.

You see, easy rules for a cockroach-free living, the Devil way...

Blair's Mass email

From the excellent Beau Bo D'Or...



Can you guess which line really made me laugh...?

More U-kipper-y...

A missive reaches me from a trusted source about the reason that the UKIP South East accounts were late.

The accountant is Robin Collet. Robin Collet had an aneurysm whilst driving in his car, swerved off the road and into a ditch. Luckily, the person behind him had a relative who had recently had an aneurysm, knew the signs immediately, called 999 and Robin got to hospital in time.

The leading specialists in the UK were flown down to treat him and gave him a 1% chance of survival and when he did, indeed, pull through all of the specialists in the country flew down to wonder at how the bloody hell he had managed it.

So UKIP South East applied for an extension to the accounts, given these circumstances, and it was granted by the Electoral Commission. And now the EC are saying that they are going to fine us for late filing of the accounts...

I think that it is time to find out who the people comprising this shadowy Electoral Commission are, don't you?

UPDATE: Stephen Pollard is right about the Electoral Commission.

A rule designed to stop foreign donors is being used to stop UKIP taking money from a British citizen who has created thousands of jobs and paid millions in tax.

Meanwhile, electoral fraud is rife and the useless Sam Younger does nothing of any value. What a pathetic man, What a ridiculous body. What a warped sense of priorities.

He was doing so well, and then writes something like this...

As regular readers will know, I regard UKIP as a bunch of nutters and think their policy of pulling out of the EU dangerous folly.

Stephen, the very least that you could do would be to provide a link, for those of us who do not read you very often, as to why you think that "pulling out of the EU [is a] dangerous folly". Personally, I think that withdrawal makes every kind of sense and there are absolutely no arguments for remaining in; I've certainly never heard one convincing argument for staying.

But, anyway, I digress: the Electoral Commission: what a bunch of poisonous twits, eh?

UPDATE 2: Stephen Pollard has now posted a link to a Civitas paper that he wrote [PDF] with, of all people, Lord Pearson.

UPDATE 3: having read the conclusion of the paper so far, I disgree utterly and I believe that events since 2005 (when it was written) will back me up (not least Pearson's defection). However, I have promised Stephen a proper fisking in the next couple of days and so we have both cried, "let battle commence!"

Your humble Devil is looking forward to it...

Prodi-offski

Via Nosemonkey, I see that Romano Prodi has been forced to resign after only nine months as Italy's PM.

ROME (AP) - Premier Romano Prodi resigned Wednesday after nine months in office following an embarrassing loss by his center-left government in the Senate on foreign policy, including Italy's military mission in Afghanistan.

Romano Prodi—who preceded Barroso as head of the EU Commission—was, of course, at one point accused of being a KGB agent.

In April 2006, a British Member of the European Parliament for London, Gerard Batten of UKIP, claimed that Litvinenko had said he had been told that Romano Prodi, the Italian centre-left leader, the current Prime Minister of Italy and former President of the European Commission, had been the KGB's "man in Italy." Batten demanded an inquiry into the allegations. He told the European Parliament that Litvinenko had been informed by FSB deputy chief, General Anatoly Trofimov (who was shot dead in Moscow in 2005) that "Romano Prodi is our man (in Italy)".[33]According to Brussels-based newspaper, the EU Reporter on 3 April 2006, "another high-level source, a former KGB operative in London, has confirmed the story".

That operative is rumoured to have been the defector, Igor Gordievsky.

Anyway, Prodiu has a number of unique talents which I am sure will ensure that he will be employed again very soon. [Emphasis mine.]

On April 2, 1978, Prodi and other members of the faculty of the University of Bologna passed on a tip about a safe house where Aldo Moro, the former Prime Minister kidnapped by the Red Brigades, was detained. Prodi claimed he had been given the tip by the founders of the Christian Democratic Party, contacted from beyond the grave via a séance and a Ouija board. While Prodi thought the word Gradoli referred to a town on the outskirts of Rome, it likely referred to the Roman address of a BR safehouse, located at via Gradoli 96. Later, other Italian members of the European Commission claimed that Prodi had invented this story to conceal the real source of the tip, which they believed to have originated in the Italian extraparliamentary left.

With that kind of power, I imagine that Romano will be swiftly employed as a medium, if nothing else. If he also has the power to look into the future, as welll as contact the dead, perhaps Signor Prodi could enlighten us as to when Litvinenko's pal, Mario Scaramella will be released from prison too...?

... like a kipper

Compare...

A UKIP donor, who has lived and worked in the UK all of his life, does not fill his Electoral Register form and the Electoral Commission decide that UKIP must repay (to the Treasury) the entirety of Alan Brown's donations for the year 2005.

In a letter sent to Bruce Lawson, the Ukip treasurer, the commission confirmed that it “will be proceeding to apply to court for the forfeiture of £363,697 in respect of 68 donations from Mr Bown made during the period December 2004 to January 2006”.

... and contrast...

The Lib Dems receive a donation of £2.4 million from a convicted fraudster based overseas, and the Electoral Commission considers that the party has no case to answer.

The Electoral Commission has previously made clear its view that it was reasonable for the Liberal Democrats - based on the information available to them at the time - to regard the donations they received from 5th Avenue Partners Ltd in 2005, totalling just over £2.4m, as permissible.

It remains the Commissions view that the Liberal Democrats acted in good faith at that time, and the Commission is not re-opening the question of whether the party or its officers failed to carry out sufficient checks into the permissibility of the donations.
...

It is not clear to the Commission that 5th Avenue Partners Ltd was carrying on business in the UK at the time the donations were made.

So, just to spell that out again: a clerical error regarding a British individual's electoral status (that UKIP could not possibly be expected to anticipate or, reasonably, even know about) results in the Electoral Commission deciding to claw back the money (which goes to the Treasury) and effectively bankrupt UKIP in the process.

But when the Lib Dems accept a massive sum from a donor, based overseas (and it is unclear whether the company was even carrying on business in Britain, i.e. it was just a shell), who is subsequently convicted of fraud, the Lib Dems "acted in good faith at that time".

Oh, yeah; that's really fair, isn't it? Um, I may be biased, but does anyone see any double standards here?

UKIP's statement is up at IndependenceHome.org.

UKIP Party Chairman John Whittaker said that the party is guilty of nothing more than "a simple clerical error which could have been easily rectified had it been known."

The Electoral Commission has taken the decision to apply for forfeiture of donations to the value of £363,697 from the UK Independence Party, saying that these donations were impermissible because the donor, Mr Alan Bown, was not on the Electoral Register between December 2004 and January 2006.

He was, however, on the register at his Kent address before this period and has also been on the register since January 2006. He was unaware that his name had been removed from the list during 2005. Mr Bown has been giving money to UKIP throughout this time with all of his donations properly reported.

Dr Whittaker said, "Mr Bown was entitled to be on the electoral register throughout the period in question, and has been a permanent resident and taxpayer in the UK all his working life. I don't believe the law was designed to catch out this sort of donor; it was intended to prevent dodgy overseas money being given to UK political parties.

"The UK Independence Party regrets this error. However, we point out that there was obviously no intent to breach or evade Section 54 of the Political Parties, Elections and Referendums Act 2000.

"Had Mr Bown realised that his name had been removed from the electoral register, he could have completed the relevant form and immediately rendered himself a permissible donor.

"The decision by the Electoral Commission to confiscate this money based on nothing more than an honest mistake is astonishing."

Naturally, Iain Dale is over the moon and your humble Devil has responded by donating a ton to UKIP: you can donate something here, or at IndependenceHome.org, should you so desire. Or if you don't really desire but think that the Big Three have enough of a stranglehold on our political scene already and that bankrupting competitor parties is probably a bad thing for democracy.

Stupid, stupid tennis players

Via The Dude (who is similarly unimpressed), I see that Wimbledon has caved in to the silly bitch brigade.

LONDON, England -- Men and women will receive equal prize money at Wimbledon this year for the first time in the history of the most prestigious tennis tournament in the world.

The All England Club, which runs Wimbledon, announced on Thursday that it would fall into line with the U.S. Open and Australian Open in paying equal prize money across all events.
...

"In summary, we take the view that this is good for tennis, good for the women players and good for Wimbledon," said All England Club chairman Tim Phillips.

Really. Well, what did last year's female winner have to say about it? [Emphasis mine.]

"It's definitely a victory for women in general. I said it was a matter of time, and it was," Mauresmo said in Dubai.

"I think most of the people agreed it's not a matter of how long we (women) spend on the court. The men are always going to play longer because they play best of five sets. It's just a matter of being equal."

Er, what the fuck? What the fuck are you... I mean, what... I... I... What is anything you say? Seriously, woman; are you having a laugh? Let's look at those two sentences again, shall we?

The men are always going to play longer because they play best of five sets.

Whereas women play the best of three sets...

It's just a matter of being equal.

I'm sorry, but I'm flabbergasted. Again, what the fuck?

Look, you silly bitch, if it's a matter of being equal, then either the women get paid less or they play five sets, OK?

If you employ two people and, all other things being equal, one works for 8 hours and the other works for 4 hours, the one working for 4 hours gets paid less. That's equal, right?

Because if you paid the one working 4 hours the same as the one working 8 hours, that wouldn't be equal, would it? Because the person working 4 hours would be getting paid twice as much per hour as the person working 8 hours. That, my little Mauresmo, is not equality, is it?

For fuck's sake! I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to post that statement again.

"The men are always going to play longer because they play best of five sets. It's just a matter of being equal."

Yup, I'm pretty fucking certain that that is the stupidest thing that I've heard anybody say so far this year. And believe me, being a political blogger, I've been tracking some total fucking chimps...

Stephen Norris: all mouth and no trousers

Interviewed on 18DoughtyStreet by Iain Dale, Steve "Shagger" Norris has said some very sensible things about the EU.

“The institution of the European Union which I think is corrupted and corrupting and largely redundant…if it were put to me that it were practicable the intention of Cameron’s Conservative party to withdraw ourselves formally from the European Union that wouldn’t cause me a single moment’s distress.
...

So, I'm a thoroughly-signed up Eurosceptic..."

Whilst this is all good stuff, strangely I can't find Steve's name on the list of those signed up to Better Off Out. I imagine that this is merely an oversight and that Norris will soon be apppearing on that illustrious list (a list which includes, I'm heartened to see, Mr Gavin Ayling).

Of course, if this is not an oversight and Norris has not signed up to Better Off Out, one might be forced to conclude that Shagger is all mouth and no trousers and, as such, as much of a waste of time as that fat fool, Letwin (of whom, more later).

Over at the Global New Media blog, your humble Devil is busy running neck-and-neck with Iain Dale. With January already under his belt, your humble Devil would simply love to add February to his trophy room too...

Go vote!

Via Clairwil, I see that The Metro are trying to get in on the blogging scene by offering a Best of Britblog Award. If you can be bothered, why not pop along and nominate your humble Devil, even just so that we can see the judges faces pale as they read...?

Or at least nominate one of the Swearbloggers...

Dizzy about climate change

A double whammy from Dizzy Thinks now. Firstly, news on yet another government web failure.

The Lib Dem MP, Martin Horwood appears to be rather concerned about the impact on public knowledge on closing the Climate Challenge website down.
...

What will the impact on environmental awareness be? Clearly bugger all. The Climate Challenge website managed to attract a whopping 6,383 hits, and we have no idea how many of those were the web desigenr and people from DEFRA.

The site, according to its header information, was set up in "2006-05-01", which I assume means 1st May 2006; so in nearly 10 months, the site has had roughly 6,500 hits which works out at roughly 650 hits a month. To put that in perspective, The Kitchen has had nearly 30,000 hits so far this month (and I block my IP address so it doesn't register my visits).

Individual visitors is another matter: The Kitchen has so far registered just over 27,000 individual visitors this month. This correlates pretty well with the hit rate, because people tend to load only the one page, i.e. the front page (and this is partly because I include so many posts on the front page. If I wanted to boost my hit rate, I could display only a single post on the front page; people would thus be forced to load another page for each post that they wanted to read).

On a site such as Climate Challenge, each new page will almost certainly register as a hit. So, if you visit and hop through four pages, that will register as four hits; but it is only one visitor! When you consider this fact, the figures look even less impressive.

Another government triumph, I think you'll agree!

Next up, Dizzy has discovered that Batshit has a YouTube profile, and look what's on it! Is that our darling DEFRA Minister? Yes, I think it is!



Note that David repeats, yet again, that old lie that our effect on climate change is "unambiguous". I have taken this assertion apart before, at length, as well as posting a comment on his crappy attempt at a blog.

Batshit is obviously of the opinion that if you keep on repeating a lie, eventually it will become true. Sorry, Davey, a lie is a lie however many times you tell it.

Mind you, you can see why he's such a fan of Toni, eh?

Garton-Ash: load of trash

Master Worstall absolutely trashes Garton Ash today, showing the bearded twat up to be the lazy, stupid bastard that he is.

Tim Garton Ash provides a dirge of sub-Marxist wibble today. Can capitalism survice? Will it eat itself? What, oh what, can we lefties look forward to as an alternative? Anything, anything except capitalism will do, of course.
...

However ingenious modern capitalists are at finding alternative technologies - and they will be very ingenious - somewhere down the line this is going to mean richer consumers settling for less rather than more.

There's only one problem with this prescription, that we cannot all live well. It's untrue. Now we have in fact had a look at what the future might be like. It's called the Special Report on Emissions Scenarios and it's what forms the basis of the IPCC's report on climate change. Reject this and you need to reject the scientific consensus on climate change itself: for it's the very basis upon which it is built. Here's one of the SRES families of scenarios:

The A1 storyline is a case of rapid and successful economic development, in which regional average income per capita converge—current distinctions between "poor" and "rich" countries eventually dissolve. The primary dynamics are:

• Strong commitment to market-based solutions.


• High savings and commitment to education at the household level.


• High rates of investment and innovation in education, technology, and institutions at the national and international levels.


• International mobility of people, ideas, and technology.

That's roughly globalisation, the expansion of liberal capitalism to all corners of the globe over the next 93 years.
...

Energy and mineral resources are abundant in this scenario family because of rapid technical progress, which both reduces the resources needed to produce a given level of output and increases the economically recoverable reserves.

You see, resources are not a fixed thing.

This last sentence reminded me of an excellent post by Squander Two, opining upon this very subject.

Resources — of all kinds — are always limited. Everything we have means someone else doesn't have it, regardless of how altruistic we might be.

It is exasperating that so many people believe this. Those who do believe it don't even realise that there's a discussion to be had about it; they see it as self-evidently true that resources are limited.

But they aren't. The belief that they are stems from a misunderstanding of what "resources" means. People think it means "stuff". It doesn't.

Matter is limited. Energy is limited. (Though both are so huge that no mere human is ever going to get near those limits.) But resources are something else. To get resources, you take all the available matter and all the available energy, add them together, and then multiply the result by ingenuity. And ingenuity is infinite.

Precisely. So, what is Timmy's conclusion?

The end result of these trends is a world in 2100 where all regions of the world are enjoying, with some 7 billion people, the current middle class northern world existence. There are no shortages of anything.

Now it is also true that this is one of the high emissions scenarios, with a temperature rise greater than some of the other families of scenarios. But the trope that capitalism, or markets, or globalisation, cannot continue because we do not have the resources for this to lead to the poor becoming rich: well, we've got a great big bloody report that states precisely and exactly the opposite.

Remember, chaps, that blogs are inferior because the MSM writers check their facts properly, whereas we bloggers just fire from the hip, never support our arguments with evidence and, frankly, are simply not as reliable as the MSM.

So, fuck you Garton Ash and fuck the MSM.

J.I.S.M. Award #1

This week's J.I.S.M. (Journalist Indicating Stupid Mendacity) Award goes to Shari Low at the crap, Scottish rag known as The Daily Record, for this amazingly pathetic attempt to smear UKIP whilst ignoring some very salient points.

THIS week's esteemed P.I.S.H. award (Politician In Smoking Hypocrisy) is puffing its way across to Nigel Farage, MEP.

He's the leader of the UK Independence Party, who admitted to being one of the ministers who ignored the European Parliament's ban on smoking within its buildings, a revolt that was so widespread that the ban was scrapped after only 43 days.

Farage is a "minister" is he? Fuck me, there was I thinking that he was just a standard MEP. Wow! The things one learns from the MSM, eh?

According to Farage: "I don't want to be told by PC people what I can and cannot do."

Welcome to our world, Mr Farage.

He joins the long line of elected members whose self-serving arrogance is the equivalent of sticking two fingers up at the rest of us - and his two fingers are the ones clutching a Lambert and Butler.

Um, Shari, just how—precisely—is that hypocrisy? UKIP are against the smoking ban.

Now, depending where you stand on this argument, you may think that this is a good or bad thing but it is, never the less, entirely consistent with UKIP's libertarian principles. Further, Farage's attitude is entirely in tune with his principles and the principles that he and his party advocate. So, again, Shari, you fucking dunderhead, where is the hypocrisy here?

A richly deserved inaugural J.I.S.M. award, I think that you will agree.

On the upside, why not watch Farage pitted against Andrew Neil on Straight Talk?

What happens when politics, football and a notorious blogger collide?

Guano Forks, of course...

The government on an EU referendum

I have received an email warning me that "the Prime Minister" has replied to the petition for a referendum on Britain's membership of the EU. Like the rest of these petitions, the reply is a carefully worded "fuck off, you dirty little proles."

Under UK's constitutional arrangements, while the Government may make a recommendation, it is ultimately for Parliament to decide whether to hold a referendum on a particular issue.

And since all three parties are pro-EU (despite constant polls showing that the British people generally are not), that is never going to happen.
Fuck Off #1

Referendums in the UK are rare.

Just the way we like it.
Fuck Off #2

Parliament - the elected representatives of the British people -has the right to take important decisions on their behalf.

This is a representative democracy, despite the fact that the current majority party was elected by only 21.6% of the electorate.
Fuck Off #3

Despite the fact that not one of the three main parties are EUsceptic and that not one of them stood on a platform of withhdrawal, or even a referendum, and the British people had no choice but to vote for a pro-EU party (if they voted at all), this is definitely still a representative democracy, isn't it?
Fuck Off #4

This was the case when the UK joined the (then) European Economic Community (EEC) in 1973.

Heath—a fat, futile fool whose majority was considerably slimmer than his waistline and who gave away any advantage this country ever had, sold our Commonwealth partners down the river and made a move so unpopular that one of those "rare" referendums was forced shortly afterwards—was, never the less, a popular representative of the people's wishes.
Fuck Off #5

There was, of course, a referendum on UK membership of the EEC in 1975 because the Labour Government was committed to seeking the approval of the British people for the renegotiated terms of membership which it had obtained.

Since the Tories took us in and a good number of Labour MPs were opposed (including Tony Benn: on the right side, for once, but for entirely the wrong reasons), we were happy to hold a referendum which was voted in by anyone who is currently over the age of 50.

However, since we didn't want to actually lose the referendum, we smeared the antis- as loons and little Englanders. We also lied—as Heath did when he took this country into the EEC—as to the purpose of the organisation. We kept telling people that it was only a free market and not a project whose eventual aim was a European superstate.
Fuck Off #6

Thereafter, each Treaty change - notably the Single European Act and the Treaties of Maastricht, Amsterdam and Nice - has been ratified following the passing of an Act of Parliament.

We haven't held referendums on any of these Treaties as we weren't in power, but we were happy to let the Tories go ahead and ratify them. Although this was especially egregious in the case of Maastricht, when Major treated it as a vote of confidence, we are actually pretty pro- the whole idea, so get stuffed.
Fuck Off #7

Subject to Parliament's agreement, the Government has committed itself to a referendum on the Treaty establishing a Constitution for Europe before its ratification by the UK.

Indeed you did, Tony. In fact, at 3.30pm on Monday 21st June 2004, you committed to a referendum regardless of the results from any other countries. I quote:

Regardless of how other members vote, we will have a referendum on the subject.

So where is it?
Fuck Off #8

Following the 'no' votes in referendums in France and the Netherlands, however, the future of the Constitutional Treaty is now unclear.

No, it's not and you know it. You know precisely what is happening to the Treaty. Indeed, two people are in a position to know, Elaib spelt it out, as did Dan Hannan MEP.

The 27 heads of government will be asked to approve this plan at a dinner in Berlin next month. Shorn of its otiose paragraphs, the constitution will be less than half its present length. It will still specify the changes in national voting weights, the creation of an EU presidency and foreign minister, and a slight extension in majority voting. But the French and Dutch governments will claim that the new version is too trivial to warrant new referendums, as will the other governments that fear their Euro-sceptic publics: Sweden, Poland and Britain.

Are you seriously expecting us to believe that you, the Prime Minister, don't know all of this?
Fuck Off #9

And what of your promise of a referendum—and I'll say it again—"regardless of how other members vote"?

Geoff Hoon, the Europe minister, has confirmed that the Government's promise of a referendum on the constitution would not apply to a "mini-treaty".

Ah, it's not going to happen, despite the fact that this is still essentially a European Constitution, you are weaselling out of it by saying that it is not the Constitution.
Fuck Off #10

Well, Prime Minister; in those two paragraphs you have told us to fuck off not once, but ten times. So here's your humble Devil's message to you and all politicos: FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF.

And one for luck: FUCK OFF AND DIE.

A Right Royal Farce.

So, 1600 troops leave Iraq and are replaced by a member of the royal family. Now I'm no expect in either mathematics or the military, but by my calculations all we need is three and a half more Royals to cover the whole of Basra.

I'm sure nothing would strike fear into the hearts of Iraqi insurgents like a cavalry charge led by the British Sports Personality of the Year. Or maybe Charles could give a speech on organic farming methods and bore them to death...

Diddums to the Left

Via Iain Dale, Labour bloggers have got their panties in a bunch again.

Environment secretary and occasionally thought of as a potential party leader, David Miliband, has a blog. But it's hard to understand the latest updating of his blog and the almost total invisibility of the Labour leaning blogosphere in its design and links. Hey David....remember us!?

Miliband’s site links to 11 blogs:

1. 3 of these are to journalist sites such as Nick Robinson (former chair of the young conservatives);


2. four link to Conservative sites including tory boys Guido Fawkes and Iain Dale;


3. there is 1 Liberal Democrat link;


4. leaving a mere 3 links to Labour supporting sites.

It seems that the Lefty blogosphere is so full of dweebs, tosspots, idiots, bigots, cunts, wankers, Commies, dipsticks, arseholes and fuckwits that even Batshit doesn't want to link to them. Aaaaaahahahahahaha!

No, but seriously, my little Lefty loons, it's because Miliband doesn't really blog; although he writes his own entries (only someone as fuckwitted as he could write that shite), it is his staff who actually post them. Miliband himself is utterly unaware of any blogs that haven't been rammed down his webmaster's throat with a plunger.

Tell you what, loons, why don't you email you post to Miliband? Then his blog can become another one-stop shop for those of us who enjoy reading (and fisking) people who are bad, stupid and wrong...

The lighter side of terrorism

More joy from The Spine (although still not as good as David Cameron's rosette substitute)...

‘It was a holiday with plenty of adventure and lots of fun things to do,’ said the ever-professional presenter [Judith Chalmers], ‘but I would recommend that you book off season when the weather’s a little cooler and there’s less chance you’ll be rigged up to ten pounds of semtex and detonated in a busy street.’

Well, it amused me: someone remind me why Private Eye haven't snaffled this chap yet...