Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV. Show all posts

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Quote of the day...

... comes from a somewhat disillusioned Blue Eyes.
As much as I hate the left in general and the Labour party in particular, at least they have the confidence to stand up and defend the disastrous policies they have implemented. When Brown says “same old Tories” why does Cameron not reply “what, you mean the ones who took a basket-case of a country and turned it back into a dynamic thriving country”?

And he asks all of the questions that I would have, personally. Although I think that I know the answer to why Cameron doesn't call Brown out on the "£6 billion out of the economy" bollocks—Dave is planning to use that line when he spanks us all for more tax.

I don't know—here I am, trying to clean up my act and yet the politicians insist on existing. It's like being a smack addict living in an opium den...

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Oh, dear fucking hell: noooooo...

Some things are just too horrible to contemplate...
Britain's Got Talent unearths a "young Mick Hucknall" during the latest auditions...

Stop this evil now...!

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Top Gear: smoking!

I can't find it on BBC iPlayer and cannot thus show you the relevent clip, but on BBC2 they are currently showing a Best Of Top Gear episode. It is the episode in which the three are challenged to build amphibious cars that will cross the Channel.

However, when introducing the piece in the studio, the three are pretending—yes, that is pretending, mark you—to smoke pipes. And guess what...?

Yes, the Beeb have graciously showed the presenters holding their pipes but whenever one of them places the pipe in his mouth, the BBC has pixellated out the offending screen area and placed, in the bottom middle of the screen, a big notice saying...
CENSORED

I mean, seriously, what the fucking fuck? Can we expect the same in any programme that features smoking—any re-runs of Life On Mars, for instance?

Or is it merely pre-watershed that smoking is so evil that even the simulation of it must be hidden away from the innocent kiddies?

Absolutely un-fucking-believable.

UPDATE: In the comments, IanPJ says that there might be another motive behind this, a rather more noble motive.
I understand from a source that must remain nameless that this is the doing of Jeremy himself.

It is his way of taking the piss out of all the people who complained when the original episode went out.

Never one to miss an opportunity to take a pop at the bansturbators in our midst is our Jeremy.

If this is the case, apologies to the Beeb and many, many kudos to Clarkson (who, if this is true, might actually be on his way to becoming something of a hero of mine)...

UPDATE 2: I've found the clip...


Perhaps it's obvious that it's a joke but I think that the point could have been made a little more comprehensively, for those who do not follow the programme on a regular basis...

Sunday, July 27, 2008

I tried, I really did

Via Matt Sinclair, here's A A Gill ripping into the Beeb's latest load of crap, Burn Up. [Emphasis mine.]
Imagine writing this: “It is my belief we are standing on the very edge of history.” Having written it, what would a normal, sensitive, moderately intelligent person do? Well, 99% of us wouldpush the delete button with a faint shiver or tear up the piece of paper so that the young and impressionable couldn’t read it. We understand that it’s utter bilge, but, you see, that’s why we’re not scriptwriters. It takes a very special person to write that sentence and think: “Yes, high five, nice job, really profound! What shall I do next?”
...

Watching it was a bit like being manacled to the table at a Notting Hill dinner party, or being lectured by a vegan vitamin salesman.

The finger-wagging about global warming was relentless and unabating, all couched in the comfy velour of the edge-of-history and watershed gibberish. The goodies were witty, brilliant, sensitive, imaginative, attractive, sexy and great dancers - rather, I suspect, like the scriptwriters. The baddies were, well,they were all American. This was film-making from the Soviet school of political subtlety, a childishly black-and-white premise, delivered with a patronising blog of a script, which overwhelmed the plot, pace, anything resembling a character and, finally, the audience’s sympathy.

I tried watching it this evening; believe me, it wasn't even that good. I only got half way through the first episode and had to switch it off before I tore out my eyes and stuck knitting-needles through my ear-drums.

Here's another good review of the piece of shit, and Matt Sinclair also destroys the fantasy.
Stephen Garrett, a spokesman for Kudos Film and Television who made Burn Up, was quoted in the BBC press release for the show describing it as "a potent cocktail of fiction and fact that we hope will enlighten as much as it will entertain". This programme can't be assessed just as harmless fiction. It is political propaganda and should be understood as such.

Indeed it is: and, like most propaganda, it was absolute bullshit, lies dressed up as pretty actors peddling plausibility.

Burn Up was unmitigated shite of the very first oil water...

UPDATE: Another good quote from Matt...
Burn Up isn't really trying to enlighten people but, like Al Gore's film, to create an emotional reaction. To scare people so that rational and measured debate over policy can safely be avoided, so that proper scrutiny of policy can be written off as irresponsible and immoral.

That pretty much sums up the entirety of the pro-catastrophic climate change lobby.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Mock The Week: Dinner Party

Further to my recent fawning over Frankie Boyle, the world's finest living teetotal (apparently) glasses-wearing Glaswegian comedianTM, here's the relevant clip of yer man doing his stuff alongside Hugh Dennis and Ed Byrne.


"I hope no one's allergic to nuts..."

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Amusement

I have mentioned previously that I find Frankie Boyle tremendously amusing. Tonight's gem finished off Mock The Week and was a response to "something that would change the atmosphere at a dinner party."
"There is a vegetarian option: you can fuck off."

Although I also enjoyed Hugh Dennis's...
"Well, isn't this nice? I say, let's all raise a glass... TO ZE FUHRER!"

Well, I laughed...

Friday, May 02, 2008

"You started it, pet."

Via Guy News, here's Richard Littlejohn, on last night's QuestionTime, slapping darling Polly like the little bitch that she is...


"Do you think about global warming when you're flying to your villa in Italy?"

Absolutely class...

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Quote of the Day

John Redwood is deeply irritated by the bullying tactics employed by the BBC when trying to extract licence fee money from those without a TV. The whole post is good, but I particularly liked this line.
Their inspectors will, of course, be wasting their time in my case, as I am most unlikely to be in any time they call, unless I am to experience the knock at the door at 2 am, to confirm that I am living in a version of the Soviet Union circa 1960.

Nice. I might pinch it...

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Your tax money at work...

Via Vindico, it seems that our telly-tax funded BBC has an exciting new project.
The BBC has launched a new Arabic language TV channel.

The channel is free to everyone in North Africa and the Middle East with a satellite or cable connection.

Right. And since nothing comes for free, who the hell is paying for it?
The service is the BBC's first publicly-funded international TV service.

It has an annual budget of US $50m (UK £25m). This comes partly from a UK government grant, and partly from BBC World Service funds freed up by the closure of radio services, mainly to Eastern Europe.

Oh, right. Well, next time you pay your £135 (or whatever it is now) TV-tax, you can feel all warm and righteous because you are allowing the BBC to entertain people in the Middle East with £25 million per annum of your money.

And, of course, it is our money that allows the BBC to put local channels, which can't extort funds from the British people, at a competitive disadvantage, just as the Beeb does over here.

Isn't it nice that the BBC can be so generous with your cash?

UPDATE: this is one of those cases in which I am happy to admit that I have called this one wrong. Unity explains why.

Friday, March 07, 2008

I am forced to agree

The Bill is not a programme that I watch on a regular basis—unless I know that one of my actor friends is on it (every aspiring actor has to be on The Bill at some point, even if only in the part of Bollard No.1)—but I do know that it is a fictional programme.

I am also aware that not only do TV stations have some pretty strict rules about the advertising of branded products but also that the manufacturers of those products are usually highly circumspect about how those brand names are used.

Unfortunately, far too many of the British public are both stupid and ignorant.
ITV1 drama The Bill has been criticised as "grossly irresponsible" for making up the name of a drug to treat multiple sclerosis (MS) in a recent programme.

The episode, broadcast on Wednesday, featured an MS patient being told about a fictional drug, Plavitron, which could alleviate MS symptoms.

"It was grossly irresponsible of The Bill to make up a drug," said MS Society spokesman Chris Bentley.
...

"There are few effective treatments for MS and any mention of a new drug generates a lot of hope and excitement in people living with and affected by the condition," said Mr Bentley.

"People with MS have a tough enough time as it is without being misled over treatments," he added.

They weren't being misled, Chris, because it is a fucking fictional fucking show, you arse. And so, I am forced to concur with Right For Scotland's assessment of this lunacy.
Oh the fucking trauma of watching a made up story in a made up police station and finding out the MS treatment featured was...made up. What kind of bunch of soft brained fuckwits not only think what they see on primetime drama is real but that they then have the front to complain that they are fucking thick.

"Excuse me. I am a retard and was fooled by the Bill. Shame on them".

No. Fuck off. You are a dickhead. You are so fucking stupid it is a minor miracle you have the brain capacity to draw breath.

Mind you, MS affects the central nervous system which includes the brain, so I suppose that it may not be entirely their fault.


And before anyone starts lambasting me for my lack of sympathy, when you have had an MS patient that you have been looking after—for twelve hours a day, six days a week, for over a year—die in your arms as you are washing them, then you can call me an unsympathic monster.

And I will still deride people for being thick. Next up: why the hell can't spastics at least eat neatly?

Monday, February 04, 2008

Coast

One of your humble Devil's guilty pleasures is a little-known BBC2 programme called Coast [iPlayer link]. It's fronted by an ebullient Scot (Glaswegian, I think), Neil Oliver, who brings the almost mystical enthusiasm to the study of Britain's coastline that only a Scot could possibly embue to such a programme.

Coast has been going for some time and, if you want to know just how fantastic and diverse this wee island of ours is, I highly recommend it. They examine local rock formations, industries, engineering, history and culture in a way that makes you appreciate how amazing this country is. (And I fucking love the Scots, as I've said before.)

Watch them—they're just wee fifteen minute shorts; you won't regret it.

Friday, November 30, 2007

QuestionTime is crap

I watched QuestionTime this evening; every time that I watch it, I wish that I hadn't, to be honest. Amongst other things, I find Dimbleby's smug fucking face a real irritation; taken in conjunction with his utterly unjustified air of omniscience—hey! Dimbleby! His name is Irving not Irvine—and his habit of letting guests balls on about nothing without telling them to shut the fuck up, it all adds up to a presenter who really grips my shit. And that's before we get onto the politicians or the audience.

I watched tonight's edition because UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, was on the programme; and I wasn't the only one who thought that he was effetively sidelined.
UKIP hadn't been on Question Time for 8 months, whereas in the same time, Peter Hain had been on four times, Ming Campbell four times, the token ethnic lady from the Tories was on again and again, a historian was on 4 times, there were 8 Daily Mail journalists on, and the same faces popping up again and again. The producer on QT said that they were 'booked up until Christmas' but after an angry phone call from the party, a reluctant Jenny Parks, who used to produce a sunday TV programme which UKIP were never invited on, said there was space for Nigel Farage this evening. Interestingly, they had not confirmed the panel for this evening until earlier today.

I hear that the producer refused to speak to him all evening and Dimbleby himself was very off hand, when previously he had been pleasant. I was not the only one to notice the was that Nigel was very much slighted by the BBC in what they clearly wanted to be a party political broadcast by the Labour Party. Why else would they have two Brown supporters on, including the nasty Paul Myners who donates money to the man who robs your old age and of course is a trustee of the Smith Institute.

Paul Myners is also, of course, "Chair of the Guardian Media Group, publisher of The Guardian and The Observer newspapers". And he was heartily pro-government: well, what a fucking surprise. And let's just say that I do not intend to take any lessons in political integrity from anyone who is a Trustee of Gordon's Private Thinktank The Smith Institute.

One thing that I did notice, amongst all the discussion over NuLabour's donation problems [snigger], was that Dimbleby absolutely refused to discuss the issue of state funding of political parties; oh, he allowed a couple of comments from both guests and audience members who were in favour of it, but refused to brook any real discussion—except, eventually, when it was forced by Farage. Even then it was a desultry affair, especially as Farage was anti- and pointed out that the other parties—no matter how much Alan Duncan may have protested his own personal disavowal—were very much pro-the taxpayer propping up their ailing finances.

Why should Dimbleby want to gloss over the arguments against state-funding? Could it be because the Beeb is... er... state-funded? As the old saying goes, I think we should be told.

But the rest of it? Sarah Teather came across as a boring, clueless arse, barely able to comprehend what was going on. She looks like she should be a Little Miss, although her greatest resemblance is as a dowdier Tara Fitzgerald, especially in the latter's role as the slightly buck-toothed and (initially) po-faced priest's wife in Sirens; I wonder if Sarah is as sexually-charged as Estella turns out to be...?

Alan Duncan was, in general, sound and actually rather impressive on the Oxford Union free speech issue; he did at least say that he would take part in a debate with Irving and Griffin.

This was in sharp contrast to Caroline Flint—her rat-trap mouth surely makes her one of the ugliest women in politics, by the way—who spent an awful lot of time blethering stridently about the importance of free speech and who then said she wouldn't take part in a debate with the terrible two; hardly surprising, really, that a NuLabour minister should feel themselves inadequately mentally and idealoically equipped to deal with Griffin and Irving. In the main, she came across as a total bitch who would not shut the fuck up, even when she had nothing to say; something that made Dimbleby's fawning praise and thanks for her "being the only Labour minister to stick their head above the parapet" even more revoltingly servile.

And that's all that there is to say; a typical BBC programme, with an overpaid and underworked presenter fawning pathetically at the feet of the government. I nearly threw the TV out of the window, only I couldn't guarantee that it'd hit anyone worthwhile.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

If anyone is wondering at the relative lack of swearing, my current calm is caused by my re-discovery of Centrifugal Force.

Normal service will be resumed in an hour or so...

UPDATE: BBC 2 told me that "Thursdays are funny" and yet now Graham Norton is on. Now I'm angry: they lied to me...

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Do you ever watch something and think, "yeah, I'm that cool character", and then realise you aren't? I have been watching a lot of That 70s Show lately—as I have opined before, Donna is just absolutely lovely: she reminds me of one of my exes—and I really like to think that I'm Hyde because he is just so fucking cool.

But, secretly, I have this sneaking suspicion that I am actually Eric, with an added alcohol problem.

And, now, onto things that piss me off...