BLACK DOG: Balls and Miliband, a laughable pair of Ed cases
Ed Balls took time out from his Strictly Come Dancing stint to mock old boss Ed Miliband after Election watchdogs rapped Labour over his notorious 'Ed Stone'. 'If people didn't believe he was going to be tough on immigration or the deficit, carving it in stone wasn't going to solve the problem,' said Balls. 'It was vacuous and was laughed at.' Just like Ed's performance on Strictly...
Ed Balls took time out from his Strictly Come Dancing stint to mock old boss Ed Miliband
Heathrow martyr Zac Goldsmith's lame Commons response to Transport Secretary Chris Grayling's third runway decision – 'I have so many questions I don't know where to start' – brings to mind Dog's lunch with Zac a while ago. After spending three hours hearing him fail to explain his latest eco brainwave, my phone trilled later: 'Hi, it's Zac. I just wanted to clarify something I said over the asparagus...' Zzzzz...
For once in Theresa May's Cabinet, Philip Hammond – whose Runnymede constituency is only five miles from Heathrow – was the dog that didn't bark in the airport row. A source close to Hammond, a regular thorn in May's side over Brexit, reveals: 'The new runway is conveniently situated at the only part of the airport that will not cause more noise in Phil's patch – so he was happy to keep quiet this time.' Note the 'this time'.
Blonde blogger Serena Cowdy, 36
Proud Stewy shows off his squeeze...
Five months after 53-year-old Stewart Hosie left his wife after becoming involved in a 'love triangle' with fellow Scottish National MP Angus MacNeil and blonde blogger Serena Cowdy, 36, victorious Hosie has appeared with his new squeeze in Westminster for the first time since the scandal. Their tactile display in a Commons bar suggests it is hat-eating time for cynics who said 'Stewy' and Serena wouldn't last….
Reading from his diaries on the BBC, Alan Bennett recounts a No 10 reception when Gordon Brown was PM. Roguish Labour warhorse Denis Healey bowled up to Bennett, 82, who was with partner and interior designer Rupert Thomas, 33 years his junior, and asked, 'Is this your young man?' Healey was followed by 'tousled' host Brown who told the playwright: 'You're an institution.' Bennett mused: 'What he meant was, I wasn't in one.'
Lock out for Danczuk
Controversial MP Simon Danczuk, who has split from 'selfie queen' wife Karen, is in a reflective mood as he faces a showdown with Jeremy Corbyn tomorrow over being suspended from Labour for 'sexting' a teenage girl. Danczuk rues the cost of two marriage failures: 'I have an impressive portfolio of properties. I'm just not allowed to go in any of them'.
John Bercow's rant against Tory MP James Cleverly for heckling Jeremy Corbyn prompted a nonchalant response from Army reservist Cleverly: 'You can spend hours preparing and delivering a weighty Commons speech on the future of mankind and nobody notices. Get bawled out by Mr Speaker at PMQs and the world and his wife knows who you are.'
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