Pauline Hanson, who is almost certainly not an LL Cool J fan, nonetheless staged a magnificent comeback in 2016.Credit: Andrew Meares
The election was of Proustian length, but had less elevated themes
Jollier times: Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull celebrates Christmas at the Wayside Chapel in 2015.Credit: Nick Moir
The election campaign, which culminated in the nation reluctantly re-instating Malcolm Turnbull as Prime Minister, was loudly decried as too long and too boring.
It was as though, after years of enduring "interesting" politics – in the nasty sense meant by the ancient Chinese curse – providence rewarded us with eight weeks of election campaign blather about jobs, growth and agility.
The only frisson came in the form of a late-breaking "Mediscare" campaign from the Labor Opposition.
The Labor campaign deployed text messages and robocalls, which falsely claimed the Coalition wanted to privatise Medicare.
Bill Shorten terrified a few pensioners with his Mediscare campaign during the 2016 election.Credit: Alex Ellinghausen
It was scary, negative and effective – the Coalition bled votes in western Sydney, Turnbull was only able to form a one-seat majority government, and he has been in a weak position since.
Shorten was widely regarded as a good campaigner but Turnbull was seen as a touch languorous. The Coalition also seemed to get its polling terribly wrong, although in fairness, there was a lot of that going around in 2016.
Illustration: John Shakespeare
The take-out from the Liberal campaign, which Turnbull himself reportedly propped up with a donation of a coupla million bucks, was that they needed to go more negative next time.
So that was a win for civil debate.
Malcolm, where did you go?
It was the strangest thing. As soon as Malcolm Turnbull was elected, he seemed to disappear.
People who remembered the economic reform-advocating, ABC-loving, climate change-believing, gay marriage-supporting hepcat in the leather jacket were left bewildered.
As the year trudged on, Turnbull capitulated on tax reform, superannuation reform and a proper review into climate change policy.
He even attacked his old pal Leigh Sales on 7.30 as being part of the "media elite".
Which was rather rich coming from someone, so, well, rich.
Turnbull did deliver serious savings to the budget, some curtailed superannuation reforms (the same reforms he initially said were "iron-clad"), and the construction industry regulation legislation that was the subject of the double dissolution election (remember that?).
But the parliamentary year ended with many wondering whether the Prime Minister has a plan for what he wants to achieve with his term in office.
Many also hope the famously loquacious PM will employ fewer sub-clauses in his sentences in 2017.
The beautiful flowering of George Christensen and the Coalition's right wing
Turnbull's weak majority has emboldened his internal enemies, the Coalition's hard-right, to critique him publicly and pressure him privately.
The poster boy for that right-wing is the Member for Dawson, George Christensen, whose unlikely celebrity status was only strengthened by the retina-traumatising photographic portrait of him in a singlet, handling a stock whip.
Poor Eric Abetz was quite upstaged.
But although different in style, the two men are the pillars of a powerful bloc within the Coalition which is enjoying clover days.
They forced the Prime Minister to back down on superannuation reform and they kicked up a fuss over the anti-bullying Safe Schools program, which they said was brain-washing kiddies with homosexual propaganda.
Christensen sought to prove this point by quoting aloud a lengthy tract from the Safe Schools materials on "penis-tucking" to the Coalition party room.
Eventually the Prime Minister begged him to stop – but Christensen's power to cross the floor of parliament on any number of issues, means that penis-tucking is the least of Turnbull's troubles in 2017.
Rise of One Nation
As LL Cool J once rapped: "Don't call it a comeback/I've been here for years."
Pauline Hanson, who is almost certainly not an LL Cool J fan, nonetheless staged a magnificent comeback in 2016, taking four Senate seats and thereby placing herself at the centre of all the government's cross-bench negotiations.
Sadly, One Nation's West Australian member, Rod Culleton, proved to be what showbiz types call "a difficult talent to manage". He quit the party in December.
A few months previously, Culleton gave the year's greatest press conference to answer questions over a High Court challenge to the legitimacy of his election.
Following that he engaged in ever more desperate attention-seeking behaviour, much of it involving his legal travails, which read like a Frankenstein-ish hybrid of a Kafka novel and The Castle.
But with typical Hanson brio, the lady-senator hauled back control of the narrative with an end-of-year trip to the Barrier Reef to prove reports of climate change-induced coral bleaching have been much exaggerated.
Hanson crowed about the electoral victory of Donald Trump and has struck terror into the hearts of Queensland's Liberal National Party, which fears how many seats she could steal at the next Queensland state election.
Hanson can toast her very successful year with non-Halal champagne.
Tax reform? Sure! Just kidding, we're all too scared
Turnbull began his year with what was billed as a free-style gab about tax reform.
The vibe was totally Let's just throw some ideas around, guys!
As Turnbull said: "We have got to be able to consider policy options in an unfettered way…we've got to have the maturity to have a debate that is not throwing things off the table."
But the prospect of a GST hike, which many economists believe is a key part of beneficial tax reform, was quickly killed by the Prime Minister.
A similar process occurred with the end of year announcement of the Coalition's review of climate change policy, which would look at carbon pricing schemes, said Energy Minister Josh Frydenberg.
Actually no, it wouldn't, Turnbull quickly announced, following a half-day of outrage from his backbench over the horrendous prospect of examining the one emissions-reduction policy every expert seems to agree is credible.
Tax reform without the GST, and climate change policy sans carbon pricing – it's like asking Picasso to paint a nice picture but to please refrain from using the colour blue.
Get used to seeing a lot of red, yellow and white, come 2017.
Lessons in how not to snipe from the sidelines, by Tony Abbott
When he was knocked off by Turnbull in September 2015, Abbott said there would be "no wrecking, no undermining and no sniping".
His use of the passive tense was perhaps telling – he never said he wouldn't wreck, undermine or snipe.
Whatever his grammatical escape clause, Abbott has spent at least 70 per cent of his year chirping up with helpful ideas from the backbench.
He is a little like the smart alec at the back of the class who keeps answering questions that were not directed at him.
He has weighed in on climate change, welfare reform, the US elections, Liberal party reform and Turnbull's Cabinet (it needs to include Tony, says Tony).
He even did a fun YouTube video with Pauline Hanson where he made up with her over that awkward incident in the '90s when he tried to have her jailed.
Turnbull would probably like to throw a blackboard duster at Abbott's head but has so far refrained from a public confrontation.
Bill Shorten scares pensioners but defies expectations
Bill Shorten's ongoing struggle with what we will respectfully call his "phrasing" has not taken away from what has been a good year for the Opposition leader.
He came from woeful polling in 2015 to nearly steal the election from his opponent.
And if the Opposition leader terrified a few pensioners along the way with his Mediscare campaign, so be it.
In fact, terrifying pensioners worked out so well that the Labor-aligned ACTU has recently reprised the tactic with robocalls about pension cuts.
Not bad for a bloke who almost succumbed to his party's fatal Chucking Disease in February of this year, when the wolves were circling him.
****
Politics in 2016 may have been disappointing to many, but promise remains for 2017.
Will the Prime Minister rediscover his vision? Will Bill Shorten cast his eye beyond pensioners to stoke fear among other vulnerable social groups? Will Rod Culleton make the new Chief Justice of the High Court cry? Who will George Christensen crack his stock whip at next?
Parliament resumes on February 7.