The most shocking thing about Mariah Carey's New Year's Eve lip-sync train wreck is that anyone found it shocking at all. Not because it wasn't remarkable – it was, in the way it managed to be both shameful and utterly shameless at the same time – but because she's done it so many times before.
Mariah Carey fakes it, and fakes it badly? Yawn. That's so 2013. And 2014. And 2015. And, obviously, it's so, so, so December 31, 2016.
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Mariah Carey: Lip-sync master?
After being captured lip-syncing many times, Mariah Carey's New Year's Eve performance almost feels expected.
Her management has tried to shift the blame for her performance, in which she gave up even pretending to sing or dance, by complaining about faulty earpieces and deliberate "sabotage" by the telecast's producers. But it's time to tell it like it is: Mariah, girl, you ain't fooling no one.
It should be obvious to all but the most one-eared fan that Mariah Carey's voice isn't what it was, even if she is still packing them in on tour and in Las Vegas, where she winds up a two-year residency at Caesar's Palace in May. The entire edifice of her fame rests on the memory of a fabled five-octave range and "whistle pitch", that high trilled note that, to the non-fan, sits just this side of a horror movie victim's piercing death scream.
Of course, Mariah Carey's influence on pop music is enormous. We can blame her for the rise of those melismatic singers who add a dozen syllables to the word "love" and stretch it over 12 bars.
We can blame her for the proliferation of big-hair, big-voice, big-pain wannabe pop stars on TV talent shows. Hell, we can probably blame her for the entire Idol, X-Factor, Voice phenomenon.
The 1990s belonged to Carey, who received the 'artist of the millennium' award in Monaco in May 2000. Photo: Lionel Cironneau
But her best years were in the 1990s. Even in 2001, when Virgin signed her to a $US80 million four-album contract, the label was buying a legacy not a future, even if they didn't know it at the time. The penny dropped the following year, following the flop of her film debut Glitter and its accompanying soundtrack. As Carey struggled through an emotional breakdown, the record label bought her contract out for $US28 million, one of the biggest single-artist losses in the history of music.
Back in 2002, a review of Carey's Greatest Hits album noted that "at 32, she is already a living legend – even if she never sings another note". Maybe she should have taken the hint.
There's no shame in being past your prime. But there is – or should be – enormous shame in not bothering to put in the effort that might compensate for the fact, especially when you're still charging punters like a wounded bull to watch you barely go through the motions.
Lip-syncing used to be reserved for TV shows like Top of the Pops and Countdown, where it occasionally drew aggressive responses from the performers (most notably The Smiths and Nirvana in the case of the former, and Iggy Pop and Cold Chisel in the latter) who found it an insult to the notion of live musical performance. But increasingly it has, for better or (mostly) worse, become a part of actual live performance.
The film Glitter, derided as a total vanity project, marked the beginning of a long downturn for Carey.
When a pre-recorded vocal provides a "guide" track for a performer you might consider it a necessary evil in a stadium full of screaming fans, where foldback is little more than wishful thinking. But when the backing track takes over centre stage – as it has most famously done with the likes of Britney Spears and Milli Vanilli – you have to wonder what is the point of this sort of "live" performance at all. Clearly, it's not the singing.
Of course, some modern concerts are difficult to distinguish from Vegas-style shows: the singing is just one part of the spectacle, and in some eyes (and ears) it is more important for it to be accurate (ie, as it sounds on the record) than true (ie, live). One might even argue this represents the ultimate victory of drag, whose influence is writ large on the likes of Britney Spears' and Kylie Minogue's live shows, for instance.
![Iggy Pop performs I'm Bored on Countdown in 1979.](http://web.archive.org./web/20170103162859im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/t/l/2/m/h/image.imgtype.articleLeadwide.620x349.png/1483400603342.png)
Iggy Pop performs I'm Bored on Countdown in 1979. Photo: screen grab
And maybe that's what has happened with Mariah Carey. Maybe she's just gone all Vegas on us, and lost sight of the fact that it was her voice that got her where she is. God knows, it isn't her dancing; despite all the low-cut booty suits and glitter, it's doubtful a less dynamic performer has ever been seen outside a CWA Christmas revue.
But I think something else is to blame here.
I think the woman is just plain rude. She disdains her audience, and has long since abandoned any notion of it being a two-way relationship, one in which she puts in some effort and receives love and adulation (and, of course, riches aplenty) in return.
Appearing on the talk show Ellen in November, Carey was grilled over her habitual lateness. Host Ellen De Generes – who confessed to being a punctuality freak – was clearly irked by a recent instance in which Carey had taken the stage two hours later than advertised.
"You were two hours late," she said.
"But I wasn't," Carey replied. "Ok, this annoyed me. What happened was, there was a time change, right…"
"For the rehearsal?"
"No," said Carey. "I don't even go to rehearsal sometimes."
![I think I got away with it: Mariah Carey 'sings' at the New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square, New York.](http://web.archive.org./web/20170103162859im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/t/k/i/i/w/image.imgtype.articleLeadwide.620x349.png/1483401685890.png)
I think I got away with it: Mariah Carey 'sings' at the New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square, New York. Photo: Greg Allen/AP
That tallies with what has been reported in the wake of her NYE fiasco – that Carey sent a double to rehearsal in her place.
"What happened," Carey continued on Ellen, "was nobody told me there was a time change between the two countries we were going to. So we were an hour late but it wasn't my fault because technically speaking 'the artist' is supposed to be, like, told what time they're going to be on stage." (Those are my italics, for emphasis.)
"Sure," said Ellen. "That's one instance. But I'm talking about all the other times."
"Half the time it's not even my fault, and I'm telling the truth."
Seriously. This is a woman of 46, who has made hundreds of millions of dollars from recording and performing, admitting she can't be bothered rehearsing, who says she can't be held responsible for not turning up on time, who doesn't even pretend to sing any more? That's not a relationship, it's abuse.
Mariah Carey, read my lips: it's a no from me.
Your time is up. Please leave the stage, and take all those other lip-syncers with you.
Karl Quinn is on facebook at karlquinnjournalist and on twitter @karlkwin
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