Dearest parent,
Here are my New Year's Resolutions. I can't promise I'll keep them - I'm still working through a few issues, clearly - but I'll give them a shot. Sometimes. Maybe. Look, at least I've considered them.
1. I'll try to be a better friend
I like Ethan. I really do. But sometimes I like to grab the toy he's holding and have a turn before he's finished. I can't help it. It just looks like too much fun. Unfortunately, he never seems very pleased with my actions.
So next year I'll try to wait until he's finished playing before I have a go.
Oh, unless the toy looks really fun to play with. Then all bets are off, my friend.
2. I'll keep my hands to myself
Apparently there's this thing called 'personal space'. I don't understand what either of those words mean, so colour me pink if you think I have any idea what they mean when put together.
All I know is that Lily's headband is super shiny and I would like it in my hands, now please.
But I get the feeling you don't love it when I try to touch other people all the time. So fine, I'll try to keep my hands to myself.
As long as you can stop everyone else wearing things that make me want to touch them, okay?
3. I'll develop a better relationship with food
My relationship with food is a bit hot and cold. Sometimes, I can't wait to eat. Other times, the mere sight of food will upset me.
Sometimes I lurve one food with unbelievable force, but the next day I can't handle the thought that the same food even exists.
Why am I like this? Dunno. Maybe I'll work on this in the New Year. Then again, maybe not.
4. I'll develop a better relationship with the car
You seem to like the car, and I understand its appeal. Whenever I get out of the car I realise we have arrived somewhere new and I get a chance to explore something different. I like that.
What I don't like is getting into the car. There are always a gazillion other things I'd rather do than get in the car.
I'm not quite sure you understand that, so I try to tell you as politely as possible.
I'll either go stiff as a board, flail about crazily, or try to manouevre my way out of the car between your arms. Really, I'm giving you as many hints as possible and you still don't seem to get the fact that I hate getting in the car.
I guess one way around it would be to develop a better relationship with the car. I could try to remember that I always like it when we go somewhere new.
But now that I think about it, that actually seems like a lot of work. Maybe not.
5. I'll dance like there's no one's watching and love like there's no tomorrow
Nah, just kidding. I do that anyway. What can I say? It just comes naturally to me.
I love dancing, so I dance.
I love you, so I show you affection as often as I can.
Look, to be honest, I don't really have any New Year's Resolutions. I'm quite happy with how things are going and I hope to go to sleep on New Year's Eve and wake up to much of the same on New Year's Day.
Actually, maybe I'll wake up just a tad earlier, because I'm sure you're going to be super excited to see me first thing in the morning after New Year's Eve.
In fact, I might start waking up earlier in general. Now there's a resolution I can stick to …
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