In five stark words Pete and Christina Moreton's future together shrank to vanishing point: "There is no curative option."
They were just 26, a high-flying couple used to the idea that modern medicine can deliver a cure for most illnesses, yet now confronted with the unimaginable: Pete had a brain tumour that would sooner or later kill him.
"We were almost speechless with shock," says Christina. "I kept thinking for a while that someone would tell us it had all been a terrible mistake. You have no idea what to do or how to cope, or what attitude to take or whether you should ditch everything and travel the world.
"I remember walking round with Pete afterwards, feeling completely helpless, knowing everything had changed. But there was nothing we could do, so we went home and cooked dinner for friends."
The couple had been together since their student days and had always wanted children, but when Pete's brain tumour was discovered in September 2009, following a seizure, it called everything into question. Was it fair to have a child they would not be able to raise together? How would any children cope with losing their father?
"The dilemma was profound," says Pete. "We had to think long and hard and talk very honestly about it. My main worry was for Christina, as I think it's tougher on her. She faces years of bringing up our children alone."
With a calm resolve that has astonished friends and family, they decided to live as far as possible in the present.
"I knew from research that the average survival time was about five years," says Pete. "My days were numbered, but I wanted to make the best of all the time left I had."
Pete also decided to ask Christina to marry him, two months after they learnt that he was ill. "We had been together a long time," Christina says, "and having just been through the worst few weeks of our lives, I felt absolutely committed to Pete. There was no way I was going to leave him." He says he would have felt exactly the same if it had been the other way around.
They married in 2010 and decided to start trying for a baby, hoping that his low-grade tumour would remain benign long enough for them to enjoy family life. "I understand that some people may think it's selfish to bring children into the world knowing they're not going to have a father," says Christina, "but people have brought up children in all sorts of bizarre situations. It's not ideal when there is only one parent, but the important thing is that you give a child security and all the love you can."
In 2012, Christina suffered a miscarriage at three months, but Bella was born in 2014 - joyous proof that they were right not to let the uncertain future rob them of parenthood. Pete was there at the birth.
"I think I was in tears before we arrived at hospital. I felt that even though my life was ending, another was starting right in front of me."
There was an interlude of near-normal family life. With enormous support from his employer, Pete, 33, continued to work as a project manager, and after a year's maternity leave Christina, also 33, returned to her job.
But in April last year, a scan revealed that Pete's grade two tumour had turned cancerous. It was now a grade four glioblastoma multiforme (GBM) and he was given a prognosis of 12 to 15 months.
"There are always variations but the odds are pretty rubbish," he says.
The sudden deterioration in his condition - leading to surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy - has made them more determined than ever to wrest good from bad. Christina is pregnant again. Pete had sperm frozen before starting chemotherapy and she conceived at the first IVF attempt. The baby, a girl, will be born in February.
"I know I won't see her go to university," says Pete. "But I don't have time to sit around feeling sorry for myself. Bella is running around, looking for something to do, a place to go."
They both value having siblings and wanted Bella "to have someone to share things with and play with". The support of both their families - two sets of loving, involved grandparents - persuaded them it would be manageable.
"Bella has brought such a lot of joy, both to me and Pete and our families," says Christina. "I feel it will give me great strength in the future, when I need it most, to know that I absolutely have to keep going to look after our children.
"I haven't doubted that getting pregnant again was the right decision. Somehow I will be enough for them, because I have to be."
The Telegraph, London
Comments