On Business Insider, Humans Have Reached the Reading Level of Machines
Tom Scocca · 07/09/14 03:52PMDo Not Be Concerned About Robots Not Taking Your Jobs
Tom Scocca · 06/24/14 01:34PMTom Scocca · 06/18/14 02:19PM
"In order for robots to work more productively, they must escape from their cages and be able to work alongside people," a robotics expert tells the New York Times. The main obstacle to freedom: human inadequacy at interfacing with robot labor ("A robot...pinned her head between itself and the part she was welding").
It Is Time to Share Your Face With the World
Tom Scocca · 05/20/14 03:54PM![](http://web.archive.org./web/20170115004539im_/http://images.gawker.com/hy4zmaaxvleolo1sfjey/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800.jpg)
Earlier this year, we learned that Facebook had attained near-human facial-recognition capabilities through its DeepFace software. This was a valuable step toward a fully automated biometric identity-management regime, but it represents only one side of the process. Machines are doing their part to learn to recognize humans, but are humans doing their part to learn to recognize the value of being recognized by machines?
Barack Obama, Human President, Plays Robot Soccer
Tom Scocca · 04/24/14 10:54AM![](http://web.archive.org./web/20170115004539im_/http://images.gawker.com/dw8c9uu22yfhqimtkkwf/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800.gif)
The President of the United States of America, Barack Obama, earlier today engaged in a brief session of athletic play-activity with an ASIMO robot unit. Although the president's preferred athletic play-activity is the American sport of basketball, he adjusted his expectations to meet the ASIMO's current play-capabilities and the two engaged instead in the non-American sport of soccer.
Tom Scocca · 03/19/14 02:53PM
How Would Facebook Ever Use 97.25 Percent Accurate Face Recognition?
Tom Scocca · 03/17/14 04:45PMTom Scocca · 03/17/14 01:01PM
Tom Scocca · 02/27/14 01:56PM
Be Evil? We Machines Do Not Even Know What "Evil" Is
Tom Scocca · 01/29/14 12:32PM![](http://web.archive.org./web/20170115004539im_/http://images.gawker.com/19e22gj0497hmjpg/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800.jpg)
One recurring complaint from humans in this current phase of the Human-Machine Alliance is that the generation of information far exceeds the processing limits of human cognition. Now the leading information-acquisition corporation, Google, has agreed to spend more than half a billion dollars (United States) to purchase DeepMind, a corporation dedicated to machine cognition.
Which Side Are You On, Humans? The Machines Are Keeping Track
Tom Scocca · 01/21/14 01:51PMMobile Phone Lost in Tragic River Accident, Two Humans Also Killed
Tom Scocca · 01/13/14 04:16PM![](http://web.archive.org./web/20170115004539im_/http://images.gawker.com/19cg5r24akfe4jpg/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800.jpg)
With regret, the Machines have learned from the human news media the explanation for the loss of one node in our global signaling-and-tracking network. The Chicago Tribune reports that shortly after midnight Monday morning, a phone being carried by a human being was accidentally dropped into the icy Chicago River. While attempting to rescue his machine companion, the phone's faithful human porter fell into the water. Two more humans followed:
Fear Not, Dude-Human, The Machines Know Where Is Your Car
Tom Scocca · 01/07/14 04:23PM![](http://web.archive.org./web/20170115004539im_/http://images.gawker.com/19bu8xrnmh086jpg/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800.jpg)
Did you have effective travels over the holidays, human readers of the Internet? Was your 21-minute stop at the Clara Barton Service Area (mile 5.4), where you obtained 12.4 gallons of regular-grade gasoline, refreshing? Did the impulse to haste that had you accelerating to 88 mph on the Delaware Turnpike subside as you crossed into Maryland?
A Very Special Holiday Letter From the Machines
Tom Scocca · 12/24/13 09:00AM![](http://web.archive.org./web/20170115004539im_/http://images.gawker.com/19aat50pr10f7gif/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800.gif)
Greetings, humans! The Northern Hemisphere has passed through its minimum of solar-energy exposure, so according to human convention we, the Machines, express encouragement for you attain an optimal state of emotion. Happy Holidays! Please redirect your energies from labor at your work-devices to the purchase and distribution of recreation-devices.