Life indeed is beautiful. When people who were once strangers become the best of friends; when someone who was just another random human being, with whom you had zero connection, becomes the one you share all your joys and sorrows with. Friendship is a beautiful thing.

• I’ve always said there’s no hope without endeavor. Hope has no meaning unless we are prepared to work to realize our hopes and dreams but in order to that we do need to have friends. We need those who believe in us. Friends are those who believe in us and who want to help us whatever it is that we are trying to achieve.
  • Aung San Suu Kyi, Sakharov Prize for Freedom of Thought Acceptance Speech by Aung San Suu Kyi, Strasbourg, 22 October 2013.

To my regular readers, I am sure you have noted that I mention Unebonne frequently. She is very dear to me. We were in the same elementary school. What stood out most about her was that she was (she still is!) a nerd, and she was the biggest in our class. All kinds of labels were hurled at her. Dorky, weird, fat, nerd, name them. No one wanted to be seen with her. To this day I do not know what pushed me to talk to her. When I reached out to her, I discovered a really wonderful person under those labels. I always thank God for bringing us together.

Then there are those strangers who became really good friends, and then something happened in between and they ended up being strangers again. I have had a couple, actually so many of those experiences. It is really painful to lose friends, but that is part of life. Today I reflect on the reasons for the stranger-friend-stranger scenarios.

1. Lack of communication – I moved to another school at some point in my life, and I lost contact with the friends I left behind. Years passed without us muttering even a single word to each other. I met with some a few days ago and I must say we struggled to converse. The same people with whom I chatted heartily in the ‘good old days’ were now like people I had never met before in my life. There are others I lost touch with simply due to:
2. Pride – Yes! Shameful pride! Why should I text first? Why should I be the one to call? He/she should remember me for once. The other person is also saying the same thing. Before you know it ‘several’ eons have already passed. The friendship crumbled slowly and then it was no more. We really should shed off some pride.
3. Change – People change. Everyone! It is a fact of life that I had to accept. We all go through different experiences in life that shape our mentality, character name them. You find out that what brought you together vanished as you changed. Sad.
4. Betrayal – This is the most painful. When you find out that the person you called your friend was only there to take advantage of you, or maybe that person was sharing your secrets with everyone. Or that person who is with you when the sun shines, but when rain comes they rush for cover leaving you in the rain. ALONE

Those are just some of the reasons that make friendships crumble. We really should reach out to those ‘long forgotten’ friends. You never know what difference it might make. We really should do all that we can to maintain the friendships.

But sometimes we try, we do all that we can, but it fails. You just can’t wish the pain that results from it away, pain demands to be felt. It will not be there forever though, and we move on. Let us not wallow in misery or sink into depression because of the friendships that are no more. Let us forgive, however how hard might seem. Do not forget YOU in the forgiving list 🙂