"Muslim women are oppressed" is a stereotype as misleading as "Western women are promiscuous". In a world growing increasingly divided, stereotyping is the last thing we need.
Dialogue, however, may not come easily; all of us have to be able to overcome our own prejudices and earn at least B+ in geography to start a conversation and begin to understand the different realities of women around the world.
To cover up or not to cover up
Kendall Jenner pushing the boundaries of nudity by flashing her nipples sounds to me almost similar to a Niqab-wearing Muslim woman going total blackout and not leaving even a pair of eyes uncovered. I understand they come from opposing backgrounds and have different motivations. However, they are both going to the extreme, to say the least.
Some may argue that Jenner is doing what she is doing as an expression of freedom and the Muslim woman acts out of force or oppression. For me, that argument is misleading.
The fact is women's bodies – no matter what the cultures or motivations behind whether to cover or not to cover – have continuously been the battleground of various values, interests and power. Industry has been imposing women with impossible standards of beauty that push celebrities such as Jenner to flash her nipples to maintain relevance.
On the other hand, religious and political powers may nudge women towards an extreme without realising the line between complete submission to God and obedience to political power, family or peers. Both undermine women's free will. And, for what it's worth, both women seem oppressed instead of liberated.
In my home country of Indonesia, the hijab has been an epitome of political power from one authority to another. When I was a teenager during New Order government, public school students in my hometown in Pekalongan, Central Java, were not allowed to wear the hijab out of fear of the rise of Islamism that might endanger the authoritarian government.
Today, in democracy, they are obliged to wear it, out of fear that Islam may be further oppressed by the Reformasi administration. None of this helps with women's empowerment, but the latter does help the hijab industry to flourish. In a different perspective, Jenner's free nipples stunt may put clothing industry out of business. You know, in due time.
Who drives the ship in relationships?
In the spirit of over-using social media to share political statements, I once tweeted, "How can Muslims be judged for polygamy when The Bachelor is a top-rated show in many countries around the world?" or something to that effect. A friend who is a British-Indonesian replied: "The Bachelor is a television show, but polygamy is real." I stopped to reflect on my tweet after that, but now note that reality TV became a reality in last week's US election.
Muslim women are often perceived as heavily domesticated in a household, submitting to a range of ill-treatment from domestic violence to polygamy. On the other hand, Western women are often portrayed in popular culture as liberated career-oriented women with loving and understanding husbands with household filled with humour and heartfelt conversation, something close to Everybody Loves Raymond.
Unfortunately, according to September's World Health Organisation report on violence against women: "Recent global prevalence figures indicate that about one in three (35 per cent) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime." This number is terribly heartbreaking in a sense that we are all in this together, regardless of whether we are Muslim or non-Muslim, Eastern or Western.
Women's battles, regardless of backgrounds, are far from over. The feminist mantra of "the personal is political" is as relevant as ever and brings hope that women are more similar than different. Looking at the world and our lives from the perspective of women will keep discussion and dialogue running and helps debunk stereotypes across more divisive variables such as religion and ethnicity.
Sakdiyah Ma'ruf is an Indonesian female Muslim stand-up comedian who was awarded the Vaclav Havel International Prize for Creative Dissent in 2015. She is delivering The Sesquicentennial Inaugural Chaser Lecture & Dinner at Sydney Town Hall on Thursday, November 17. The 2016 Chaser Lecture will be streamed live on Facebook by The Sydney Morning Herald from 8pm.