This was published 7 years ago
Kooky Christmas things to do in Melbourne this December
By Hannah Francis
Perhaps you're a big fan of the Myer christmas windows, and don't mind handing your child to a bearded stranger in a red suit.
Or perhaps the mere mention of carols by candlelight makes you want to stuff tinsel in your ears and cry.
If it's the latter, you'll be pleased to hear there are many more creative things to see and do this month that put a fresh twist on the season's festivities.
From Koorie Klaus to Christmas Disco, there'll be something here to satisfy even the grumpiest of Grinches.
For the kiddies
Listies Ruin Xmas
The Listies Ruin Christmas
The not-so-delightful fellers who brought us Ickypedia: A Dictionary of Disgusting Words are back for more Christmas uncheer with a return season of The Listies Ruin Christmas.
There'll be poo emojis, blow-up Santas, a chance to throw Christmas decorations at the duo dressed as trees covered in velcro, and lots of tinselly mess.
As the only children's act ever to win a Barry Award at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, parents should enjoy themselves too.
Our reviewer Cameron Woodhead gave last year's performance four stars.
The Listies Ruin Christmas, December 10, 11, 17 and 18, The Malthouse Theatre. Tickets from $30.
Koorie Klaus appears at A Very Koorie Krismas at Koorie Heritage Trust in 2015.Credit: Tatjana Plitt
A Very Koorie Krismas
Who said Santa was white? Coca-Cola, actually.
Why not do things differently this year and bring your kids to visit Koorie Klaus. He comes bearing gifts, has a black bushy beard, and a red suit – but with yellow trim, like colours of the Indigenous flag.
It's all part of the Koorie Heritage Trust's A Very Koorie Krismas this Sunday at Fed Square. From 1pm to 4pm kids can make Christmas decorations with artists Cassie Leatham-Harrap and Marilyne Nicholls. Koorie Klaus arrives at 3pm.
There's also music from Culture Evolves (1.15pm), Illana Atkinson (1.45pm) and Tongberang'i Ngargga Inc (2.25pm).
And for some unique gift ideas, browse more than 100 art works from 70 Indigenous artists at the annual Koorie Art Show. Prices range from $100 to $5000, with the annual art awards announced at 2pm.
A Very Koorie Krismas, 1pm to 4pm December 11, Federation Square and Koorie Art Show, from 10am daily December 10 to February 26, Koorie Heritage Trust Gallery, Federation Square. Free.
EIGHT DAYS 11/12 The Sunday Age M Magazine
Storytime Ballet: The Nutcracker
Last year the Australian Ballet adapted Sleeping Beauty especially for children. This year's Storytime Ballet is another Tchaikovsky classic and a Christmas favourite, The Nutcracker.
Aimed at ages three to 11, the story has been abridged from 2.5 hours to just under an hour. A narrator interacts with the audience to help explain the story, and we're told the set is very Christmassy.
Audience members are encouraged to dress up in ballet costumes and will be able to meet the cast and get photos prior to the show.
Storytime Ballet: The Nutcracker, Playhouse, Arts Centre Melbourne, December 14 to 18. Tickets from $43.
For the adults
Damian Cowell's Disco Machine.Credit: Unknown
Damian Cowell and Tony Martin's Disco Christmas
TISM's special brand of expletive-laden 1990s dance-rock brought us classics like I'm On The Drug That Killed River Phoenix and Defecate On My Face.
Needless to say, this event hosted by TISM (This Is Serious Mum) frontman Damian Cowell – aka Humphrey B Flaubert – with special guest Tony Martin is unlikely to be family friendly.
You'll get a wild night of cabaret-style satire, swearing and general disrespect for the institution of Christmas. Oh – and disco music.
The icing on the Christmas cake is that it's all happening in the National Gallery of Victoria's beautiful Great Hall, and a ticket also gets you entry to both the David Hockney: Current and Viktor&Rolf: Fashion Artists exhibitions. Make sure you get in early as lines can be lengthy on Friday nights.
Damian Cowell's Disco Machine (with Tony Martin) Presents: Disco Christmas, December 23, NGV International. Tickets $30.
Oliver Clark hosts King Kahuna's Rockin Karaoke at the LuWoW in Fitzroy.Credit: Instagram/@theluwow
King Kahuna's Kristmas Karaoke
It's one of the few places in Melbourne where you can still see go-go girls dancing, but after five years of rumbling in the jungle, tropical themed bar the LuWoW closes its doors for good on December 23.
Say goodbye in tiki-hut style with two nights of King Kahuna's Kristmas Karaoke. Slip on your hawaiian shirt, put your rum in your coconut and limber up the vocal chords for some seriously cheesy Christmas numbers with host Oliver Clark. (He's as smooth as Ron Burgundy but with better singing chops.)
There are usually drink offerings for earlybirds; check theluwow.com for updates.
King Kahuna's Kristmas Karaoke, 9pm to 1am, December 15 and 22, The LuWoW, Fitzroy. Free.
For everybody
Christmas light show at the Melbourne town Hall. 8 December 2016. Credit: Eddie Jim
Christmas Projections
Now in its sixth year, Electric Canvas' delightful projections transform the Melbourne Town Hall into a giant festive decoration. This year the Christmas projections have expanded to two new locations.
At Fed Square colourful messages and jigsaw-style patterns light up the main building, and giant, illuminated baubles scatter the square.
Just west of the CBD the NAB building at Docklands is lit up with the colours of the rainbow.
Christmas projections, Melbourne Town Hall and Federation Square, 9pm to 10.20pm, daily until December 25; and Harbour Esplanade, 9pm to 10.30pm, daily until December 23.
There are some holiday hazards, but it's easy to keep your pets safe during Christmas.Credit: Marija Mandic
Pet photos with Santa
Maybe you don't have kids, but a very special Labradoodle that you dress up as a reindeer at Christmas.
You can take your cat, dog or rabbit along for a glam photo shoot on Santa's lap at Docklands. Patrons are asked to bring their own pooper scoopers.
Mr Claus (or should that be Mr Claws?) is available for photos with humans too.
Pet photos with Santa, daily from 11am until December 24, Harbour Town Melbourne Shopping Centre, Docklands. Bookings essential on 9328 8600. Prices from $12.