Here is Weed, a band centered around the prolific Ken Hensley, who did stints in Uriah Heep, The Gods, Toe Fat, and Blackfoot. This was a sort of project band with some members of Amon Duul, but don't expect anything quite as freaky. Weed played pretty standard, but great, bluesy hard rock Plenty of throbbing Hammond organ, much like Uriah Heep. After this was recorded the band changed their name to Virus and recorded a couple of more albums. Oh, did I mention how great the cover art is? Yup, that's weed on her fork....awesome.
Akitsa are a black metal band from Montreal that have more in common with G.I.S.M. than Darkthrone. Their songs deal in such themes as nature, pollution and the ongoing struggle for Quebecois independence. Their releases are never a disappointment and the "Prophétie Hérétique" 7" ep from 2004 is no exception. I believe that most of their full-length releases are still available (their great albums "Sang Nordique" and "Goetie" have recently been reissued by Hospital Records) so if this is to your liking check them out. In the meantime...
"Fuck You Stay Punk", Pretty sage advice from Tom and Boot Boys, a japanese band with a love of punk and a disdain for articles of speech. I don't think anybody in the band is actually named Tom. I do know that some (or perhaps all) members were (or perhaps are) in the band The Discocks, another Oi band that is very popular in Japan. Here I have posted their 1999 ep "Fuck You! Stay Punk!" Sorry I don't have more info, but street punk and Oi were never really my bag. I only know of Tom and Boot Boys because I hung out with a member (can't recall his name) of the band back in 1996, when he happened to be staying at the same house my old band, Hickey, was in Boston. He was very nice and funny and he gave us several copies of their ep "Punks Are Alright" (which I no longer have) even though we explained to him the best we could, given the language barrier, that one would suffice. When we got home and threw that little record on we we're floored by how totally adorable it was with it's engrish lyrics and collage artwork of punks, kittens, and Santa Claus. Like a Hello Kitty produced Oi band, Tom and Boot Boys weren't about stomping "wogs" with their "lads", they were about fun, and, well,... kittens. I know, I know it's kinda lame to dote on something simply because it's weird, Japanese, and cute, but I stayed punk, so fuck you! If you don't enjoy this, you're already dead.
So if I were to ask you who your favorite Christian glam/hard rock band from Tampa, Florida in the 1970s is, what would you say? Wait! Don't answer yet. You still haven't heard White Witch, a band so excellent you might just forget that they were Christian, or from Tampa. "A Spiritual Greeting" (1974), the band's second album, was a vast improvement over their 1972 self-titled debut (an overpowering hackneyed pop influence, despite vocalist Ron Goedert's struggle to take things beyond mediocre). "A Spiritual Greeting" has slight tinges of Bowie, Alice Cooper, Queen, The Sweet, and even shades of the lighter AOR fluff that predominated at the time, but remained pretty unique. Lyrically, White Witch's narratives imparted a veiled religious message and the just flat-out goofy. "We'll All Ride High In The Saddle" kicks off the album with a tale of a Scrooge McDuck-style tycoon unable to enjoy his wealth due to a spiritual bankruptcy. Another highlight is "Class of 2000," a naive look at the future complete with silver suits, an obligatory sexy android (a R.I.L.F.?), and machines that get people stoned. What kept White Witch from superstardom? Why does an album this good still rot in obscurity? My guess is that this great band from Florida could not win over the more sophisticated audiences and critics in New York and the UK. And perhaps the world wasn't ready for Ron Goedert's crazy vibrating, over-the-top wailing. The guy was fucking nuts, and that is a huge part of why this album is so good. You get that while Bowie may have wanted you to think he was really strange, Ron actually was. He takes on a sort of insane Master of Ceremonies role, presiding over his talented minstrels with a foamy-mouthed madness. Though my cd copy regretably contains no photos of the band, they were very visual in their presentation (as the music and name almost demand) with face paint, gaudy clothes and capes. Ron Goedert died ironically enough in the year of 2000. He didn't live long enough to see robots we can fuck or White Witch inducted into the Florida Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame (which they recently were) but, one imagines that he rests a bit easier in Heaven knowing that his White Witch is hailed along side of such luminaries as Molly Hatchet and Miami Sound Machine.
Unbeing hail from Norway and feature members of Grenjar and Istorn, 2 more black metal bands you have probably never heard of. Their sole release, "Unbeing Black, Draped in Unlife" is comprised of just one massive track clocking in at just over 16 minutes. Musically, Unbeing is more Burzum than Mayhem opting for the slower tempos and more painful shreiking vocals. Released by Fossbrenna Productions label, who specialize in tapes of depressive black metal.
Sesame Street's '70s albums are a goldmine of great, catchy music probably due to the limitless talents of Children's Television Workshop's prolific music director, Joe Rapposo (he also penned the "Three's Company" theme). "My Name is Roosevelt Franklin" is easily the best Sesame Street album ever made and very possibly the weirdest funk album of the 1970s. Roosevelt Franklin was the angry militant black muppet of Sesame Street, barely out of elementary school and badder than James Carr and Huey P. Newton combined. Roosevelt sounds like a soulful mix of Gil Scott Heron and Mitch Hedburg as he lays down the cold hard truth about some serious shit like safety and numbers. Mobity Mosely's guest appearance on "Mobity Mosely's Months" absolutely seals the deal. And "Just Because," a weird ballad about senseless violence, could very well be the anti-war anthem of the 20th century. Roosevelt Franklin was voiced by Matt Robinson who also played Gordon. After the mid-'70s Roosevelt was phased out for being too black and too strong, Sesame Street had lost it's edge. So where is Roosevelt Franklin today? Well, In 2001, Roosevelt Franklin was sentenced to one to three years' imprisonment in New York State for cocaine possession. While out of jail in 2002, he appeared on the "Black Lincoln" album by hip-hop group The Ruffianz. He was released on parole in 2003. On July 5, 2006, Roosevelt Franklin was sentenced to two to four years in a New York State prison for violating a plea deal on a drug-possession charge by leaving a treatment center. Roosevelt Franklin said he is HIV-positive and claimed the in-patient rehabilitation center stopped giving him his medication. The prosecution countered that Roosevelt Franklin had once skipped out for an appearance with singer Alicia Keys. Roosevelt Franklin's sentence was to run until July 13, 2009. He was paroled on May 23, 2007. He has since begun performing live again, starting with a show at SOBs in New York on September 13, 2007. On stage, he stated that he and his musicians were working on a new album and that he had resumed writing a book titled "The Skin I'm In" (previously on long-term hiatus) about his turbulent life. Roosevelt Franklin was arrested October 10, the day before a second SOBs performance scheduled for October 11, 2007, on felony possession of cocaine charges. It would seem that the CTW dream factory was but a nightmare machine that chewed up and spit out Roosevelt Franklin.
What the fuck is it about the Italian bands that just make them so not afraid to "go there"? It's almost as if they were born without the gene that makes it possible to be embarrassed. Seriously, be it Death SS, the power metal of Rhapsody, the doom of Dark Quarterer, or even the satanic prog of Jacula, Italy has produced some of the weirdest, corniest, overly-ornate music to date and has shown no sign of slowing or toning anything down. So this brings me to Wyxmer, a metal/prog/rock band from Genoa that are unafraid, and even proud, to sing epic tales with such titles as "Mystical Wyvern," "King of the Ladies" and "My Princess Bride." I should add that this feat is pulled off without so much as a molecule of irony. Black Widow Records, who are also based in Italy, specialize in this sort of thing and released Wxmer's "Feudal Throne" on vinyl and cd. Black Widow's usual attention to excellent packaging makes this (and all things Black Widow) worth getting, even if their wares tend to be pricey. Recently, it has come to my attention that any album with a castle on the front is usually good, and "Feudal Throne" keeps this tradition alive by being so bold, so weird, and so very cheesy. The singer's heartfelt crooning almost borders on Las Vegas camp, or Broadway, and only serves to make the whole affair that much more engaging. Kind of like older Queensryche meets B.O.C. in a D&D; game held in the banquet room of an Olive Garden in Long Branch, New Jersey. If that means anything at all to you get it here:
Around 1991 there were teenage cults popping up all over the globe. Unloved juveniles huffing glue and rabidly devouring any satanic music they could find. In Finland there was Beherit, in Norway there was Mayhem and Burzum, and in Brazil there was Impurity. Impurity, like many of these hell-bent crews, were avid letter writers and tape traders, a pastime that exposed them to the infernal work of Beherit at an early age. Being from Belo Horizonte, Brazil, they were already well-versed in Sarcofago, Vulcano, and Sextrash. Eventually, in 1993, Impurity released their amazing debut album. "The Lamb's Fury" is the southern answer to Beherit's seminal album "Drawing Down the Moon," though it receives way less fanfare, probably due to geographical matters. The band recorded a "lost" ep in 1991. "Guests of the Infernal Pit" is pure, unfiltered raw youthful blasphemy. The four songs contain the kind of anti-religious fervor and antagonism that could only come from Third World teenage boys. The emphasis is on evil rather than skill or musicality, and the results are intense. Unfortunately, all plans to release this recording went unfulfilled when the label that had agreed to do it went belly up. The awesome Nuclear War Now label had the good sense to release this in a beautifully packaged gatefold 7" ep in 2004. Do yourself a favor and grab one of these if you can, though I imagine they went quick. Nuclear War Now also did a striking 12" reissue of "The Lamb's Fury" that comes with a great book and poster. Support or Die!!!
...the Twisted Sister Christmas Album. Why ? Fuck if I know. Um, enjoy.
Here's the second installment of ZZ Top Vinyl rips. "Rio Grande Mud", the band's second album, came out in 1972. Enjoy.
Last March my band had the extreme displeasure of attending the annual SXSW festival in Austin, Texas. It would seem that what may have once been a reputable industry convention was now just another frat boy, girls-gone-wild tit and puke fest. A Mardi Gras with bands, a spring break with every sideways haircut dipshit handing you a cd of his band and telling you to "have a killer showcase, bro" FUCK OFF!!!!!
Released waaaay back in '83 by Destroy Records, the "We Can't Help it if We're From Florida" 7" ep was to Florida what "This Is Boston Not LA" was to Boston, and "This Is Phoenix Not The Circle Jerks" was to Phoenix. Basically a regional comp of amazing punk bands not heard outside their respected areas. You get Hated Youth's D.R.I.-like thrashing fastcore, two brief tracks from the amazing Sector 4, Morbid Opera's female-fronted garage/psych punk freakout, Roach Motel's drunken redneck punk fury, and finally, Rat Cafeteria's so-so Oi flavored punk with keyboards. If you were punk and living in Florida, this record was mandatory, and most likely it lit a fire under your ass to start a band. It's pretty amazing to think of that 13 minutes of music could make such a difference in anyone's life, and even make whatever shit hole you should find yourself growing up in seem not so terrible, but "We Can't Help it if We're From Florida" most certainly did that for me. Without it, I might be writing this blog about my cats and fantasy footbal.
Glory were a long-running San Diego dude guy party rock band. Even though they had such a lengthy "career," the band never cut a proper album. Seems they just didn't care to so long as there was a cold one and a rolled one to enjoy on a sleepy, sunny 1970 Californa afternoon. Only because they decided to perform live on radio station KPRI did they ever preserve their laidback blues rock to tape. I'm rather glad that this is the way we get to know Glory, I don't know if a proper studio would have yielded such a warm, down-home recording. Even without the cover image you can almost see these five San Diego stoner surfer dudes crammed into a tiny room, some beers and a bong not far from the rock. One of the guitarists (Jerry or Jack) is naked because he just feels more free that way, and it's radio, nobody will know. When I listen to "On The Air" I know that I am hearing pretty much what I might have heard if I was one of Glory's surfing buddies that came along to hang out and get high. It's this personal quality that makes this such a charming and enjoyable album. Glory may not exactly be the MC5 or Zeppelin, but they are your bros, and they want you to have a killer time, and you probably will.
The band is called An, they are from Finland, and they don't much care for us humans, in fact they welcome our end. They celebrate suicide, genocide, ebola and just about anything that exists to see that we don't. "Revelation I: World Minus Population," released in 2005, is An's only full-length album so far. Its anti-human bent is complete down to the atmosphere, songwriting and the cover art (yeah, that's a pile of dead bodies). An present themselves as emotionless tyrants, overseers of the unpleasant, but necessary, destruction of mankind. Black metal, death metal, ambient-industrial metal, whatever. An are so beyond your labels, your sub-sub-sub-genres, your blog, your myspace, your planet, your bullshit, your smug smiling face, and really, what will it matter when your burned and broken body is but a fleck in a planet-wide mass grave? An will see it done. I can't even begin to describe how cold, sinister, malcious, and great this is. Just get it from here, subhuman filth.
Manilla Road is the band that occupies the most space in my record collection. Not because they are my favorite band (though I am extremely fond of them), but because they have a huge discography dating as far back as 1980. Even more impressive is the fact that there is not really a bad record among them. "Crystal Logic" is the one that I find myself reaching for most often, it is one of those rare perfect albums. I'm going to assume that if you don't already own this album you probably know little to nothing about the single-most greatest heavy metal band to ever come raging out of Wichita, Kansas, so allow me to give you some history. Manilla Road was formed in 1977 by guitarist/vocalist Mark "The Shark" Shelton and his tight bros, Rick Fisher (drums) and Scott Parks (bass). The band was diligent and in 1980 they released their debut "Invasion" on their own label, Roadster Records. "Invasion" is a cool album of early Rush inspired hard rock/prog even if the playing falls short of the benchmark. Manilla Road unleashed a great follow-up album called "Metal" in '82 that showed the band adopting a more NWOBHM style. "Crystal Logic" followed in '83, and this really was the start of Manilla Road finding their own voice and creating something entirely their own. Shelton is a gifted songwriter and this album is testament to this fact. The songs vary from Iron Maidenesque gallops to slow mournful doomscapes with Shelton's unique, nasal voice spinning grandiose tales of fantasy with himself as the protagonist. There is absolutely no fat on this album (save for the intoduction), each moment, each riff is tremendous and has purpose. "Crystal Logic" never fails to entertain me no matter my mood nor how many times I have heard it before, it's always perfect. How many albums can you say that about? Mark "The Shark" still lives in Wichita and Manilla Road has existed now in some form or another for thirty years. 2005 saw the release of their fourteenth album "Gates Of Fire", and, dude, it's good. If there truly was such a thing as karma, or god, or whatever name you assign to the notion that the universe is fair, Mark Shelton would live in the castle that graces this masterpiece's cover, where he would sit on a throne of gold while oily concubines wash his feet in the tears of faeries. However, fortune rarely favors the geniuses and visionaries, and I am sure that Mark Shelton's reality is far less romantic. But through his work we all get to leave the mundane for a spell, and hear some great fucking songs in the process. Thanks Mark, you rule.
Levifer is a guy, not a band. He happens to be the guitarist for the fairly well-known Peruvian black metal band, Goat Semen. His name is a clever amalgam of the names "Leviathan" and "Lucifer," I guess Levifer is twice as evil as the average archdevil. "Tribute to the Supreme Beast" was Levifer's 2000 demo and was released as a tape, and later as a picture disc. Despite Levifer's fondness for wearing corpsepaint, the music is more akin to ancient death metal and thrash than European black metal. The lyrics are the usual sucking up to Satan affair.This demo, while not mind-blowing, still crushes. I would gladly take Levifer over a thousand kiddie retro-thrash bands any day.
Here's another neglected pearl from 1972, Cargo from Holland's only album. The band centered around brothers Ad and Jan de Hont, who had a modicum of success with the band September. Cargo played trippy, hard psych that calls you to saddle up your pegacorn and take to the skies, or merely load up your ceramic wizard bong and take to the sofa. Check out the de Hont brother's acid-soaked guitargument during "Cross Talking." Cargo kept the vocals to minimum, favoring balls out jamming. The album's closer, the witchy "Summerfair" has some pretty cool singing, but it's more about Cargo just going for it. This was released at some point as a cd with September's singles as bonus fluff, but I have chosen to give you the four songs that originally appeared on the vinyl in 1972, as the September stuff is nothing special. Okay, let's get high.
My love for the Japanese hardcore of the 1980s knows no bounds, and it was Lip Cream's 1987 album "9 Shocking Terror" (along with G.I.S.M.'s "Detestation") that really brought me to the fold. Recently I reacquainted myself with "9 Shocking Terror" and found it to be as potent as it was upon my first listen. "Ripping" is the word that first comes to mind when attempting to describe this album, it is a runaway bullet train of speed and hostility unmatched even today. Of course the crazy shredding guitar solos that are commonplace in Japanese hardcore are in full effect, as well as the layer of fuzzed out distortion, though not to the degree of some of the other well-known Japanese bands. Lip Cream really never strayed from this style in their six year career, but it is this album that stands out in what proved to be a pretty stellar run. If you are already a Japanese hardcore nerd, then this is old-hat for you, however if you are a hardcore fan but were intimidated by the sheer volume of great Japanese records or the high prices the originals fetch, then "9 Shocking Terror" is as good a place to start as any. Oh, and don't even get me started on just how perfect that cover is. Get it here:
"Gesamkunstwerk" is the first demo tape by Lascowiec, a mysterious black metal band from San Francisco. This was released just last year in a very limited number and is long gone and already highly sought after. The band released a couple of great cdr demos as Angkor Vat before changing to Lascowiec. Russian black metal bands such as Branikald and Forest seem to have made an impact on the two members of Lascowiec. Awesome, hypnotic and cold. 
I know it sounds totally crazy, but seriously, Bomb may have been the best band ever to come out of San Francisco. They were formed in 1986 by singer/bassist Michael W. Dean, guitarist Jay Crawford, and drummer Tony Fag. Jay Crawford was replaced by Doug Hilsinger, but Crawford returned and the band continued with both guitarists. Bomb was like nothing else. I imagine they were a lazy record reviewer's nightmare because they could not be described by simply listing other bands. Tony's tribal tom tom-centric playing and Crawford and Hilsinger's skyward guitar swirls lay perfect under Dean's empassioned voice and greasy pulsing bass. Bomb's playing was so instinctual and odd they seemed a band without peer or influence. The lyrics were fantastic too, with Michael Dean's gift for words and his autobiographical tales of life as a down-and-out, drug addicted scumbag in San Francisco's sordid rock and roll underworld. Real names were often used with no regard of protecting the innocent. Dean was a modern day Rimbaud, drinking and fucking his way through the bars and bedrooms of the city he loves and hates. Dean's success is that he can do this without coming off as a pretentious tortured artist. Bomb was real, Bomb was fucked. Bomb had problems and they weren't afraid to let it be known, in fact, they wore them with pride like a shiner or a hickey. Bomb toured America quite a few times, and Europe once, made a few amazing records and got signed to Warner Brothers, and made a final great album that nobody bought, despite being plagued by both infighting and very public (sometimes on-stage) drug abuse. In 1993 it came to an abrupt end on stage when Tony Fag had had enough. All of Bomb's releases were special, but it is 1988's "Hits of Acid" (Boner Records) that stands out as the crown jewel in Bomb's tiara. "Hits of Acid" is way out of print and never saw a cd release and probably never will. So it is with the utmost pleasure I bring you one of the greatest albums that you never heard, Bomb's "Hits of Acid" here:
Kvikksølvguttene was the short-lived band of Mayhem bassist, Necrobutcher and two members of the legendary Norwegian cult band, Vomit. The name means "Quicksilver Boys" and is a play on the name of a popular Norwegian choir called Sølvguttene (Silver Boys). The band had two releases, "Krieg" and the "Gamlem" ep (both in 1997) before breaking up. Rumor has it that the singer/guitarist, Zathan (Kittil Kittilsen), is now a born-again christian. Hmmmmm. But this ephemera regarding Kvikksølvguttene is not terribly important, nor is the disturbing image of a pantsless Somali fighter clutching a severed hand in his teeth that graces the cover of "Krieg." What is important (somewhat) is the great, primitive hate-fueled tuneage here, ten tracks of no-frills, juvenile, knuckle-dragging blackened hate that ends with the bizarre "Gamlem." Nobody will ever accuse Kvikksølvguttene of being "pioneers" or "geniuses", but really...who fucking cares?
Toy Machine Skateboards mainman Ed Templeton tells the Diamond Wizard story: "A few years back I asked artist Chris Johanson to do a series of board graphics for us. He came up with the whole concept called ‘Diamond Wizard’ and recorded music just for the boards. The music was dark and had great lyrics about being the overlord of a multitude of minions. We produced the music as a cassette tape and shrink-wrapped them into the boards he made. It sold like crap, but it was the best series we ever did." 
Asterix released this cool album in 1970 then changed their name to Lucifer's Friend, who you may have heard of. I guess the cover is trying to make some sort of "fruit as vagina" statement, I don't really know. I do know that if you like obscure hard rock from the '70s, and you weren't aware of this lost gem, you'd do wise to get it from here:
Verivala (Finnish for "blood stream") is a sickening black metal band with strong crust-punk leanings. So far, "Voittomme" is Verivala's only full length album, but the band has released an ep and a few splits with lesser bands. The CD edition of "Voittomme" was released by the fucking amazing (sadly, now defunct) Autistiartili Records in 2004, limited to 500 handnumbered copies. A limited gatefold LP version was released by World Terror Committee Productions. Verivala is not a band that should be over-intellectualized or pondered. If you like filthy blackened punk crust hell just go here:
Look, I understand George Lucas' desire to update his original Star Wars with all the latest in CGI technology, but does that make it right? No! The original was great and has been ingrained into our collective psyche as it was in 1977. In my world, Han Solo shot first, and we don't see Jabba the Hut for another few years. These attempts to rewrite history often fall flat and only serve to make the originals, that meant so much to our impressionable minds, hard to find. So imagine my disgust when I picked up the "ZZ Top Six Pack" cd box set. You see, I thought I was getting the first six ZZ Top albums in one handy box, saving myself time as well as money, two things I am painfully short on. But alas for woe, upon placing the cd in the player and hearing the opening launch of "Someone Else Been Shakin' Your Tree," followed by Frank Beard's thud, I felt as if I had been shot in the nutsack under the table by a cocky Corellian smuggler. The warm, homey sound of Beard's finessed playing had been replaced by the overbearing, gated '80s cocaine drum sound that marred ZZ Top's later records. And such is the case throughout all six albums, all digitally remastered to completely whitewash the dusty veneer of these precious albums. Why is anyone's guess, but I blame the age-old axiom that once an artist experiences massive success, they no longer can understand what made them appealing in the first place. An endless file of sycophantic yes-men are ever at the ready to tell them whatever corn-studded turd they are unleashing on their once adoring public is spun of angel hair and gold (see Metallica.) So I don't blame the Top themselves, they are mere mortals and problems have plagued these bearded champions from day one, and perhaps they were eager to rewrite a history that they see as less than joyous. The crime of this remaster of disaster is most evident on "Old Man," the album's only ballad, where Beard's fluttery snare work is totally devoured by that horrid reverb. What is most unnerving to me is that future generations, future civilizations even, might actually think this is what ZZ Top sounded like in the 1970s. Just like if I mention my love for this band to anyone born after 1975 they say "Oh, that band that did "Sharp-Dressed Man." Ugh!
Sure they were cute, look at the swastika drawn on that one dude's head and the guy with the downy moustache and "Jo-Jo" scrawled on his chest, but hardcore? Nope. More like pop punk, but hold on there Wattie, don't get your leather spiked panties in a bunch. This isn't My Chemical Romance or Falloutboy, this is real, this is New Jersey's Chronic Sick. Originally released in 1982, "The Cutest Band in Hardcore" is a cool little record of snarling punk. You get the idea from the lyrics and the cover photo that these guys were really funny and out to offend anyone they could, however, buried within the 13 minutes of juvenile fuckery lies some of the best hooks to ever grace a punk record. Don't believe me? Check out the coda on "Dress Code," then go out and punch a hippie (but not too hard.) Here:
Rites "Prostrate To The Black Tyrants"
Mighty Sphincter were Arizona's acid soaked goth kings of high weirdness. This was their debut, and it is an ugly, swirling, drug-fueled skull fucking ride to the knotty peaks of schizophrenia mountain. Mighty Sphincter spew forth four songs with some oddly engaging guitar playing and manic jazzy drumming. Uncomfortable and cummy. Shimmering yet dark. The whole twisted affair is wrapped up with Black Sabbath's "Electric Funeral" Sphincterized into "Electric Hose-Bag."
Things like this tape are precisely why I started doing Cosmic Hearse. It's strange, it's mysterious, it's poorly recorded, and it was released in a limited edition of 188 hand-numbered copies. Blod Besvimelse and Grausamkeit, two incredibly warped black metal bands from Germany, joined forces to create "More Evil Than All." The cover art is perfect too, a xeroxed image of two corpse-painted bros, one of them in a Halloween costume witch hat, they appear to be hugging. Blod Besvimelse start out their side with a lo-fi pre-recorded version of Richard Strauss' well known "Also Sprach Zarathustra." Why Blod Besvimelse chose such an instantly recognizable piece of music to kick off their only release is anyone's guess. This curious intro is followed by a mid-paced, keyboard-heavy instrumental called "Seelengifter" and another titled "Misebanke." Grausamkeit sound like Blod Besvimelse with vocals. Both bands share a love for the lo-fi aesthetic and outdated keyboard sounds. Grausamkeit has recorded and released no fewer than eighteen demos and three splits between 1995 and 2001, all on cassette, all amazing. Grausamkeit's three song contribution to this split has more guitars than other stuff I have heard from the band. The vocals are way up in the "mix," and sound very removed from the instruments. Not the best from Grausamkeit, one of my all-time favorite outsider black metal bands, but still eccentric enough to merit a mention here. Now listen:
Ultraman was a very popular TV show from Japan in the late 1960s. Every episode this costumed warrior would dole out ass-beatings to a myriad of fucked-up monsters. "Why?" you dare ask, you tree-hugging, bleeding-heart, candy-pants, moonbat, sissy-mary? Because monsters are douchebags, every last one of them a raging fucktard ready to bend over and take a monster sized-dump all over Tokyo's happiness. Oh, but not if Ultraman has anything to say about it, sweet tits. This iron-balled hero of Japanese television has made it his life's work to implant his giant silver boot firmly in the ass of any monster that steps out of line. Oh, I can hear you whining about the flagrant human rights abuses supposedly perpetrated by Ultraman, but you might sing a different tune when one of these Eastern abominations decides to rape your sister or marry your cousin. 円谷プロダクション is a guy who truly understands the Japanese monster mind and decided to capture that pathos in his album, "Ultraman The CD." On the opening track you will hear a bunch of Ultraman monsters screaching and bellowing in an infernal overture of frenzied delight. Then what follows is a track for each monster. The songs range from Kraftwerk style electronica to southern rock, from tender ballads to film noiresque slinky jazz, from upbeat "feelin' great" party anthems to weird sinister metal. Each number is "sung" by the monster that inspired it, and each one a corny, hackneyed and embarassingly stupid romp. You might even recognize a few riffs here and there. It makes for a fine album spanning many styles for someone who enjoys hearing monsters yell and has a severe case of ADD. The tone of some numbers suggests that a few monsters are really just sad or misunderstood, some are very happy and fun-loving, but most seem to be saying "Fuck you Tokyo, Y'all don't know me!" Either way, Ultraman doesn't give a fuck and opens up a Sapporo-sized can of whoop-ass on all of them. Fuck 'em. Monsters are assholes.
Absurd are probably best known for being the teenage murderers of a classmate and for later adopting an extreme racist viewpoint, but those gawk factors aside, Absurd were a great high school punk band. "Facta Loquuntur" is by no means a musical monument. However there exists an undeniable charm and purity to this album. Absurd had limited musical ability, and living in East Germany, limited access to outside influences. This is perhaps is why musically Absurd are more punk than black metal. As awkward as their age and as depressing as their country, "Facta Loquuntur" is pure primitave teenage cult angst. Though Absurd have always existed in some form another, to me, this is their only "real" record. It has been reissued a few times by various politically motivated record labels but here we have the original No Colours pressing from 1996.
Sometimes a band will shift gears and change direction so drastically that one has to wonder if something utterly tragic or completely magic happened during the interim. Such was the case when Beherit, early and highly influential purveyors of blasphemous black death metal, opted to make "H418ov21.C". This album is deeply satanic, deeply evil, and in no way at all metal. This self-described "Ritual Music" seems to be the outcome of much narcotized contemplation by Beherit main-man Nuclear Holocausto. While I'm sure the hordes of Beherit fans probably hated "H418ov21.C", I found it to be creepier than any previous Beherit offering. This record was made with what sounds like a cheap Casio keyboard and an even cheaper vintage drum machine, one track being just a continuous rapid bass drum. So fucking weird and personal sounding, as if Beherit didn't want to make this so much as they HAD to. Druggy, evil, and just straight-up bizarre. Here:
Anxiety are a 2-piece band from Finland who like to inject a fair amount of the punk ethos into their black metal. The duo of Zetekh and O.M. have released two demos to date, each tape limited to 300 hand-numbered copies. Here I present the second of these demos, "The Holocaust Anthem." Nothing about the cover really suggests that this isn't a tape of blistering crust punk from 1986, but no, Anxiety are black as pitch and don't really give a fuck if people are starving and nuclear weapons are being proliferated, in fact, Anxiety probably takes comfort in such notions. Anxiety thinks you are scum, and they are probably right. Get it here:
JFA liked to skate and play punk, they had songs about girls and beer and skating and stuff but there was something kinda strange about JFA, they played really really well. They played really well AND seem to have a knowledge and appreciation for music of all kinds, sometimes to a fault. Forays into funk and surf, at times, diluted the flow of JFA's recordings. By 1984 the band had outgrown the juvenile skatepunk roots that their name implied (it stand's for Jodie Foster's Army, Robyn), and was heading in a deeper, more thoughtful direction. Of course, in some camps, this was an unwelcome development, but to my ninth-grade mind JFA could do whatever they wanted to, really. "Mad Garden" (1984), along with the 7 inch, "My Movie" (1986) both showcase JFA's desire to be more than a skateboard band. While "My Movie" is a kind of throwaway record, "Mad Garden," in my opinion, is fantastic. The title track starts off as a typical fast JFA number but soon lapses into a sensitive coda. The lyrics lament the closing of a great Phoenix punk venue that hosted wrestling matches during shows. Next is "Rushing Bull," which could be mistaken for a Husker Du song if not for Brian Brannon's signature breathless vocal delivery. The cover version of the Charlie Brown song, though well done, seems a bit like filler. Then it all comes to an end with "I Want" with its clumsy trumpet intro that falls into another fast hook-fulled JFA song. All in all "Mad Garden" has a somber feel, as if JFA is saying goodbye, not just to the venue of the same name, but to its audience and its adolescence. In a sense, it's an audio recording of four dudes growing up and getting on. And that, ladies and gentlemen, makes it a very unique record. enjoy...
Here's a rare (only 666 pressed) 7" from Destroyer 666. Destroyer 666 is a band that should need no introduction, but in case you don't know them, they are an amazing black/death/thrash band from Melbourne, Australia. here:
I never knew this record had a title, but I've seen it called "Snort My Load" on various sites. Nig-Heist were the greasy, long haired, pot-headed roadies of Black Flag. After many opening slots for their employers, Nig-Heist set out to be their own band, making this ugly record on the way. The music is fuzzed out, semi-impromptu stoner jams, and a few shout-outs to bad hair metal with ultra vulgar lyrics that might make The Mentors or The Meatmen blush a tad. You also get a cover of the Velvet Underground classic "If She Ever Comes." It would seem that Nig-Heist's sole purpose here was to offend somebody, anybody, but the at the end of the day it's a pretty fun listen. The album opens with "Life In General" where we get vocalist, Mugger's philosophy: "Everyone's got their religion and their god. Money and sex are what I abide by." To further set the tone, the album came in an unbleached brown paper bag-like jacket with some very disturbing art. Rumored to have been drawn by DEVO's Mark Mothersbaugh, but actually the work of Nancy Maurer. The cover depicts a ventriloquist's dummy getting blown by a little girl puppet. Wow. Get it here:
First off we have the mysterious musician Ares J Wittenvelt performing simply as "Ares." Ares is clearly influenced by Gorgoroth and even has a song titled "Order the Advance (tribute to Gorgoroth)." The music is self-proclaimed "Warlike Raw Black Metal," but Ares' songs are more melodic and structured than other Korean bm bands. Inside the booklet Ares declares "I much Hate 'Sorrow', 'Tears' & 'Han' metal!!!" Nice.
"We are warriors of the Great Throne. The Throne's Finger indicate our fate. In a Great War's Beginning, we will slaught them...." announces the mighty Warpeal. Warpeal are the now defunct trio of Barbarous, Rudan and Ruck. Their demo "Skirmish" is a fuzzed out dissonant hell. 
"Open the Black Dimension. Order From the Mighty King. Destruction of Black Death. Power From Hell. Evil Knight" 
"Vanish! All the Shit Religious Crank!! Kill!!!! All the Shit Racism! Be Ash! All the Shit Symphonic Black Metaller! Always! Pure Black Metal tell us the TRUTH!" 
"TO: Melodic gothic black metallers!!!! You are not blackmetallers!! Never!! Don't think you are underground musicians!!! I will cut your heads off!!! TO: Political black metallers!!!! Don't think black metal is political!!! Black Metal must be spiritual music!!! If you want to play political music then play another kind of music!!!!" -Helnakstav
