It’s just ‘part of the job’. Being leered at, propositioned, cornered or groped by customers is a normal part of a shift for many workers. The customer is always right. Wrong.
“Men constantly call, trying to get you to describe things for their own self-pleasure ... There is this unique power play where you can’t escape because you are often on your own. You are absolutely vulnerable. And it’s terrifying, totally terrifying...”Chanelle Men's fashion, lingerie
Chanelle was alone in the shop when a customer came in to buy something for his wife, a particular garment. It was for an event they would be attending, he said, where he would watch her being cornered in a room by 15 men, all trying to assault her, while he watched. He stayed in the shop for a quarter of an hour, detailing the attack in horrifying detail, following Chanelle around the shop as she tried to get away.
Working in a High St lingerie chain, Chanelle was familiar with the many ways customers would sleaze onto her. Because she couldn’t get away from them, couldn’t just leave, the leering and oversharing was gross, frightening and made her feel like she was being forced to be complicit. It never got easier.
It’s just ‘part of the job’. Being leered at, propositioned, cornered or groped by customers is such a normal part of a shift for many workers, that’s how they explain it to themselves and each other. Laugh it off. Try not to let it get to you. The customer is always right.
Wrong.
Five years ago, a landmark change to the Sex Discrimination Act made it illegal for customers to sexually harass employees. Not only were customers who did so breaking the law, but employers who did not take reasonable steps to protect staff could be liable. Yet since then, complaints to the Australian Human Rights Commission have barely risen and there have been no court cases testing the new law.
Some business owners don’t think it’s their problem if you experience a disturbing or frightening incident. You’re told you are there to serve. One owner made me keep the shop open after a violent robbery when the shop was full of mace. You develop a low-lying sense of vigilance that’s always there, all the time.
I’ve had people masturbating in change rooms. Menacing situations where people ask leading questions to establish whether you are alone in the store. Girls and women are vulnerable in retail because they are often working alone, particularly in shopping strips and small business where they’re not protected by CCTV. I think some people deliberately target boutiques because they know that.
You develop a low-lying sense of vigilance that’s always there, all the time.
Some business owners don’t think it’s their problem if you experience a disturbing or frightening incident. You’re told you are there to serve. One owner made me keep the shop open after a violent robbery when the shop was full of mace. I’m a casual - most people in retail are - so don’t get sick leave or stress leave. You just have to soldier on.
Meggs' story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
“As a feminist, it was particularly humiliating, because I felt every time I didn’t say anything, I betrayed myself”.Lauren Menswear, Industrial design
“My own ‘no’ isn’t enough; it’s that they don’t want to be cutting some other bloke’s lunch”.Danielle Bartender
“Once a man threw a can of Coke at me and said women have no business talking about this stuff”.Jennie Advanced driving instructor
“What’s really gutting is the student’s interpretation: ‘the bitches didn’t get the joke’”.Laura High school teacher
“I bumped into him outside of work once and I was like, ‘holy shit, what if he follows me home?’”.Cassandra Post office worker
Fairfax Media spoke to 20 women for this investigation. They work in a broad range of roles: waitresses, retail workers, health workers, teachers, an industrial designer, sex worker, librarians and call centre staff. They are employed at places you’ve been to - bars, juice kiosks, public hospitals, the post office.
Moderate verbal or physical harassment is experienced daily by some, weekly by many of these women. Major incidents - rape threats, stalking, physical attack - happen to them maybe once a year. The consequences for their physical and mental health are serious and long term. "I am so glad you are doing this story," many women said.
If their experiences are typical, hundreds of thousands of employees face the same hazards every week.
So where are the hard-hitting safety campaigns? In the five years since the amendment to the Sex Discrimination Act was passed, there have been none. And despite their responsibility for enforcing safety, regulators have not pressed employers to protect staff against these newly unlawful acts.
“If we were seeing those sorts of injury rates for a piece of machinery, you’d expect to see ads on TV, there would be approved training, there’d be prosecutions,” says workplace relations and discrimination lawyer, Lisa Heap. “You’d have to conclude it’s entrenched sexism in regulating authorities.”
“You working here all alone?”, “You look sexy in your uniform”, “Stuck up bitch”, “Give me a blow job”.
Stop right there. Go back. Where did that go from being friendly to creepy? The sexist insult? The implied threat of violence? Actually, delivered with a leer or a snarl, all these comments crossed the line for the women they were directed to at work.
The law defines sexual harassment as any unwelcome sexual behaviour which makes a person feel offended, humiliated or intimidated.
About 25 per cent of female and 16 per cent of male employees have experienced such harassment at work in the previous five years, according to Australian Human Rights Commission data. About nine per cent of those were targeted by a customer.
Overseas research suggests an even greater prevalence of customer harassment in service industries, particularly those in which women and younger workers are over-represented. Among female retail workers, the incidence was as high as 40 per cent in a US study, and 67 per cent in a Canadian one.
Figures like these indicate the incidence could fairly be described as a serious and systemic hazard in many industries. Yet the AHRC, whose officeholders include national Sex Discrimination Commissioner Kate Jenkins, receives only about 200 complaints relating to workplace sexual harassment per year, a figure which has plateaued in recent years. Just 17 a year - about 9 per cent of the total - relate to the provision of goods and services (and that includes customers harassing employees and vice versa).
Jenkins, who was previously Victorian Human Rights Commissioner, says the picture is similar at state and territory levels, indicating at best, about 150 cases of customer-client harassment are registered each year, and only 750 in the five years since the law was amended.
Testimony from the people who work in frontline roles suggest that’s not the tip of an iceberg. It’s a snowflake on its summit.
“Working at a high-end wine bar, customers were tipping a lot, and there was an entitlement that went with that - I’d get pinched on the bum as a daily occurrence. From overt harassment and physical assault through to the general lack of respect, the assumption that you don’t know as much as men - it’s everywhere, all the time.”
Working at a high-end wine bar, customers were tipping a lot, and there was an entitlement that went with that. I’d get pinched on the bum as a daily occurrence. As staff split the tips, you didn’t want to aggravate them because that had repercussions for the whole team. One owner and a head barista tried to hit on me, so I didn’t feel able to go to seek support because they’d already done the same.
In social work, some of the clients are mentally unwell, and you’re more forgiving of them, but there’s still a gendered nature [to their abuse]. From overt harassment and physical assaults through to the general lack of respect that permeates a lot of workplaces, where there’s an assumption you don’t know as much as men - it’s everywhere, all the time. Which is endlessly frustrating and totally depressing.
About 95 per cent of social workers are women but very few work in management. Staying in the frontline means you’re going to be copping the abuse your entire career, while [male] managers can escape because they are dealing with staff rather than clients.
Rosa's story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
Sexual harassment. Know where the line is.^
Why the low numbers of complaints? Former sex discrimination commissioner Elizabeth Broderick, who was herself subjected to persistent harassment by a client as a junior lawyer, says it’s because such behaviour towards women is normalised. While men are also subjected to sexual harassment, mostly by other men, data shows it mostly happens to women.
In a 2012 AHRC survey, many people who had been sexually harassed denied it, even after the legal definition was read to them. It was only when given examples - lewd comments, cornering, displaying porn - that a quarter of them acknowledged it occurred.
We only “see” sex harassment when it fits a preconceived template of a male superior, a female subordinate, and physical acts of harassment, says RMIT legal studies academic Professor Sara Charlesworth, who co-authored an analysis of the survey.
Incidents that fit this template are far more likely to trigger a complaint with the AHRC or its state and territory counterparts, Charlesworth says. Only the most egregious cases head to court - like Kristy Kirk-Fraser’s $37 million damages claim against former David Jones CEO Mark McInnes in 2010.
“There’s an expectation that as a woman and as a customer service worker, you don’t make a fuss about it. It needs to be rape by a stranger in a dark alley with a knife to their throat to be taken seriously”.
I started working at [an agricultural business] my father managed in a small town when I was 14. One New Zealander asked if I’d dated Maori man, “Oh you should, they’ve got massive penises. My friend’s daughter went with a Maori man and she’s so satisfied”. Because you’re working in retail you’re trapped, you’ve got to go, “Oh, that’s so interesting”.
An older bloke, he’d always chat to me: “My wife’s always complaining I’m going to get the wrong thing - you wouldn’t complain, would you darling.” In the drive-through area, this bloke sat in his car, and shouted to me “Hey, you’d be all right”.
Women sympathised, saying it’s a pain the arse. But generally I felt dismissed when I spoke about it - “you’ll be right, love.” My boss didn’t want to seem overprotective, but also didn’t see it as a big issue. If someone had tried to touch me inappropriately there would have been outrage, but because it’s words it doesn’t seem to count for as much. It needs to be rape by a stranger in a dark alley with a knife to the throat to be taken seriously.
Ruby's story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
Sexual harassment. Know where the line is.^
Power relations are visible in hierarchical workplace relations. But they are invisible in many customer-worker encounters because qualities like deference, availability and friendliness are seen as an essential part of the job.
That helps explain why sexual harassment is seen as a private matter, not a workplace risk or even an issue, says Rae Cooper, associate professor in work and organisational studies at the University of Sydney. She co-authored landmark research in September on how social norms hold people back from making complaints about harassing customers.
It’s not just service culture that helps make harassment harder to spot (and easier to hide). Other workplace conditions contribute. Uniforms, for example, are associated with harassment in many women’s stories. Health professionals report frequent catcalls and “sexy nurse” or “sexy paramedic” when wearing work clothes.
“I had quite a fright from one man who was telling me I looked beautiful in my uniform and I ignored him, and he ended up shouting at me I should be f---ing grateful for the compliment.”
“Come here sexy paramedic.” Derogatory comments, sexual comments. A couple of times a month, I’ll have patients try and grope me, touch my breasts and arse. I had quite a fright from one man who was telling me I looked beautiful in my uniform and I ignored him, and he ended up shouting at me I “should be f---ing grateful” for the compliment.
“Stupid bitches”, “f---ing sluts”, “whores”, “WTF are women doing in this job”. It gets pretty scary sometimes; probably a few times a month I don’t feel safe. We always work in pairs. When there’s a man with me it’s definitely better. The most issues I've had were when I’m with another woman. If it’s really inappropriate we both leave - we’re told that if it’s about our safety we can walk away. You’re encouraged to report any sexual or physical aggression. I report everything so if there's a continuing theme with that patient, at least the next crew that goes to them gets a warning that this guy gropes paramedics or gets aggressive.
* Not her real name.
Nicky's story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
report having experienced discrimination at work#
For decades, feminists have rejected the idea that what a woman wears incites harassment or assault. But some businesses actively encourage the way a uniform or wearing samples of “the merch” effectively makes a worker’s body and appearance part of their job.
At her first job at a juice bar as a teenager, Edie was told the brand’s logo was emblazoned across the chest of uniforms deliberately and that sleazy remarks should be taken as a compliment “that customers think you’re hot.” She lost shifts when she started wearing the largest-size uniform she could find. Later retail jobs also required her to wear revealing versions of the women’s wear she was selling.
You’re so excited to be getting a foot in the door of the world of work. Too soon after, you realised you’ve been hired for how you look, not your work ethic. It’s a kick in the teeth, the expectation that you’ll smile no matter what anyone says to you.
My first job was at [a juice chain] where we were always given tight uniform tops. I was told on my second shift there is a very good reason why the branding is across the chest and the crotch. Little 15-year-old me... That set the tone. Once I was making a smoothie with milk and a customer asked how much extra for breast milk. My manager saw it, just said: “Take it as a compliment that customers think you’re hot”.
Later I worked in a [pay TV] call centre where no one can see what you look like. But still, every so often you’d get someone who’d hear a woman’s voice and think that was carte blanche to say whatever they wanted. One day a guy started to quite explicitly describe his masturbatory fantasies and asked if I offered phone sex. I was quite shaken after and needed to take a break and [management] wouldn’t let me, and reprimanded me for terminating the call.
I’m a youth worker now. You get generic teen boy grossness but for most part it’s actually a lot better. There are supervisors who are willing to step in when a young person says something they haven’t thought through. And you build relationships, trust and respect with the clients.
Edie's story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
have experienced bullying, harassment or violence in their workplace#
Some of the women who told their stories to Fairfax Media felt unable to raise the harassment with management. Others tried, only to be brushed off. Managers made excuses for the perpetrators: “He didn’t know what he was saying”. Or they blamed the victim: “you seem to attract that kind of thing”.
The trauma of harassment is well documented and the way management deals with it can compound it, Elizabeth Broderick, now special advisor to the United Nations on women’s issues, notes. “Women who are disbelieved or rejected when they complain to managers are doubly victimised”.
Sian, a nurse who works in two major public hospitals, says she rarely reports harassment, including rape threats, because the hospital’s technology is so unwieldy it has to be done after work, and she doesn't believe managers or the police take such incidents seriously. Hospitals are businesses - they protect themselves and rarely call the cops, she says. “If they are [called], their attitude is, are you sure you want to report it? Because it’s probably not going to go anywhere.”
When the stress builds and Sian can't face a shift, she takes a mental health day. But she wonders about the effects of long-term trauma, and how it has contributed to bouts of depression she has suffered and other emotional tolls.
“You become cold, desensitised, unable to deal with what [feels like] other people’s trivial emotional problems. Has it contributed to relationships that I’ve had breaking down? When I was living with my [former] partner, I would come home and not really want to hang out with him, not want to talk to him, not want to have sex, not want to do anything. I think that’s quite a common thing.”
Saturday nights are the worst. Sleazy “compliments” and suggestions, men asking for blowjobs, trying to smack my arse. Then there’s the constant condescension and abuse. “Bitch,” “little girl”, “I want to talk to your boss.” When a male nurse or doctor tells them the exact same thing, they’ll listen to them.
I’ve had a patient threaten to rape the female paramedic, make lots of threats about raping my mum. No one said anything. I live locally, and have an unusual name - there’s the genuine potential he could come after you. We’ve had targeted attacks of staff before. That’s the most frightened I’ve been.
One night shift, I needed to move my car and I got followed by two drunk guys who kept trying to put their arms around me, kiss me, I was scared and pushed them off. They came into ED and got themselves triaged for shortness of breath. I told security and the head nurse but they just joked: “So you got yourself a boyfriend; you better look after him”. One male doctor could tell I was really upset; he kicked them out, told them if we catch you harassing the nurses again, we’ll call the police.
Is the widespread violence against nurses because we’re a predominantly female workforce? Or is it just because we’re on the frontline?
Sian's story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
“I actually tried taking cases of workplace harassment to Fair Work Australia [FWC’s previous name] and found them entirely unhelpful. I was just told to go to the website. Fair Work is supposed to be there to help workers, but it feels like they’re there to protect blue-collar men and that women and our needs are just left out of the equation.”Madeleine, Hospitality
Sexual harassment. Know where the line is.^
Making employers potentially liable when their staff members are harmed by harassment was meant to deter bad behaviour and encourage employers to take responsibility. It’s worked that way in terms of staff-on-staff harassment, at least in bigger workplaces. High-profile cases have showed employers they need to take “reasonable steps” to protect staff (such as having a policy, complaints mechanism and training) if they wanted to avoid big, bad media attention and payouts.
But - so far - the threat of vicarious liability has not made employers take customer harassment seriously.
Australian Chamber of Commerce and Industry chief executive James Pearson says employers’ responsibilities in the area are limited, and did not respond to questions about how many companies have policies relating to customer harassment of staff.
“Sexual harassment reflects social attitudes, so responsibility for preventing it at work goes beyond employers… [who have] little ability to control customer behaviour,” Pearson says. He acknowledged policies and training could help employees respond to “inappropriate” customer behaviour.
Nor have workplace or safety regulators ramped up the pressure on bosses.
Where are institutions such as the Fair Work Commission, Fair Work Ombudsman and WorkSafe Victoria/SafeWork NSW? The laws they oversee prohibit bullying, discrimination or harassment in various ways, and protect workers’ right to safe workplaces. But these authorities have shown little interest in testing what they can do about sexual harassment, lawyers and academics says.
That doesn’t seem likely to change any time soon. The institutions themselves responded to questions by deferring to other jurisdictions or declining to comment. One institution removed links to discrimination-related advice from its website altogether after Fairfax inquired why all the links were broken.
That they can’t even see the problem shows how systemic and entrenched sexist assumptions about what “real” risks and who “real” workers are, critics say.
“The behaviours are seen as trivial, non-damaging, short term and OK,” says Paula McDonald, professor of work and organisation at the Queensland University of Technology.
That leaves rights organisations as the main watchdog. But they lack muscle. Human rights organisations can conciliate complaints and extract promises from employers about training. But they have no authority or resources to police them.
Even Sex Discrimination Commissioner Kate Jenkins acknowledges the limitations of her role. The commission relies on individuals bringing complaints, often at great personal cost. This puts an employee at loggerheads with his or her employer. And it can end up making them even more traumatised.
“People making a complaint just want the conduct to stop, and not to suffer as a consequence,” Jenkins says. “It’s confidence in their manager they need, that the manager will back them up and be supportive.” Broader campaigns involving multiple agencies and the community - like public health campaigns - would be more effective, she says.
In hospitality, I was just expected to deal with [groping, leering and sexual aggression] myself and maintain customer service standards, my complaints weren’t taken seriously, and I internalised it - ‘What did I do to deserve it, how am I dressing?” This year I started working as an escort and masseur. Strangely, issues of harassment have been dealt with incredibly well. If someone’s a problem, they’re no longer allowed, so it hasn’t scarred me so much. The biggest thing for me is that I’m just believed that this behaviour is bad; it’s OK that I’m not happy about it and it’s taken seriously - so I don’t give it a second thought.”
In hospitality where I worked for 12 years, I’d regularly experience inappropriate touching, sexualised comments about my body and appearance, have people hit on me. There's an expectation you maintain service standards if it’s coming from a customer. At one pizza chain, the bosses were also quite sexually aggressive, so no one said or did anything. It’s pretty demoralising and dehumanising. It makes you feel really powerless when you’re not valued as a worker. Your contribution to the team isn’t really valued - because if it was your safety, it would surely be important.
This year I started doing erotic massage and escorting. I’ve had pushy clients, those who don’t want to use condoms can be quite aggressive. But strangely, I’ve found that issues of harassment have been dealt with incredibly well. I’m 100 per cent believed, no questions asked. If someone is a problem they are no longer allowed. Our safety, happiness and wellbeing is taken seriously. They know if we have to endure that kind of stuff, the girls will quit.
* Not her real name.
Charlotte's story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
Not good enough, says Lisa Heap, who heads the women’s team at the Victorian Trades Hall Council. She argues regulatory reform is overdue. VTHC is conducting a three-year survey of 500 women’s experiences at work (some of who spoke to Fairfax for this article). Based on its interim results, VTHC has called for sexual harassment to be recognised as workplace violence in a submission to a government review of WorkSafe.
Her call was backed up last week by two new Safe Work Australia reports that call for better awareness of “psychosocial safety” as an OH&S requirement amid rising rates of bullying and harassment in workplaces. Poorly managed psychosocial safety is costing Australian employers $6 billion a year, SWA estimates.
“We’ve known workplace sexual harassment causes injury to workers for decades,” says Heap. “Now, like the tobacco companies, employers are saying ‘oh, we didn’t know. But you can trust us to be responsible — we don’t need regulation’.
“This is a failure that all the authorities, all the regulators and all employers share responsibility for.”
“Men constantly call, trying to get you to describe things for their own self-pleasure ... There is this unique power play where you can’t escape because you are often on your own. You are absolutely vulnerable. And it’s terrifying, totally terrifying...”Chanelle Men's fashion, lingerie
“As a feminist, it was particularly humiliating, because I felt every time I didn’t say anything, I betrayed myself”.Lauren Menswear, Industrial design
“My own ‘no’ isn’t enough; it’s that they don’t want to be cutting some other bloke’s lunch”.Danielle Bartender
“Once a man threw a can of Coke at me and said women have no business talking about this stuff”.Jennie Advanced driving instructor
“What’s really gutting is the student’s interpretation: ‘the bitches didn’t get the joke’”.Laura High school teacher
“I bumped into him outside of work once and I was like, ‘holy shit, what if he follows me home?’”.Cassandra Post office worker
*Not her real name. Names changed for privacy.
^Sexual harassment. Know where the line is. 2014 campaign by the Australian Human Rights Commission.
#Women's Rights at Work, survey of 500 working women by Victorian Trades Hall Council, 2016.
Men just assume because you’re working in a sensual environment that you are available for them. There is this unique power play where you can’t escape because you are often on your own. You are absolutely vulnerable and it’s terrifying, totally terrifying.
Once I was on my own and a gentleman came in for a particular garment for his wife. He persisted in telling me about an event they would be attending where it would be fine for her to be cornered in a room with 15 men trying to assault her at the same time while he enjoyed himself watching her. He just didn’t stop. He followed me when I moved away. After 15 minutes he finally leaves and I call management straight away. I’m really shaken up, but I’m told to just get over it, don’t let it bother you. I felt so victimised; so violated, so angry.
It was the same when I worked for [a male fashion chain]. There were rules that women could only wear black, have a full face of makeup, be stylised in an overly sexualised way - to meet the brand image. That sets up a vulnerability, and every single day I’d get harassment from clients. Yet there’s no step-by-step guidance on how to deal with it. You talk about theft, but you never talk about harassment.
Chanelle’s story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
It’s so normalised I almost don’t notice it. “What’s your number?” “When do you finish?” Comments about my appearance. Not taking ‘no’ for an answer. People think once they’ve had a few drinks, it’s OK.
Once a guy at a function persistently asked for my phone and Facebook details, then grabbed me when I left the bar and asked me for a hug. He moved really suddenly, kissing me on the mouth. I was working by myself. Other patrons made him leave.
When I told my boss, saying we should email his employers [who hosted the function], his response was “what would that really achieve” and “you seem to attract that kind of thing”.
You’re meant to have a book to write incidents in under Responsible Service of Alcohol regulations but no one does or nothing eventuates. The only response that works is “I have a boyfriend.” It really frustrates me that my own “no” isn’t enough; it’s that they don’t want to be cutting some other bloke’s lunch.
It’s seen as normal; something women should just cop on the chin at work. We’re paid the same but if some guy was hitting a man during his shift that just wouldn’t be tolerated.
Danielle’s story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
Casual sexism, harassment is a weekly experience - because students have no boundaries.
Snapchats of your breasts or your bum. A photo on Facebook of a fellow teacher and a student eating lunch on a school excursion tagged “I want to tap that.” A young man came up behind a colleague and said “have you ever been raped by a priest?” in front of a group of his friends.
Occasionally it escalates. My home group had to write haikus, and one student wrote about how I should sit on his face and wiggle. He repeatedly read out this line in front of me and other colleagues.
He got a suspension; his mother was distraught. But what’s really gutting is the student’s interpretation of the event after all that is “she chose to get offended; the bitches didn’t get the joke, they should be less uptight”.
This casual sexism also impacts your female students to whom you have a duty of care, and that breaks my heart. When that student is reciting sexist poetry to me and behaving in a toxic way, he’s also sending out signals to females in the class that this is the way you talk to women.
Laura’s story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
The worst is a business customer who spends quite a lot of money, so he gets away with it. Touching my hair, touching my hand when I put something down on the counter. “You’re looking good today” with a lingering up and down. “I’ll be seeing you in my daydreams”.
I say “stop it, that’s inappropriate”, but he totally ignores me. There’s that you-have-to-be-nice-to-customers line that you can’t transgress, and there are definitely men who take advantage of that. They think it’s funny to make you uncomfortable.
I bumped into him outside of work once in a shopping centre close to where I work and I was like, “holy shit, what if he follows me home?” I’m worried about bumping into him when I’m not separated by a counter.
If a co-worker talked like that to me I could report them in an instant. But there’s no mechanism to protect you from the customer because you’re there to serve.
* Not her real name.
Australia Post said its policies prohibit all forms of harassment and discrimination, with mechanisms including workplace officers and a confidential hotline promoted across all its sites. “All employees are urged to speak up about any unsafe work practices”, a spokesperson said.
Cassandra’s story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
I work mainly with teenagers in schools and fleet drivers from big companies like the banks. When they arrive they think I’m the tea lady, ask where the coffee and the toilets are. Their faces drop when they see I’m going to be their instructor. I have had men walk out, say demeaning things, question or contradict everything I’m saying, attack me. Once a man threw a can of Coke at me at a conference in London and said women have no business talking about this stuff.
I teach two or three courses a week and nearly every day there’s some kind of micro-aggression; little things that are hard to complain about because they’re subtle.
Year in, year out it does drag you down. You start to question whether you do have the right to be there as a woman. Even though I’m very highly qualified, and I own the company. About 99 percent of the time I’m sure the men I'm teaching wouldn't get physically violent, but I am occasionally scared of how angry they can get, just because their instructor is a woman.
Jennie’s story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.
Working in a men’s suit store, my boss would encourage me to flirt and deal with male patrons’ sleaziness to make sales. Customers would say: “If I was wearing this would you be down for it?” And I’d go “Yeah, if you were wearing that I would be so down for it.” It was humiliating. I felt I only got the job because I was a woman; that I had no control in an unsafe workplace. I felt like everything was about how I looked, not how good a job I could do.
After finishing my degree, I was working at a design studio in a relatively senior position. I’d sometimes have to work at a factory with a mostly male workforce. There was porn on the walls, constant rude jokes and sexual innuendo, and people laughing at my obvious discomfort. In the design studio, the director would often introduce me to clients either as the “office person” or with sexual innuendo about the age gap between us. Then he would take credit for my work, brazenly, while I was present in the room.
As a feminist, it was particularly humiliating, because I felt every time that happened and I didn’t say anything, I betrayed myself, my own values and politics. I internalised it and blamed myself, not him.
Lauren’s story is one of many. Sexual harassment of workers by customers and clients is rife in many industries.