My Top Ten Supermarket Songs (Volume 2)

Back to the supermarket, but this time we're doing our shopping the generic way. Own brand songs all the way... and one of those topics that (coincidentally) throws up a bunch of my all-time favourite artists...

Special mention to Inbetweener by Sleeper, which doesn't actually mention a supermarket but the video does take place in one (also a laundrette), as well as featuring Dale 'Supermarket Sweep' Winton, shaking his Pringles for all to see. Thanks to Mark for reminding me of that one! And yes, Mark, I'm with you on Louise Wener...

10. Iggy Pop & Green Day - Supermarket

Sounds exactly like you'd imagine a Green Day song fronted by Iggy would sound.

Everybody sells
And everybody buys...

9.  Mull Historical Society - The Supermarket Strikes Back / Barcode Bypass

This week's BOGOF offer, two great Supermarket Songs from Colin MacIntyre.

8. Courtney Barnett - Dead Fox

My favourite from Courtney. Sounds like she goes shopping with Stephen Malkmus...

Jen insists that we buy organic vegetables
And I must admit that I was a little skeptical at first
A little pesticide can't hurt
Never having too much money, I get the cheap stuff at the supermarket
But they're all pumped up with shit
A friend told me that they stick nicotine in the apples...

7. Gene - Supermarket Bombscare

Just a b-side, from their last album, Libertine, in 2001. Bloody gorgeous though. 

6. Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Abominable Snowman In The (Super)Market

Because it scans better, Jonathan reduces Supermarket to Market for the majority of this song, but his intro makes it clear the market... just like this song... is Super.

Two weeks running for JR. He's obviously a fan of supermarket songs too.

5. Bruce Springsteen - Queen of the Supermarket

Ah, the critics cried. This is what happened to the Born To Run rebel? Writing love songs to check-out girls? Yes, I've actually heard this called the Worst Song The Boss Ever Wrote.

What an ignorant response to a song that actually showcases the same blue-collar romanticism and heartfelt balladry Bruce built much of his career on. And he's growing old gracefully, guys: no longer chasing the factory girls underneath the boardwalk where they all promise to unsnap their jeans, here he just wants the checkout girl to take off that company cap that hides her beautiful hair. 

This is why the critics know jack. Because they're so obsessed with cool, they forget real world romance.

Also, no-one criticised Billy for sharing similar sentiments as he got older...

4. Billy Bragg - Brickbat

I steal a kiss from you
In the supermarket
I walk you down the aisle
You fill my basket
And through it all
The stick I take
Is worth it with the love we make

And let's not forget: he used to want to plant bombs at The Last Night of the Proms.

3. The Kinks - Come Dancing

Included here purely because it's one of my all-time favourite Kinks records, and probably the first one I loved. (I was a child of the 80s.)

They put a parking lot 
On the piece of land
Where the supermarket used to stand
Before that they put up a bowling alley
On the site that used to be the local palais...

I love the bit where the two silhouettes are "saying goodnight" by the garden gate... only for the girl's mum to shriek out at them: "What are you doing out there? Come on! Are you gonna be out there all night?"

2. The Clash - Lost In The Supermarket

Mick Jones sings this one, but it's a Strummer song. The anti-consumerism lyrics guarantee that.

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

Have I irked the musos this week? No? How about this...

I prefer the Ben Folds version.

Shhh!

1. Pulp - Common People

Inevitable, really. Arguably the greatest single of the Britpop era (if not the greatest song), and certainly the greatest video, in which tiny Jarvis gets pushed around a supermarket by Sadie Frost...

The bit where Jarvis says, "I'll see what I can do..." makes me laugh every time I watch it. Seems ridiculous that they edited the chorus on youtube to remove "...and screw..." I don't remember them doing that back in the day. Dancing and drinking is fine, boys and girls, but let's not put up any shelves afterwards...

I took her to a supermarket
I don't why but I had to start it somewhere...

Which one do you want to check out?

October #4: Blitzen Trapper

4. Blitzen Trapper - Nights Were Made For Love

This is one of those bands who I've heard good things about for a few years now but never really paid much attention to. But two things happened recently which gave me the opportunity...

Firstly, as mentioned previously, I rejoined eMusic. I used to be a member a few years back but belt-tightening and a sense that I'd exhausted all the good music on there caused me to put my membership on hold. I gave the site a trawl again recently and was pleased by how many desirable records I saw... either they've enlisted a bunch of new artists or my tastes have broadened. Although I'd always prefer to have the CD, the fact I can download a full album for under a fiver (half that if they're having one of their booster pack sales) was enough to tempt me back. The belt gets ever tighter (and not only because of middle-aged spread).

Secondly, I heard Bob Harris play a great track from BT's latest effort, All Across This Land on his late night / early morning show a few weeks back. When I saw the album on eMusic, I hit download... and it's quickly turned into one of my favourite albums of the year (although, as with many of my favourite albums this year, it was actually released in 2015).

All Across This Land has a classic American rock sound - a couple of the tracks could well be Tom Petty at his best, while the one I've chosen today is Bob Seger doing Springsteen. I'm at the age now where there's no bigger compliment of a record than to say: you thought they didn't make them like this anymore. Well, think again...

All the boys sit on the fender
As they watch the sun go down
And the lights shine like the end of things
On the darkest side of town
Where we grew up here in Oregon
Raking fields after the rain
And the west was all the world was
Now the west just fades away
Yeah the best of friends
The worst of luck
It never turned our hearts to stone
We were stupid, strange and young at heart
And all we wanted was to rock and roll
Yeah all we wanted was to rock and roll

October #5 - Dexys

5. Dexys - Grazing In The Grass

One Day I'm Going To Soar, Kevin Rowland's comeback album, was one of my favourite discs of 2012. So I was very excited to hear of a new release from the band who no longer Run at Midnight, even though the idea of a covers album focussing on "Irish and Country Soul" (whatever that means) set alarm bells ringing for many.

Covers have long been a part of Rowland's act: from forgotten soul acts like Chuck Wood and Johnny Johnson to Van Morrison's big Jackie Wilson tribute... or was that Jockey?

However, the real reason some might have feared a Dexys' covers album goes back to Rowland's infamous 1999 solo album, My Beauty (his second: sadly, I've never been able to track down an affordable copy of his 1988 solo record, The Wanderer). Here, Rowland abandoned his usual sartorial elegance in favour of this little ensemble...

...a move which led to the critics ripping him a new one and the pissed-up revellers at Reading Festival sharing the contents of their beer bottles with him (i.e. after they'd drunk the beer and then refilled them).

The thing is - and I've never been ashamed to admit this - I like My Beauty. It's a cracking set of interpretations: defiant, personal and wilfully anti-muso (the covers include Mama Cass, The Monkees and Whitney Houston... or George Benson, if you remember the original). So I was actually very excited by a similar project from the rejuvenated Dexys... perhaps a little too much.

Dexys Do Irish & Country Soul is a curious record, and though the critics have been far kinder to it, I haven't warmed to it as I did My Beauty 17 years ago. The title's a little misleading, for a start: yes, you'd expect I'll Take You Home Again, Kathleen and Curragh of Kildare... but how Irish are Jerome Kern, Barry Gibb, Diane Warren, Joni Mitchell or Red Stewart? The selection of songs is even more wilfully obtuse than on My Beauty, but though the arrangements are gorgeous and Rowland's voice rarely better, there are times it still feels a little karaoke for me: particularly on You Wear It Well and Warren's How Do I Live? (made famous by LeAnn Rimes). There's less re-interpretation than I'd expected, less of Rowland's usual originality. I don't now, maybe it'll grow on me.

All that said, this one track's an absolute belter. Originally by 60s soulsters The Friends of Distinction... but Rowland makes it a true Dexys classic. Can you dig it, baby?

My Top Ten Supermarket Songs (Volume 1)

This week, I thought we'd pop down the supermarket. This is Volume 1 because it's about specific supermarket chains. More generic supermarket songs will follow...

Sadly, I couldn't find any songs about Morrisons, Waitrose or Ocado...


10. FINE FAIR: Toy Dolls - Nowt Can Compare To Sunderland Fine Fair

After Jason Donovan, I have no more shame...

9. TRADER JOE'S: Tristan Prettyman - The Rebound

Tristan Prettyman cruises her local Trader Joe's supermarket looking for guys who are on the rebound. Watch out with that banana.

8. ALDI: Fat White Family - Breaking Into Aldi

In with a bullet, this brand new track from the FWF, with a little help from my second favourite Lennon child...

Heard this on 6music the other day and thought it sounded great.

I understand Marmite is still available in Aldi. No need to break in.

7. SAFEWAY: Neil Young & Crazy Horse - Safeway Cart

Neil Young has written so many songs, there will come a time when he runs out of subject matter. Here's one about a shopping trolley... from the same album on which he wrote a song about a Piece of Crap. Great album though.

6. ASDA: Suede - Asda Town

B-side of The Wild Ones, one of my favourite Suede singles; this actually sounds like the stuff Brett would release when he went solo a few years later. I saw him play live during that tour and it was a very special, slightly rakish, king of night.

And like the birds we'll fly tomorrow
And like the birds we'll fly
From your Asda Town
Never coming down
'Cos they're take, taking it away

I'd like to see Asda use this in their Christmas TV ad this year. Sod Take That.

See also Millionaire by The Puppini Sisters, which is rather nice too.

5. WAL-MART: PJ Harvey - The Hope Street Demolition Project

Brought to you by the owners of Asda...

Possibly stretching the idea of a concept album beyond its natural elasticity, but when Polly Jane kicks out on her latest album, she's as good as ever.

They're gonna put a Wal-Mart hereeeeee...

See also sunrise in a Wal-Mart Parking Lot by Clem Snide... it can be so beautiful.

4. STOP 'N' SHOP: Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Roadrunner

Yes, it is a real supermarket chain. Jonathan didn't make it up.

3. SAINSBURY'S: Saint Etienne - Teenage Winter / Amanda Palmer - Leeds United

This one was a tie.

Teenage Winter is possibly my favourite Saint Etienne track. Sarah Cracknell could read a shopping list and make it sound amazing. Plus, Bob Stanley really does love old records... as much as we do. This song is about the death of pop music as a physical object for teenagers to cherish. Once you get that, it's one of the most heartbreaking songs you'll ever hear...

Mums with pushchairs outside Sainsbury's
Tears in their eyes
They'll never buy a Gibb Brothers record again
Their old 45s gathering dust
The birthday cards they couldn't face throwing away
Teenage winter coming down
Teenage winter coming down

Still in Sainsbury's, we find Mrs. Gaiman flashing back to the time she was dating Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs. He gave her a Leeds Utd. jersey as a pressie. She lost it.

But who needs love when there's Law and Order?
And who needs love when there's Dukes of Hazard?
And who needs love
When the sandwiches are wicked
And they know you at the Mac store?

No, the Mac store is not a supermarket. But I can't mention this song without quoting that chorus, because I love it. As for the supermarket...

Sure, I admire you
Sure, you inspire me, but you've been not getting back so
I'll wait at the Sainbury's
Countin' my change, making bank on the upcoming roster

I'm guessing maybe Ricky took her down the Leeds Sainsbury's one time too. He knows how to spoil a girl, that Wilson lad...

2. THE CO-OP: The Jam - A Town Called Malice

I give Weller a hard time on this blog occasionally... but when he's on form, no one can touch him...

A whole street's belief in Sunday's roast beef
Gets dashed against The Co-Op
To either cut down on beer or the kids' new gear
It's a big decision in a town called Malice

See also Saturday's Kids: Saturday's girls work in Tesco's and Woolworths! (Not anymore, sadly.)


1. TESCO: Half Man Half Biscuit - L’Enfer C’Est Les Autres

I had to give this One to Nigel Blackwell because not only does he use that gloriously misinterpreted quote from Sartre as his title (sadly, Jean-Paul wasn't quite being as misanthropic as Nigel and I might wish), but also because this track contains (among various other hilarious ramblings) perhaps the best Half Man Half Biscuit line ever... via Johnny Cash, of course.

I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die

From the top HMHB album 90 Bisodol. What else do you need to know? 

Some people don’t know how to walk on the pavement these days

Well it’s not that difficult, there’s hardly a whole host of waysHere they come, love’s young dream, arm in arm, approaching me 
Now, I’m not looking for your smile
I’m just asking for some single file 
But it’s not forthcoming so I have to assume 
That this narrow path belongs to you 
And therefore you must beThe Duke of Westminster and his good lady wife 
So, I tell you what, I’ll just walk in the road
How about I just walk in the road?
You stay as you are, and I’ll just walk in the road

How about that first verse? Is it just me...?

Other Top Tesco songs (I could have done a Top Ten, but I'm waiting for the sponsorship deal to kick in) came from Lily Allen (LDN), The Pogues (Rain Street*), King Krule (Easy Easy) and Glass Animals (Life Itself).

*Careful, that one's a bit rude.

Which one gets your custom? Whichever you pick, it's still 5p for a carrier bag...

October #6: De La Soul

6. De La Soul (featuring Snoop Dogg) - Pain

Your music means everything to you...
Are you concerned about the status of your playlist 
And precious collection?
We feel you
And we're here to help...
Have no fear: De La Soul is here!

I'd be lying if I claimed to be an expert in hip hop. I like some of it, mainly the stuff that tells interesting stories or has a witty undercurrent and isn't just about (to quote Scroobius Pip) "guns, bitches 'n' bling".

De La Soul are one of those groups I've always admired from a distance, enjoying (even loving) some of the singles but never really immersing myself in a whole album. However, a couple of intriguing reviews and the fact that it was available on eMusic led me to take a punt on their new crowdfunded offering, ...And The Anonymous Nobody, and I've found myself drawn back to it quite a lot over the past couple of weeks.

Pain seems to be the "impact track" (apparently singles don't exist anymore) of the moment and it's definitely a stand-out, due to the laid back beat, chiming chorus and guest appearance by a certain Mr. Dogg (no long a Lion, it seems: I try to keep up on these things). But it's by no means the only high point on the album: other ecletic guest stars include Jill Scott, David Byrne and Justin Hawkins (no - it works: it really works!), while even ubiquitous hipster Damon Albarn manages not to grate too much. Yep, I'm pleasantly surprised by how much I'm enjoying this record...

October #7 - Guy Clark

7. Guy Clark - L.A. Freeway

Amid all the more high profile musical losses we've felt this year, it's worth sparing a moment to mourn Guy Clark who died in May at the age of 74. I'll hold my hand up and say I didn't really know him until it was too late; it was only when I heard Bob Harris paying eulogy to him that my interest was piqued, leading me to purchase a compilation of his first two albums, Ol' No.1 and Texas Cookin' from the mid-70s. I've been listening to it on and off ever since...

My favourite track is LA Freeway: it's just one of those songs that makes my heart a little lighter. It's a "gotta get out of this town" song, recorded in the same year as Born To Run. Clark never really broke the big time as a performer: damned if I know why from listening to these records. At least his songs were appreciated by other artists - he's been covered by Johnny Cash, Alan Jackson, Bobby Bare and Brad Paisley, among many others. You can pick up these two discs (in one) NEW for under three quid at certain online retailers, and I'd heartily recommend you do so if you like a bit of classy country storytelling...

Pack up all your dishes.
Make note of all good wishes.
Say goodbye to the landlord for me.
That son of a bitch has always bored me.

Throw out them LA papers
And that moldy box of vanilla wafers.
Adios to all this concrete.
Gonna get me some dirt road back street

If I can just get off of this LA freeway
Without getting killed or caught
I'd be down that road in a cloud of smoke
For some land that I ain't bought bought bought...

October #8 - Look Park

8. Look Park - Minor Is The Lonely Key

Fountains of Wayne are one of my favourite bands of the last 20 years. They only released five albums in that time, but I loved every one. Since their last one came out in 2011, I was hoping this might be the year they popped up to surprise us again. Imagine my heartbreak then, on hearing they'd called it a day... only to find some succour on discovering that half of the songwriting partnership behind FoW, Chris Collingwood, had formed a new band, Look Park.

Early interviews with Collingwood suggested that Look Park had a different sound to the traditional FoW power-pop and that his songwriting had also developed and "matured". That's a word which fills me with dread when I hear it from bands who excel at quirkiness and humour, and when Collingwood also revealed that his former FoW partner, Adam Schlesinger was responsible for putting more of the the f-u-n in FoUNtains, I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. (Collingwood even invoked the B-word as an influence, which is never a good sign. Oasis, anybody?)

Anyway, I like the Look Park record. Collingwood's voice is always a pleasure, and there are some beautiful images in his songwriting. It's a sad album though, and it lacks the wit and novelistic approach to character that made the Fountains so special. It's a fine solo album, but as with most solo albums, it does make you yearn to hear the full band get back together. (And let's face it, Look Park is a pretty bland band name.) I should probably spend a little time with Schlesinger's side-project, Tinted Windows while I'm waiting for the reunion Collingwood describes as unlikely.

Here's my favourite song on the record...