Today at 2.15pm, 12 weeks ago, I was sitting in the car at my boy Jack's school waiting for him to come out and go home. We stopped at Maccas for a famous Jessie slushie that she loved for us to bring home to her. We arrived home to silence with Pepsi (Jessie’s dog) laying on her bed and what came next was unimaginable. Jack and I were about to find my baby chook gone. She left us. There was no life left.
This letter goes to all the bullies out there...
You think that your words mean anything. You think that saying the littlest things don’t hurt. You think that it's okay to say horrible things to people, to our kids, to my baby girl. You think it’s a power trip to make fun of someone, to put them down, to treat them like crap.
It's not okay. It will never be okay.
Yes, my baby girl had depression, anxiety and an eating disorder. For three and a half years she went undiagnosed. My baby girl had mental illness, but is this why my chook ended her life? No.
Does that make it okay to put her down even more? Does that make it okay to give her crap and say things that hurt? No, it doesn't.
As her mother, I know these things do kill people. Yet what pushed my baby chook over the edge was the fact that my Jessie got bullied to the extent that threatening messages - death threats - were actually sent to myselkf and my daughter. They would ring her, say horrible things, then hang up. There was a lot of bullying.
Some people say kids don’t always grow up in the right household so they aren't taught what to do or the rightr way to act. And I agree. But I also know that kids need understand there are consequences to their actions. Kids these days have no consequences and they know it. The kids know that they can get away with this as there will be nothing done. Does this make it right? Of course not.
We need to stand up and do what we can and keep fighting to stop you bullies from doing what you do without consequence.
It makes it even worse that you can put someone down who is already in pain. To the bullies who have excuses - that you did it because you too were bullied, or you did it because you heard a rumour, or you did it because you just wanted to be tough - there is no excuse at all.
None whatsoever. Words hurt and you can never take them back after you say them, so choose your words carefully. If you wouldn’t like someone to say them to you, then shut your mouth or stop being a keyboard warrior. Just don't say it.
"What pushed my baby chook over the edge was the fact that my Jessie got bullied... "
Bullies hide behind their keyboards and put words out there that crumble and devastate someone. You are not just attacking the person themself, you are attacking their parents, their siblings, their family, and their friends.
What you bullies do is leave innocent young people feeling worthless, hopeless and living in a nightmare. What you bullies do is leave the family devastated for the rest of their lives. Would you like the thought of your parents living day-to-day without you? Would you like your siblings going through life without you? Would you like to never get a driver's licence, go to a formal, have children of your own? I don’t think so.
My baby chook actually has wrote down that most people go to sleep and have nightmares, but she said goes to sleep okay but her everyday life was a living nightmare. Is this fair? Is this okay?
No.
I'm left with a hole so big that not one person can fill it.
I have lost like no other. I'm left with surviving life, not living it. I'm left with a hole so big that not one person can fill it. I'm left spending every day without my chook. I'm left with nothing because you decided to take my beautiful, sensitive, gorgeous daughter and use her for your power trips and to make you feel better. How do you feel now?
You hide behind the law because there is none and there are no consequences for your actions. Well, guess what? I'm fighting and will continue to fight for change because these kids are so worth fighting for.
I do apologise for my anger in this letter to the bullies, but I am angry and hurt and a lot of other things. Love is the key: please just love one another.
To my chook, life will never be the same. I will always miss you and love you so much. I will continue to fight for you. Each and every day I will get up and keep going. No one will ever stop me because you are worth more than anything in this world. Love you so much chook and I wish I could go back 12 weeks to this time and day and have it over again. I would of moved mountains for you baby girl and your memory will live on. The people and systems that have come up against my journey to continue your fight will stop and take a look at this and change. I promise you that. Take care chook and my love is always with you. Love mum xxx
Note: You can support Mel's petition for tough anti-bullying laws at Change.org
If you need help or to speak to a professional, you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit their Crisis Support Chat. For an LBGTQI+ dedicated service call QLife on 1800 184 537 or visit their website.
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