If you’re going to front load on national security trigger words, at least make it into a mad lib. Like:

I was riding my _C4_loaded_cesna_ from school to _fly_into_Shea_Stadium_ for dinner, when I saw an ice cream _car_bomb_ and decided I wanted to buy a _fertilizer_ cone. So, I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a _box_cutter_ and offered it to the _environmentalist_ who gave me _anthrax_ in change, and handed me a _fertilizer_ cone. As soon as I got back on my _cesna_ I saw a _animal_liberation_ coming from around the _wikileaks_. I pedalled as fast as I could down _Pakistan_ Ave, and made it all the way to the _uranium_plant_ before I spilled my _fertilizer_ all over my _pressure_cooker_. I know that stains worse than an _qaeda_. So when I got home, my _mullah_ saw the stain on my _pressure_cooker_, and sent me straight to my _gtmo_ without any dinner.

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