COLLINGWOOD 4.9 11.17 15.22 20.23 (143) BRISBANE LIONS 0.0 3.0 7.2 10.5 (65)
Goals: Collingwood: M Cox 4, A Treloar 3, B Crocker 3, J White 3, A Fasolo, B Grundy, D Moore, J Blair, J de Goey, T Adams, T Varcoe. Brisbane Lions: D Zorko 4, J Walker 2, D Rich, J Green, R Bewick, R Lester.
Best: Collingwood: Treloar, Pendlebury, Sidebottom, Blair, White, Adams. Brisbane Lions: Zorko, Martin, Beams.
Injuries: Collingwood: M Cox (hand). Brisbane Lions: D Beams (knee soreness), D McStay (groin), replaced in selected side by J Green.
Umpires: Scott Jeffery, Sam Hay, Nicholas Foot.
Official Crowd: 24,552 at Gabba.
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Magpies thump pathetic Lions
Brisbane's woes compounded with a horrendous 78-point defeat to Collingwood.
Take a moment to let this statistic sink in. At half-time at the Gabba, Collingwood had made 28 scoring shots to the Lions' three. Â Seventeen of them had been behinds, which saved the Lions from total humiliation, but needless to say the game was safely in the Magpies' keeping. The inside-50 count alone was 41-15.
They could easily have been 100 points up. At half-time! And yet, as bad as the Lions were – and they were unbelievably bad – they still couldn't make Collingwood look very good.  Of the Pies' 114 kicks to half-time, 40 were ineffective.
But as deplorable as Collingwood's skills were, the Lions were even worse. Of 82 kicks, 15 were ineffective and another 15 were clangers. They didn't notch their first score until 14 minutes into the second quarter, when Dayne Zorko marked and goaled, and he followed it immediately with a second. He finished with four.
After kicking 4.9 in the first quarter, though – including four that hit the post – the Magpies had managed to locate their kicking boots, sort of, routing the Lions with another 7.8 for the second quarter. Some of the misses were comical – Greenwood from 20 metres out from a set shot, De Goey on the run from 15.
On the other hand, they had Mason Cox, the giant Texan who frankly looked like he'd been playing the game longer than many of his teammates and opponents alike. He kicked four goals. And Adam Treloar, who runs his guts out every time he plays. And two constants in Scott Pendlebury and Steele Sidebottom.
The Magpies moved the ball quickly and directly, frequently sweeping the ball from defence to attack in the blink of an eye, only to let themselves down with misdirected handballs or poor finishing. In that regard, they looked a lot like the Lions, when they actually turn up to play: quick but not especially skilled labourers.
But they didn't turn up. Lions coach Justin Leppitsch is under far less pressure than Collingwood counterpart Nathan Buckley, but this was surely one of the worst performances his team has dished up in his time at the helm. Buckley's position is not much more secure this week, given the standard of opposition his team faced.
The Lions managed to staunch the bleeding for a time in the third quarter, with four early goals, only to then give the same number back in return in embarrassingly easy fashion. True to form, the Magpies added another five behinds for good measure, four from very gettable set shots.
But after edging the Gold Coast Suns in round four, the Lions have lost to the Western Bulldogs by 53 points, Port Adelaide by 77, and now Collingwood by 78 – and that margin absolutely flattered them. In between, they did well to run Sydney to the wire, which only shows that the gap between this side's best and worst remains vast.
Of the entire team, only Zorko, Stefan Martin and perhaps Dayne Beams could look Leppitsch in the eye after the game.
 It said much for the state of Queensland football that the loud boos for Beams early on came from the Collingwood fans, who seemed close to outnumbering an otherwise near-silent home crowd at the Gabba.