By Robyn Doreian
David Hobson
Opera singer and composer, 55, married
David Hobson: What I know about womenCredit: Wayne Taylor
Anne is eight years older than me, so when I was growing up she was slightly out of reach. Ruth is 18 months younger and was a tomboy, so she would kick a footy with me.
They were all pretty sporty, but in a way I hungered for a brother.
Our house in Ballarat [Victoria] was very loud, as there was a lot of music. My father, Phil, had a painting and wallpaper business but he was also an amateur singer with a lovely light baritone voice.
My sisters were encouraged to learn piano and I learnt to play the violin, but right after a lesson I'd jump out the window to go and play footy. My father told my mother, Kathleen, not to worry about my distraction, that I had a voice, and I'd be able to sing.
Mum is a very demure woman and softly spoken. She's not someone who talks about herself. Rather, she is a person who is interested in others.
Hers was a quiet musical influence, as she gave me Music for Pleasure albums, books on composers, and took me to concerts. She gently guided me because she enjoyed all of these things herself.
I didn't acknowledge her strength until later in life. It surfaced during times of adversity, like when I was diagnosed with lymphoma at 16.
I remember the afternoon light coming through my bedroom window, and my father breaking down in front of me. He didn't mean to. He was embarrassed. I don't know what Mum was thinking. There was never any panic, she was just positive and calming.
Mum is 86 and has lived on her own since Dad died 20 years ago. She is incredibly independent and a woman of faith. She arranges the church flowers at St Peter's in Ballarat and is on the Friends Of The Botanical Gardens in Ballarat committee.
My attraction to women was sparked during a family holiday to Point Lonsdale [Victoria]. We had an au pair who was 19; I wasn't even a teen. It was naive magnetism but I remember thinking she was pretty.
I was 15 when I had my first serious girlfriend. We met through my sister, Ruth, and dated on and off for seven years. She loved music and also painted and drew. She had an enigmatic quality.
At that age you are not sure what attracts you, but it definitely fired a sense of romance. I loved that feeling, that I was Heathcliff walking across the moors, looking for Cathy.
There was a period when we separated, which fuelled a sense of heightened drama. I'd sit at the piano and thump away.
At 28, I won the Dame Joan Sutherland scholarship, but I never sang with Dame Joan. I did meet her and she was down-to-earth and charming, without a hint of the diva about her – that only came out in her extraordinary voice. Dame Joan was a great example of how to be an opera singer and a performing artist – both on and off the stage.
I met my wife, Amber, in 1992, when we were performing L'Italiana in Algeri.
I was the tenor and she was a ballerina. She was a blonde bombshell who could dance extraordinarily well, full of life and unaware of her looks. Ballerinas are a different breed. They work though physical pain to achieve artistic beauty and have a work ethic that is beyond most people.
We split up for a while, as we weren't sure about things. Then one night in 1996, I had an epiphany that I could not go on without her. It was like a lightning strike. I remember proposing to her in Newtown, Sydney, in the rain. And I'm pretty sure I went down on one knee.
When I look at my children, Madi, 18, and Sam, 15, I know why I am with Amber and how lucky I am.
Madi is independent, like her mum. When she was in year 9, she wanted to change schools because she didn't have the electives she needed. [Later] she raised most of the money herself to buy a car. She's not wanting of things, neither is Sam. I love that quality about them.
I also like that they have seen Amber as a full-time mum, then a ballet teacher and now this powerhouse businesswoman with her own ballet school. Yet she is still involved with the kids at school and the community. Like my mother, she contributes locally. Amber always puts others first.
My children are not interested in my career. When I return from a tour, Madi says, "How was your holiday, Dad?"
But she is a sensitive and caring girl.
My extended family provides lots of nice role models for her. None more so than Amber, who is intelligent, confident and capable. She's a woman I have inordinate respect for. •
David Hobson performs at Opera in the Vineyards, Roche Estate, Hunter Valley, October 8. See rocheestate.com.au.