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Joined January 2007

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  1. GOOD MORNING, TIME FOR A CUP OF wait this isn't coffee it's tea noooooOOOOOO [wakes up] WHOA I HAD THE WORST DREAM WELL COFFEE TIME

  2. It's Thursday and that means TT Clue at 10pm CT. Let's play!

  3. aren't dogs just the greatest

  4. make every day a sick day

  5. please remove your hats and stand as we solemnly celebrate the first "humpday" of twenty seventeen

  6. HOW TO GET A LOAN 1. hide & don't tell anyone where you are 2. oh "a loan" 3. whoa this is a lot of paperwork 4. forget it leave me a loan

  7. Knock knock Who's there The police The police who The police who are about to kick in your door Oh man you guys are my favorite band Thanks!

  8. RT if you want to see a WWII movie where a zombie helicopter crew fights a vampire tank unit for control of a werewolf village

  9. 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17 that's 20 17s

  10. HOW TO MAKE COFFEE POPS 1. ok dad, listen up 2. put coffee in filter 3. turn on coffeemaker 4. that's how you make coffee, pops

  11. (to the tune of Auld Lang Syne) crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap craaaaap

  12. Happy new year! Party until you forget your resolutions

  13. next year at this time let's all look back and remember how great this tweet was

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