A couple of weeks ago, my husband woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me he was dying.
He’d woken in a sweat, had a sore throat and apparently his body ached so bad he couldn’t sleep. When I told him to just take a Panadol and go back to sleep, he accused me of not caring and made a big performance of dragging himself out of bed to the medicine cabinet.
You see, my husband prides himself on never getting sick. He works outdoors, in all kinds of weather, and reckons this is what steels his immune system from the onslaught of ailments that find a welcome host in my own pampered, soft and inactive body. While I suffer through a whole range of viruses, colds and infections throughout the year, he rarely even gets a sniffle.
But when he does get sick, there’s a drama about it that would win him a standing ovation at the theatre.
Cue eye roll
A few weeks ago, the teachers at my son’s daycare centre alerted parents to the fact that influenza was circulating – and, as luck would have it, both of our kids went down with it in the first week of the school holidays. Thankfully, it was mild and after just a week of rest they were both back to bouncing off the walls.
My husband, on the other hand, took it to the extreme, breathing in gasps, moaning loudly whenever I was in earshot and relaying every ache and discomfort in minute detail. This wasn’t your everyday influenza. Oh no. This was Man Flu (capitalisation intended).
Unlike normal influenza, this devastating condition takes a man’s need for intensive practical care, ongoing compassion, endless patience and unwavering sympathy to a whole other level.
Early one morning during his ‘period of incapacitation’, I woke to alarming animal-like groaning coming from the bathroom. I rushed in to find the husband in the bath looking very sombre indeed.
“I think I need to go to hospital,” he said.
It took all my resolve not to roll my eyes and go back to bed. He didn’t really need to go to the hospital. He just required a towel down, fresh pyjamas, some more cold and flu tablets and reassurance that I was there for him in these, his darkest Man Flu hours.
Sharing the love
If I seem uncaring of my husband’s plight, let me put things into context for you:
I had two sick kids at home all week as well as the husband. I was also working (from home), caring for all and washing my hands like Lady MacBeth in a desperate attempt to avoid catching the flu myself.
But by the end of the week I was run ragged and – POW – I went down with it, too.
Unlike my husband, I didn’t have a full-time carer to cater to my sickly needs – nor five luxurious days in bed to recover. Oh no. Life went on – kids still needed to be entertained, the washing had to be done, everyone needed to be fed and I had to keep meeting my work deadlines.
Sure, I could’ve put the theatrics on; kicked and screamed for some semblance of compassion. But the fact was, I just didn’t have the energy. You see, every time I coughed, the husband would cough louder and more devastatingly. He was obviously still recovering from his own bout of flu – how could be possible care for me, too?
Mums just don’t get sick days, eh.
Does Man Flu really exist?
Man Flu doesn’t necessarily mean influenza. It can be a common cold or even a slight virus. You see, ‘getting the flu’ isn’t as common as many of us think. It’s easy to confuse flu with a bad cold because flus and colds can share some of the same symptoms.
Influenza symptoms may linger for about a week but the feeling of tiredness and gloom can continue for several weeks. Or, in the case of Man Flu, can go on indefinitely.
Wouldn’t you know it, there have been some serious studies into whether this debilitating condition is more than just a theatrical attempt to garner sympathy by our menfolk. The clever people at Cambridge University in England did extensive research in 2010 and determined it all comes down to our biology.
Their findings, published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, suggests that Man Flu really is a thing. Across a range of animal species, they found that males tend to be the ‘weaker sex’ when it comes to immune defences, usually because of hormonal differences.
The weaker sex. (Excuse me while I stifle a giggle.)
The researchers determined that the reason men get ‘sicker than women’ is because men invest more energy into maintaining ‘the ability to reproduce while ill’ and also take the view they will be reinfected quickly – thus, they don’t need to have a strong immune system like us womenfolk.
Dr Olivier Restif, of the University of Cambridge, said: “In many cases, males tend to be more prone to get infected or less able to clear infection. Proposed mechanisms include interference between male hormones and immunity, as well as risk-taking behaviour.”
It’s all about sex, apparently
Dr Restif goes onto say that for men, maintaining the ability to mate was more important than getting better. For women it was the other way around. But men, they decrease their immune defences to remain sexually active during infection if their exposure to infection is high.
Say what? I wouldn’t expect anyone to feel too much like reproducing when they’re so awfully sick …
In addition, a 2011 study conducted at the University of Queensland suggests that female hormones help pre-menopausal women in fighting infections, to maintain their health during those vital child-rearing years. This protection, however, is lost after menopause because its purpose is no longer justified.
How to avoid Man Flu
The only way to avoid the more serious strains of influenza floating around this year – and Man Flu – is to move to the tropics, where influenza doesn’t thrive.
Or you could just get a flu shot.
The flu shot plays a vital role in alleviating – and avoiding – this year’s influenza strains. On an individual level, there’s absolutely nothing pleasant about having the flu. It’s disruptive to your life – and I’m sure you have better ways to spend your days than being stuck in bed feeling like crap, am I right?
From a community perspective, if you are immunised against this year’s influenza strains, you are safeguarding the rest of the population from them as well. The last thing we need is another ‘Swine Flu’ pandemic on our hands!
The Australian Government offers the flu shot for free to the more vulnerable members in our community, which includes:
- anyone aged 65 years and older
- pregnant women (at any stage of pregnancy)
- Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people aged six months to under five years and 15 years and over
- people aged six months or older with heart disease, chronic lung disease, chronic neurological conditions, Down syndrome, impaired immunity or haemoglobinopathies (blood disorders caused by genetic changes)
- people with other chronic conditions such as obesity, alcoholism, diabetes and kidney disease
- residents in nursing homes or other long-term care facilities
- people who are homeless
- people with severe asthma who require frequent hospital visits
- children on long-term aspirin therapy
- people with other chronic illnesses requiring regular medical follow-up or hospitalisation.
For the rest of us, we’re lucky in Australia to have access to an inexpensive, safe and up-to-date flu vaccination, which you can get from your family GP and some pharmacies. Some employers provide the flu shot to employees for free – especially in workplaces where their employees work with vulnerable people. So be sure to check with your employer whether they’re providing a free flu shot this year.
