Some kids run away. Including mine. Bolting like a cat through an unlocked baby gate left open by a tradesperson or visitor, my son can get from the lounge to the downstairs garage in under a minute if he senses his caregiver’s guard is down.
There are many causes- in my son’s case, sensory issues linked with his chromosomal disability. Other children have ADHD, like Jocelyn Lewis from the Gold Coast- who was found this week after running away from her family and hiding from hundreds of searchers for nearly 24 hours.
Joceyn’s mum Kelly told Kidspot: “When you have a child who does this, you have to mentally prepare yourself that they run away. You can’t go into stress mode – you have to keep a cool head as much as you can.”
And Jocelyn’s dad Steve told the Gold Coast Bulletin, “For me, it was the worst feeling I’ve ever felt in my life followed by the best feeling I’ve ever felt in my whole life.”
“It has been a problem for some time and I’ve tried to explain to her she can’t run off like that but it’s not sinking in — not even after being gone for such a long time.”
As reported in The Bulletin, Jocelyn had tried running away three times in the previous two months, which led Steve to purchase a GPS watch the week before Jocelyn’s latest terrifying adventure. Unfortunately it didn’t arrive soon enough.
Jocelyn Lewis was found safe this week after she ran away from her family home
Not all children are as lucky as Jocelyn
Even if your child isn’t one who makes a regular habit of running off, young children can and do wander away from their parents. Unfortunately statistics dictate not all of those kids end up returning home safely. Whether it’s the first time or the 4th, every incident is just as terrifying for their families.
In fact, parents of ‘runners’, as kids who perform this act are commonly referred to in parenting circles, can end up living in a state of anxiety or even ‘hyper-vigilance.’ It’s an exhausting place to be. They’ve watched for potential threats and escape routes for so long, they are on high alert and find it nearly impossible to unwind or relax.
Parents often have many creative workarounds to keep their kids safe. A recent discussion revealed quite a few.
Nikki Schwagermann says, “Seven-year-old Wil has walked away from our house three times. We had to go and get new security doors that had 1500mm high handles and locks with a key that we can keep on us.”
Nerys Lewis says, ‘Seven-year-old Riley is a runner and an escape artist. Guaranteed he will take off like lighting at least once during our outings. A tag on clothing or a number written in marker on their arm is great for a crowded place, as someone will see them straight away. However, like in this instance with Jocelyn, they wouldn’t have helped. A tracker is needed- something with range. There a few out there that will alert you as soon as they are out of reach, but they only have a short distance radar. If you have a runner, ANYTHING is worth it if it can be kept on.”
Rebekah Fowler added, “So many people assume that if kids disappear the parents must not have been vigilant, but that often isn’t the case. If you try hanging on to a child who wants to escape and who has strategies worked out to help them escape… even if you are being a helicopter parent it’s very possible for them to escape and disappear. We have temporary tattoos with our phone number that I put on Charlotte when we are going out to a busy place. When she was younger I had a leashed backpack for when we were in public. I received so many negative comments from people, but her safety always came first.”
Mandi, who has a son with special needs who escaped from their home via a gate, explained what didn’t help the situation. “Being informed by the police they will be contacting Families South Australia ‘because of your lack of parenting ability.’ I was terrified my son ran off, and I had my heart in my throat choking back tears not knowing if he was ok. I was scared enough for my child. I didn’t need a threat- losing my child is my worst nightmare.”
She now has a thick chain and padlock securing the gate.
Ways to keep a ‘runner’ safe
Happily, there are many tools on the market to help with fast identification and reporting of a lost child- even free ones. The Australian Police Child ID App is a great way all parents can proactively have stats on their child ready to go in an emergency.
The website explains: “The app allows families to store photographs and vital information about their children on their mobile phone. Information can be password protected so that only authorised users will have access. In the devastating event that a child goes missing, this information can be immediately forwarded to authorities via email, assisting them to expedite their search.
The application also includes safety advice and checklists for parents on keeping children safe, information about what to do in the hours immediately after a child goes missing and provides quick and efficient access to emergency contact phone numbers.”
This previous Kidspot article discusses the pros and cons of digital surveillance tools for kids. More and more parents are turning to GPS trackers and digital devices as a last resort to help keep their children safe and secure, although many digital devices only track to a certain radius.
Do you have a child who is a ‘runner’? What methods do you use to help keep your child safe?
