This article originally appeared on The Mum on the Run (pictured above) and has been republished here with permission.
Dear formula feeding mothers,
Can I just rename you ‘mothers’ right here? Because that’s what you are. You are a mother.
Mothers are beautiful
They give themselves selflessly every day. Just like any other mother, you do the same. I’m sorry you are so often pegged into one of two categories of someone who doesn’t breastfeed. You are either; someone who doesn’t want to or someone who doesn’t have enough information.
You are not ignorant, and you are definitely not a failure. Guilt is something in our vocabulary as mothers, but not breastfeeding is something that should never make you feel guilty. Ever.
You are not selfish
Choosing not to feed or having formula thrust upon you isn’t about putting your needs before the baby’s and being selfish. It’s doing what is right and what’s best for both of you. Unhappy mothers lead to depression, and that’s unwanted for anyone. Do what makes you happy so you can be happy with motherhood and therefore happy with your baby. No one should question that.
You want to try it to help your baby sleep more? You do it.
You need to switch to formula to go to work to provide for your family, or because you simply don’t want to be at home? You do it.
You need to switch to formula to go to work to provide for your family, or because you simply don’t want to be at home? You do it.
Need to travel, need a night out, had enough? Then there’s nothing wrong with it.
If you only want your body for your partner, including your breasts. If breastfeeding doesn’t fit your life choices. If you knew right away that it wasn’t for you before you even gave birth, then kudos. You stood up for yourself by standing by your choices. What an amazing role model you are for your children.
If topping up makes your life easier, then f**k what anyone thinks and do it.
You are heroes
For the mothers who stopped for medical reasons, for breast cancer, for reductions, for poor health, for low supply, for mental health; you are heroes.
If you felt robbed from your experience, I am truly sorry for that, but know that you can bond with your baby and give them the best with your love and your loving stares from your soul. No one can have that, just you and your baby. It doesn’t matter how you feed them.
For the mothers who have tried but couldn’t. You have not failed. The world might want to paint you as black or white, but they don’t know you, they don’t know where you’ve walked, what you have experienced. They don’t know you cried at 3am because the pain was so much. They don’t know you tried so hard to pump and squeeze just an ounce to feed your baby. They don’t know the amount of cookies you ingested in desperate attempts to get more milk.
They don’t know the money you spent on tongue ties, trips to the doctor’s office because of thrush or mastitis. Sexual abuse you might have endured. No you have not failed. You gave your last ounce, whether it’s been for 2 hours, 2 days or 2 weeks. You tried. You succeeded in being awesome, and you certainly didn’t fail.
So next time you’re out, pour that powder in that water, and shake with pride!
For you, my friend … are a star!! And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Laura is an exhausted mother with two hyperactive but beautiful children. Her hobbies include being a hot mess and writing blogs to make other hot mess mamas feel good! You can find her on Instagram, on Facebook or on her blog at themumontherun.com
