Hey cool freaksters,

This week our groovy alt-hippy chick Julie "Pearly Queen" Bishop releases her fab new version of that classic hit Marrakesh Express by fave Hippy Dippy supergroup Crosby, Textor, Ernst & Young. Julie found her mojo on some crazy freak-out trip to Morocco where she and her soulmate "Joshin" Josh Frackenberg got to hang out with all the cool climate change kids and where there's no artificial limits imposed by The Man coz Julie and Josh and Malcolm got together in the spirit of love and harmony and Signed The Paper on the very same day that The Man got elected, man, how crazy is that? So Julie's free to be as loose with our tax dollars as she wants in those kooky carbon markets in Morocco coz it's just money man it's not like it's real coz nothing is real except that The Planet needs your money man to give to those sinking atolls, sinking right in front of our eyes, so let's get billions of dollar notes and stuff them under the islands so they don't sink no more, anyway chill out and have a listen to Julie's pearly new lyrics coz this chick rocks man.

Marrakesh Express (written especially for acoustic guitars because it's a pretty safe bet you won't have any electricity)

Julie: Looking at the world through my progressive eyes

Travelling on the climate train to clear Moroccan skies

Coal and gas and CO2

What on earth's the world to do?

Isn't it true that we're all doooo-ooomed?

Julie, Josh, Malcolm (harmonise):

Don't you know we're riding on the Marrakesh Express?

We've signed us up on to the Marrakesh Express

We're being taken for a ride in Marrakesh

All aboard the gravy train, all aboard the gravy train

Julie: Sweep The Donald from the edges of my mind

Had to get away to see what I could find

I miss Hillary and Kerry too

What on earth's a girl to do?

I guess my UN plans they're all doooo-ooomed

All: Don't you know we're riding on the Marrakesh Express?

We've splurged squillions on the Marrakesh Express

We're being taken for a ride in Marrakesh

All aboard the gravy train, all aboard the gravy train

Julie: I've been spending all your money just to get me there

I rinse the carbon from my hai-ai-ai-air

Jay Weathervane (guest vocalist): Take the train from Coober Pedy going south

Slashing our emissions with each commitment from my mouth

Windmills barely moving in the air

Blackouts, power cuts everywhere

Not a single job coz manufacturing's rooo-oooned

Well, let me hear you now!

All: Don't you know we're riding on the Marrakesh Express?

Sacrificed our future to the Marrakesh Express

We're being taken for a ride in Marrakesh

All aboard the gravy train, all aboard the gravy train

In other news, Wikileaks released the transcript of a phone call made from Greg Norman's mobile phone late last week:

"Donald!!! Hello!!!"

"Hey, Greggy, good to hear from you man, how're yer balls swinging hah ha!"

"Oh, um, sorry Mr, er, Mr President, sir, it's um, it's not actually Greg here, Greg just lent me his phone so I could congrat …"

"You trying to be funny? Who the hell are you? You stole Greg's phone? You some goddam Mexican kidnapping drug baron rapist? Goddamit I swear I'll kick your …"

"No, no, Mr Trump, ah, it's Malcolm here. Malcolm Turnbull, sir."

"Turnbull? I'll turn you into something worse than bull if you don't put Greg on the phone this second. You lay a finger on …"

"No, no, Greg is fine, I assure you, Mr President. He dialled your number so I could be one of the world's first leaders to congratulate you, sir. It's what I like to refer to as networking. Obviously, I immediately asked my highly agile and innovative Department of Foreign Affairs for your direct phone number but all the staff there were too busy taking down the Clinton balloons and Hillary bunting and ribbons and stuff and putting the bubbly back in the fridge and Julie was uncontactable in Morocco signing the ... er ... anyway, I thought to myself, in the sort of agile and innovative fashion that you and I have in common as successful businessmen, I thought, well, let me see, who else might have your private number, in order than I may telephone you and congratulate you on your outstanding victory and assure you that as Prime Minister of Australia we stand firmly foot by foot, toe by toe, ankle by ankle, cheek by jowl, utterly and irrevocably in lockstep with you, Mr Donald, our most valuable ally and most trusted … hello? ... hello?"

Twitter @rowandean