Paris: Deep down, Liam Gill occasionally thinks about what could have been.
He wonders, just months into a new life that is playing rugby on the other side of the world in France for Toulon, how he would have gone if given the chance to really sink his teeth into Test footy.
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Wallabies' thrilling one-point win over Scotland
Australia and Scotland locked horns in Edinburgh with the visitors snatching a 23-22 win in the dying minutes of the game.
"It would have been nice to have an opportunity to see how I would go properly at Test level," Gill tells Fairfax Media from Toulon.
"You don't really think about different generations or [if you were] lucky versus unlucky. I've got a great respect for the guys that are in front of me and I've played with."
After racking up 15 Tests throughout 2012 and 2013, Gill has not turned out for Australia since.
Many say he is one of the unluckiest players of his generation; a fierce back-rower with an impressive skill set who is the victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the likes of Michael Hooper and David Pocock ahead of him.
Don't be under the impression Gill is bitter though, for he is enjoying his time in the south of France, near the Mediterranean coast, doing what he loves for a living.
"This is something I've always really wanted to do in my footy," Gill says. "The timing in Australian rugby for me at both a Super [Rugby] level and an Australian level just works perfectly for coming over now. It's a bit of a freshen up.
"I'll be trying to keep improving my footy … then hopefully if I do get the chance [to play for the Wallabies again] I'd love to see how that pans out."
Gill, 24, touched down in Europe in mid-August after six seasons with the Queensland Reds. After living out of hotels for a number of weeks, he has just recently found a place "out the back of Toulon" with his girlfriend Courtney.
"We're trying to learn French ... that's our first little goal so we're doing lessons," Gill says. "You think you're going well until you find yourself in a conversation and you've absolutely no idea. Our understanding is getting a lot better.
"It's no Queensland. The French way of life is a lot different to what I'm used to. It's been a nice change up. It's been a nice change of style of rugby as well and it took me a bit of time to find my feet as well on all fronts. But now I think I've finally found my feet a bit and I'm really enjoying it."
A change of scenery has also provided Gill with a new mindset in terms of the way he approaches his football.
Without the carrot that is Wallabies selection dangling just above his reach, Gill can go about his business as an audacious No.7 for Toulon with far less pressure heaped on him.
"It's a lot more of a relaxed mindset now," Gill says. "It's always tough when you're so caught up in that and really wanting to get back in the team and just falling short for a couple of years. It's nice to just let it sit back and let it unfold the way it unfolds and watch the footy for what it is now.
"It's a very physical game [over here] and it's a very kick-orientated game. It's not so much learning new aspects; it's just getting a feel for the way that they play over here."
Gill still keeps a tab on how the Wallabies are doing and hopes to watch them this weekend on television after Toulon's match against Castres Olympique.
From within Wallabies camp, the term "grand slam" is almost becoming a taboo subject, for players and coaches are reluctant to look too far ahead.
Asked whether Michael Cheika's men can achieve what no Australia team has done since 1984, Gill is optimistic because he thinks the scars of a tough June series against England have not fully healed.
"The game on the weekend [against Scotland], they find a way to win and they've done it well and there will be a lot of vengeance in the boys from the England series," Gill says.
"That's the big game for them and I know they have got it in them. But I think there will be a fair bit of fire in the belly not just from Cheik, but from everyone about the June series. They're going really well and I think they'll give it [the grand slam] a good shake."
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