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@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008
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Tweets

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  1. 2 minutes ago

    Oh Great, Another Woman Who Only Loves Me For My Complete Collection Of ‘Rurouni Kenshin’ Manga

    60 retweets 94 likes
  2. 2 hours ago

    How Movies Receive Their Ratings

    18 retweets 49 likes
  3. 3 hours ago

    Area Woman Thinking About Doing That Thing Where She’s Mean To Other Women She Meets For No Reason

    173 retweets 631 likes
  4. 4 hours ago

    DNC Aiming To Reconnect With Working-Class Americans With New ‘Hamilton’-Inspired Lena Dunham Web Series

    362 retweets 708 likes
  5. 5 hours ago

    Accidentally Closing Browser Window With 23 Tabs Open Presents Rare Chance At New Life

    602 retweets 1,152 likes
  6. 6 hours ago

    Gaunt, Weathered John Kerry Leads Prisoner Uprising In Siberian Labor Camp

    122 retweets 359 likes
  7. 7 hours ago

    Man At Point Where Thought Of Reince Priebus Controlling White House Pretty Comforting

    139 retweets 394 likes
  8. 8 hours ago

    Let’s cut the shit. You know why you’re here.

    219 retweets 359 likes
  9. 8 hours ago

    Marriage Going To Be Hard To Go Back To On Monday - The Onion - America's Finest News Source

    21 retweets 105 likes
  10. 9 hours ago

    Matt Damon Appears Fully Nude For First Time In Local Man’s Imagination

    220 retweets 755 likes
  11. 10 hours ago

    Area Man Considers Self Ally To Women Unless They Threaten His Status In Literally Any Way

    519 retweets 1,025 likes
  12. 21 hours ago

    Man Uses Weekend To Make Totally Different Mistakes Than He Did During Workweek

    280 retweets 749 likes
  13. Nov 18

    What Your Teen Is Really Doing When She Says She’s Going To A Warehouse To Get All Holes Stuffed

    296 retweets 819 likes
  14. 24 hours ago

    Gay Alabama Couple Always Dreamed Of Getting Married Surrounded By Hostility

    408 retweets 1,357 likes
  15. Nov 18

    In today's news: Joe Biden, a recommendation from the Surgeon General, and reduced Breitbart traffic

    Everything you need to know about today's news
    20 retweets 87 likes
  16. Nov 18

    Lettuce Sentenced To Slow, Painful Death In Vegetable Crisper Drawer

    477 retweets 1,244 likes
  17. Nov 15

    Recreate the Mojito Caballito from Havana’s legendary Sloppy Joe’s bar

    5 retweets 18 likes
  18. Nov 18

    Stephen Hawking: Earth Doomed Within 1,000 Years ?

    266 retweets 599 likes
  19. Nov 18

    For more exemplary journalism, visit .

    45 retweets 110 likes
  20. Nov 18

    5 Things To Know About Jeff Sessions

    5 Things To Know About Jeff Sessions
    182 retweets 242 likes

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