Publishers don’t call the literary genre of science fiction “science fiction” anymore. It’s now called “speculative fiction.” And if you go into a bookshop, instead of a science fiction section there’s a “Science Fiction and Fantasy” section. That means that instead of books about mind-eating aliens, there are books about elves, wizards and facking unicorns. You have to look really, really hard to find anything that doesn’t involve a dark, storm-lashed castle. Read the rest of this entry »
I luv ya Jimmee!
November 15, 2008When does fanboy signage cross the line into something unwholesome? Is it when it’s a male fan professing his undying commitment to a male entertainer (astute readers will notice that I didn’t use the word “singer”)? Why does this display on the rear window of a CUB’s ute make me uncomfortable? Read the rest of this entry »
Strictly Blowfly
November 11, 2008“Baz’s Epic Gamble!” screamed The Weekend Australian, in a desperate bid to ignite public interest in the imminent release of its sister company’s $100M-plus movie Australia. On a daily basis Rupert Murdoch’s papers have been remorselessly exploiting the tried-and-true synergistic cross-media promotional aspects so beloved by News Corp’s fearless leader in a daily doling out of inane crap to keep the masses chattering over the water cooler. And with the movie about to premiere we would imagine that the News Corp film critic drones are busy submitting their reviews to Rupert and 20th Century Fox for approval. Meanwhile, the rest of the media, particularly Fairfax, appear to be preparing huge vats of cranberry sauce for what they believe will be the biggest turkey of the year. So, which will it be? Read the rest of this entry »
Delta Goes For Gold In Autograph Stakes
August 22, 2008According to The Daily Telegraph, Delta Goodrem, our fave sort-of-singer, sort-of-actor and sort-of-babe, has just completed a NINE HOUR stint signing autographs at a Westfield shopping center. Fack, that’s gotta be some kind of record, doesn’t it? Did she have to wear an astronaut nappy? Read the rest of this entry »
RIP Isaac Hayes
August 12, 2008Show some respect for Mr Hayes by switching off the telly and getting reacquainted with Isaac Hayes’ extraordinary 19 minute rendition of “By The Time I Get To Phoenix” from his Hot Buttered Soul album. Read the rest of this entry »
Ambiguous Chiropractor Signage Sparks Grocery Shopping Brouhaha
August 2, 2008
(spotted near Herdie Growers Market)
“Why would anyone want a young chiropractor? It’s the old guys with the gnarly hands that can really crack your back.”
“Yeah, it’s kinda creepy. It almost sounds like a Personals ad.”
“Maybe it just means he treats kids.”
“That sounds even creepier.”
“Why do you always have to make things salacious?”
“Hey, it’s HIS sign, not mine.”
[silence]
“Maybe his name’s ‘Young’.”
“Wouldn’t it’d say ‘Doctor Young’ or ‘Dr Young’?”
“Maybe it wouldn’t fit.”
“You’re an idiot.”
Delta’s No Fag Hag, Mrs Goodrem Assures Us
July 29, 2008![](http://web.archive.org./web/20240905141626im_/https://perthetic.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/delta.jpg?w=450)
Memo to Perez: Don't Get These Two Muddled Up
Smoking and Delta Goodrem – big news, it would seem. But the story now appears to have been deep-sixed on News Corp websites (ie. the Heath Ledger Memorial Website, sorry, I meant Perthnow.com.au), which probably means Mrs Goodrem (Delta’s mum and erstwhile manager) has been working the phones. Read the rest of this entry »
Lure Of Squaddies Too Strong For Condi
July 25, 2008What exactly is a “private” visit, hmm? But lets not get all wowseristic about this, Condoleezza’s a red-blooded neocon babe with needs and desires just like any other woman. And what the hell, if you were the most powerful woman on the planet, wouldn’t you use your jet to chase up some fun and frolics in far flung locales? And really, it’s hardly surprising that she desires the company of some real men, particularly after having to endure the sycophantic panderings of our emasculated and spineless pollies. More power to ya, sister.
(As reported by PerthNow).
Two Manky Whores And A Racist Dwarf
July 23, 2008Movie Review: In Bruges
Another head-cold, another whiskey-fueled couch-potato video marathon. But unlike my last bout of illness, I actually managed to watch something worthwhile this time. Directed and written by Martin McDonagh, In Bruges is an English black comedy in the style of Shallow Grave. It’s a tasty mix of violence, laughs and Colin Farrell’s eyebrows, which seem to be constantly trying to escape from his face. Read the rest of this entry »
Tracy Redhead @ The Indi Bar
July 17, 2008Tracy Redhead, supported by Ken Watt, July 16th, Indian Ocean Hotel, Scarborough
Entertainment at The Indi Bar is a bit like Mark Harvey’s top lip; you’re never really quite sure what’s going on there. Seemingly endless residencies by stoner bands are erratically punctuated with one-off appearances by bands THAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE (and the occasional fire) with little or no advance warning. Read the rest of this entry »
Bunbury Social Diary: Hugo Chávez Testimonial Dinner
July 13, 2008![Who said state and federal don\'t mix...](http://web.archive.org./web/20240905141626im_/https://perthetic.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/chavez1.jpg?w=450)
Who said state and federal don't mix...
The Bunbury Italian Club played host last Saturday to the Hugo Chávez Testimonial Dinner, an annual open-bar knees-up attended by a who’s who of South-West identities. Spotted cheerfully discussing the finer points of state and federal legislative interaction were Opposition Whip and parliamentary hottie Nola Marino (Member for Forrest) and the ever debonair Giovanni (John) Castrilli (Member for Bunbury). Read the rest of this entry »
Dish of the Week: Teriyaki Corpse Prawns
July 13, 2008Contemporary Comportment And The .50-Caliber Machine Gun
July 8, 2008Review: Rambo IV (2007)
Sylvester Stallone (Sly) looks like he hasn’t aged a day since his last slew of Rambo movies twenty-odd years ago. Fack me, I want whatever monkey-gland anti-aging shit he’s juicing himself on.
The past two decades haven’t changed his acting style either, but time has given him some extra chops when it comes to the credits. Sly is listed as co-writer, director, and I think also co-producer (although I kind of missed this bit as I was getting a drink).
The credits (which are amazingly long) are also instructive in other areas. No fewer than 20 “carpenters” are listed. Twenty carpenters? Given that the movie was shot in the jungle, what the hell did these carpenters carpent (no jokes about wooden acting, please)? Read the rest of this entry »
Mallee Root Redux
July 1, 2008Astute Perthetic readers will already know that we have a special fondness for mallee root artifacts produced by Western Australia’s gifted artisans; particularly mallee root clocks. We can’t get enough of them – especially the ones with clocks AND barometers – and always stock up when we’re out (of the metropolitan area) and about (searching in vain for a decent cup of coffee) in the State of Excitement’s rural provinces.
Well, fellow devotees, we’ve just discovered there’s a MALLEE ROOT FESTIVAL! Read the rest of this entry »
Review: Doctor Who (Series 4)
June 27, 2008British newspaper columnist AA Gill famously described the Welsh people as “stunted, small-minded, ugly pugnacious trolls,” following up with the assessment that nothing of any merit ever emerged from Wales. But Gill appears to have completely missed the singularly best thing to come out of that vowel-challenged land – Doctor Who. That such great TV can be produced by the BBC in what one would assume to be a production backwater obsessed with male choirs and coal is nothing short of a triumph. Read the rest of this entry »
The Argument For Boudoir Photography
June 24, 2008Au contraire, this isn’t some diatribe concerning appalling media pics of female politicians. It’s about Kevin Rudds.
Docker Pav Moonlighting?
June 24, 2008Thanks to docker_tragic for this intriguing porno boxcover which appears to show ever-reliable-goal-kicker Matthew Pavlich reverse skull-fucking the Dalai Lama while flipping a victory sign with his right hand. It might be interesting to contemplate which one of those events is more unlikely. No word on where this curio came from (thank god). Read the rest of this entry »
Inside Man: Who Said Blaxploitation Was Dead?
June 14, 2008Movie Review: Inside Man
Remember Superfly, that blaxploitation pic from the early 70s? It was notable in that the soundtrack out-grossed the movie itself, a feat I’m not sure has been repeated since. As well as some seminal music from Curtis Mayfield, the movie also had some killer dialogue. Youngblood Priest, the coke-dealing hero(?) is planning one last drug deal to set himself up so he can quit the mean streets of the ghetto. His buddy doesn’t want him to quit, imploring him; “Why you wanna quit Priest? You got an 8-track stereo and a colour TV in every room. You’re living the American dream!” Read the rest of this entry »
Joondalup Community Art Exhibition
June 7, 2008“What I have in mind is that art may be bad, good or indifferent, but, whatever adjective is used, we must call it art, and bad art is still art in the same way that a bad emotion is still an emotion.”
Marcel Duchamp“Bad art is a great deal worse than no art at all.”
Oscar Wilde
City of Joondalup Community Art Exhibition
(until the 21st June at Lakeside Shopping City)
This exhibition of mostly paintings (all for sale) by Joondalup residents raises some intriguing questions. Firstly, how is it possible that in Joondalup, a city of 100,000 people, there are no artists? Statistically, that would seem quite unlikely to me, but it appears irrefutable once you have a gander at this little lot. Read the rest of this entry »
Trust Your Gomi Senses, Glasshopper…
June 4, 2008Curbside Scavenging Report: Subiaco
Six weeks I’ve been gomi hunting
And every night, I dream of Subi
They say junk is what you’ll find there
But shit, it worked for meFor I’ve come South gomi hunting
I always scab, off the verge
Now I’m fossicking here in Subi
And my brain, it’s taken leave(with apologies to The Warumpi Band and Neil Murray.)
A total gomi mind-set and presence. If you have it then you will be inexplicably drawn to a particular pile of trash, and, usually, extract some morsel of interesting tat. Thus, for me, a casual scavenging jaunt to Subi during their rubbish throw-out yielded up a car-full of unpricelessly fabulous trash in less than an hour. Read the rest of this entry »