MAL

Vanguard (2012)

Actors: Jesse Soff (editor), Malachy Cleary (actor), Adi Chand (producer), Adi Chand (director), Connor MacDonald (writer), Connor MacDonald (writer), Connor MacDonald (producer), Connor MacDonald (actor), Sami Deller (producer),

Genres: Adventure, Drama, Short,

Leatha Acidents (2011)

Actors: Thomas Daniel (actor), Robert Fleet (writer), Nicholas Kinsey (producer), Nicholas Kinsey (writer), Nicholas Kinsey (director), Nicholas Kinsey (editor), Doug Sutherland (producer), Kristin Wallace (actress), Ralf Cassidy Bindels (composer), Virginia Leigh (actress), Brad Carmichael (actor), Alexandra Valassis (actress), Wendy Virtanen (actor), Rene DeFazio (actor), John Cicione (actor),

Plot: Two suburban best friends decide to kill their husbands to keep from having to move apart - a plan that works perfectly, until one decides that she likes the her friend's husband.

Genres: Comedy, Comedy,
Taglines: Two wacky housewives with murder on their minds.

44 Inch Chest (2009)

Actors: Diana Dill (miscellaneous crew), Charles Heaphy (miscellaneous crew), Ian McShane (producer), John Hurt (actor), Ian McShane (actor), Wayne Docksey (miscellaneous crew), Ray Winstone (producer), Melvil Poupaud (actor), Tom Wilkinson (actor), Ray Winstone (actor), Steve Golin (producer), Steven Berkoff (actor), Stephen Dillane (actor), Angelo Badalamenti (composer), Hakan Kousetta (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: Colin is in agony, shattered by his wife's infidelity. However, he has friends who do more than stand by -- they kidnap the wife's French lover and hold him prisoner so that Colin can restore his manhood with revenge. A kangaroo court takes place and as the situation escalates Loverboy's life hangs in the balance as Colin wrestles with revenge, remorse, grief and self pity, all the while egged on by his motley crew of friends who just want him to get on with it so they can get down the pub.

Keywords: abandoned-building, abusive-husband, adultery, anxiety-attack, bag-over-head, chauffeur, cigarette-smoking, cockney-accent, coin-toss, crime-caper
Genres: Crime, Drama,
Taglines: The Measure of Revenge

Quotes:

Archie: Are you hearing this? What you've done? What you're responsible for? Are you proud of yourself? Was it worth it? All this pain.::Mal: Fucked his wife. Fucked his fucking wife. You fucking wife-fucker, you. You fucked his fucking wife, you wife-fucking cunt. Another man's wife. Are you stupid, are you fucking thick, you cunt? Fuck another man's wife? You don't do that. It ends in this. This. This is where it ends. You listening, you hearing me? Shitter? Little shitter?::Archie: You should have got your own fucking wife to fuck!::Mal: You're in deep shit mate. You're in the worst possible place a man could find himself.

Colin Diamond: I want you dead. I think you owe me that. I do. Because that's what you've done to me. You've fucking killed me.

Liz: It's not like that Colin. I don't feel the same as you, I just want to get out.::Colin Diamond: Well fuck off then. Go on, get. Fuck off. I'll be alright. Selfish bastard. I ain't gonna stop you. I'll tell you. You fuck off, you horrible cunt. You traitor. I hate you.::Liz: Not if you're going to start calling me names.::Colin Diamond: Don't you... a nasty, unfaithful cow who sucked another man's bellend, tell me, fucking tell me, that I'm calling you names. Who is he?::Liz: Does it matter?::Colin Diamond: Who is he? Tell me the cunt's name, I want to know.::Liz: He's just a guy.::Colin Diamond: Oh just a guy. Not a bloke, not just a bloke. He's a guy. He's a cunt. I'll cut his cock off when I find him.::Liz: Stop it, Colin!::Colin Diamond: No that's right, stick up for the cunt. 'Cos you're on his side. Side of the guy. Well let me tell you something Liz, and mark my fucking words, I will tear the flesh off his face with my teeth and stick it in your fucking handbag.::Liz: Right that's it, I'm going. We'll talk later.

Old Man Peanut: Poof?::Mal: He's thinking of Farrady. He's been dead for years.::Meredith: Farraday. He was alright. He was a gentle giant.::Mal: He was only 5'4''::Meredith: I fucked him back in the 80's. I'm telling you, he was a gentle giant.::Mal: Did you? I didn't know that.::Old Man Peanut: We do now.::Meredith: He was a very shy man. I liked him.::Old Man Peanut: No, it's not that cunt I'm thinking of. It was that other cunt. Cunt with the ears. Pen and inked something terrible.::Mal: That's Dougie Clark. The Human Stinkbomb.::Old Man Peanut: I've got a bone to pick with that cunt.::Mal: You can't get close enough though, can you?

Old Man Peanut: I wouldn't give her the pickings out of my handkerchief.

Tippi: [cutting huge lines of cocaine] I like a line the size of a Tobleroné.

Meredith: With me it's the five Fs. Find 'em, follow 'em, finger 'em, fuck 'em, and forget 'em.

Colin Diamond: I bet she's never farted in front of you, has she? Has she? No- I thought not. I mean, that's not romantic, is it? You just want the perfume clouds, the romance, the magicalness of it all- the false crap. Well, I've got news for you, Sonny Jim- that's not love. Love's hard work, hard graft. Love can be murder. Love is watching what she wants to watch on the tely, taking her the papers and a cup of tea on a Sunday morning in bed and inquiring to how she might be feeling, "You all right, Liz?" whilst plumping up her pillows. And she might get irritated by that, but you gotta take it on the chin and broad shoulders, because she's the queen, and you're the bee- the Dad. And so what if you cook the dinner and you get no thanks for it? Don't do it if you expect thanks. That's not why you do it. And yes, you forgot the dripping tap for ten years, and then one day- for whatever reason, fuck knows why- you get off your fat ass and you find yourself under the sink with a spanner in your hand and you're smiling like fuck- because you know it's gonna please her. And if she don't notice it, she don't notice it- it don't matter. It's fixed. It's plumbed. It's the maintenance of a marriage, the nuts and bolts, the nitty gritty, the reality- that's life, that's love, it ain't easy- nobody ever said it was gonna be easy. It's fucking hard work. But, you know, love can be... lovely. One day, you'll be in the bathroom, having a shave in front of the mirror, all soap on your face, and you feel her approaching you. She's hung a pair of tights, hanging on the radiator. And as she leaves, she pats you on the bum and gives you a tiny smile- almost not a smile- but a smile nevertheless. And it will mean the world to you- the whole. incredible world- the fucking universe.

Meredith: What I choose to do with my nine-and-a-half has fuck all to do with you.

Help! I'm No Bigger Than a Bug (2008)

Actors: Anthony Daniels (actor), Jonathan Rudd (writer), Jonathan Rudd (director), Jonathan Rudd (editor), Nigel Marven (actor), Alexander Gardiner (producer), Sarah Matravers (actress), Will Slater (composer), Selina MacDonald (actress), Andy Netley (editor), Brian Leith (producer), Hannah Hoare (miscellaneous crew), Steve Gooder (producer), Steve Gooder (director), Steve Gooder (writer),

Genres: ,

Trail of Passion (2003)

Actors: Ron Jeremy (actor), Mark Savage (producer), Mark Savage (writer), Mark Savage (director), Colin Savage (actor), Robin Brennan (editor), Robin Brennan (actor), Kevin Hopkins (actor), Susanne Hausschmid (actress), Susanne Hausschmid (producer), Frank Bren (actor), Felicity Andersen (actress), John Arden (writer), Bon Nardella (composer), Justin Foster (actor),

Plot: A womans hopes of reviving a 10 year love affair are shattered a piece at a time. The new Mark Savage film is always a special event at the Melbourne Underground Film Festival. It features a cameo from Ron Jeremy and is an erotic adventure that will pervert and entice.

Genres: Romance,
Taglines: Your journey starts here...

The Alan Brady Show (2003)

Actors: Carl Reiner (writer), Rob Paulsen (actor), Carl Reiner (actor), Dick Van Dyke (actor), Carol Leifer (actress), Rose Marie (actress), Carl Reiner (producer), Barry M. Greenberg (producer), S. Scott Bullock (actor), Paul Buckley (composer), Katy Selverstone (actress), Bennett Lieber (producer),

Genres: Animation,

Rapscallions (1999)

Actors: Jason Rubenstein (producer), Joe Harris (director), Joe Harris (writer), Joe Harris (producer), Michael Moon (actor), Mark Moshe Bellows (actor), Jason O'Connell (actor), Robert DiPietro (composer), James Cox (actor), Juanita DeWitt (editor),

Plot: A group of friends cruise the Park & Rides, out for a night of "fag-bashing" but when one of them reveals that he's got a secret, that friendship, as well as the terrible night of violence, might never be the same.

Keywords: closeted-homosexual, gay-bashing, gay-interest
Genres: Short,

Winter Flight (1984)

Actors: David Puttnam (producer), Sean Bean (actor), Richard Harvey (composer), Tim Bentinck (actor), Lesley Walker (editor), Gary Olsen (actor), Sue Yelland (costume designer), Reece Dinsdale (actor), Michael Percival (actor), Roy Battersby (director), Douglas Sannachan (actor), Shelagh Stephenson (actress), Anthony Trent (actor), Susan Richards (producer), Robin Douet (producer),

Genres: Drama, Romance,

Don's Party (1976)

Actors: John Hargreaves (actor), Bruce Beresford (actor), Bruce Beresford (director), Ray Barrett (actor), Harold Hopkins (actor), Graeme Blundell (actor), David Williamson (writer), David Williamson (writer), William M. Anderson (editor), Fran Burke (miscellaneous crew), Graham Kennedy (actor), Phillip Adams (producer), Jeanie Drynan (actress), Moya Iceton (miscellaneous crew), Moya Iceton (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: The movie Dons Party is about a wild house party in a suburban Australian neighbourhood. Don Henderson convinces his wife to have another party so that their friends can gather to watch the election, drink and carry on. Dons wife, Kath sees the party as just more work, while Don sees it as a chance to break his boring routine. The year is 1969 and some of Dons friends have jumped on the bandwagon of sexual freedom and experimentation. However, others at the party are more conservative about their politics and sex, and naturally, arguments break out over politics and fist fights erupt over the seduction of others wives.

Keywords: 1960s, accountant, adultery, apron, art-studio, artist, australia, australian, australian-government, australian-prime-minister
Genres: Comedy, Drama,
Taglines: What a helluva night! What a night

Quotes:

Cooley: Hello, gorgeous! Care for a screw?::Don Henderson: He used to say "fuck."::Kerry: Any particular reason for the change?::Cooley: Yeah, I get more fucks when I say "screw."

Cooley: [to Mack] Your wife, mate... your wife is one of the great bourgeois monsters of our time!

Kath Henderson: [to Don] You're the one who throws these bloody parties.

Cooley: No, no, actually, actually to be more accurate it was more of a dribble, because I'd been tasting wine and eating cheese for days, the old thing didn't have anything solid to come to grips with.

Jenny: [to Don] Let's face it, if you had to choose between me and that flat stomach million breasted tart out there. Who would it be?

Cooley: I wouldn't like to be in your shoes if you hit me. I'll sue you for assault. I'm a lawyer.::Evan: I'm gonna smash your bloody teeth in.

Don Henderson: He's a dentist.

Don Henderson: Everybody, this is Evan and Kerry, that's Mack, Mal, Jody, Simon and Cooley.

Simon: Why don't you go live in Russia.::Mal: You don't know what you're fucking talking about!

Kath Henderson: What is Cooley like in bed?::Susan: Well he's not all that big, but he's energetic for his age. And inventive.

Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (1936)

Actors: Spencer Charters (actor), James Carlisle (actor), Georgie Billings (actor), Walter Catlett (actor), Hank Bell (actor), Stanley Andrews (actor), Frank Austin (actor), Irving Bacon (actor), George Bancroft (actor), Sammy Blum (actor), Joe Bordeaux (actor), Harry C. Bradley (actor), Charles Brinley (actor), Billy Bevan (actor), Jack Cheatham (actor),

Plot: Longfellow Deeds lives in a small town, leading a small town kind of life - including playing the tuba in the town band. When a relative dies and leaves Deeds a fortune, Longfellow picks up his tuba and moves to the big city where he becomes an instant target for everyone from the greedy opera committee to the sensationist daily newspaper. Deeds outwits them all until Babe Bennett comes along. Babe is a hot-shot reporter who figures the best way to get close to Deeds is to pose as a damsel in distress. When small-town boy meets big-city girl anything can, and does, happen.

Keywords: 1930s, arrest, board-meeting, board-of-directors, bodyguard, butler, car-accident, character-name-in-title, charity, columnist
Genres: Comedy, Drama,
Taglines: Rocking America with laughter!

Quotes:

[Deeds and attorney Cedar shake hands in parting]::Longfellow Deeds: Even his hands are oily.

Longfellow Deeds: He talks about women as if they were cattle.::Walter: Every man to his taste, sir.::Longfellow Deeds: Tell me, Walter, are all these stories I hear about my uncle true?::Walter: Well, sir, he sometimes had as many as twenty in the house at the same time.::Longfellow Deeds: Twenty! What did he do with them?::Walter: That is something I was never able to find out, sir.

Longfellow Deeds: People here are funny. They work so hard at living they forget how to live.

Longfellow Deeds: When the servant comes in, Mr. Hallor, I'm going to ask him to show you to the door. Many people don't know where it is.

[Two shy sisters testify at Deeds's sanity hearing]::John Cedar: Do you know the defendant, Mr. Longfellow Deeds?::[long pause]::Jane Faulkner: Oh yes, yes, of course we know him.::John Cedar: How long have you known him?::[Jane whispers to Amy; Amy whispers back]::Jane Faulkner: Since he was born.::Amy Faulkner: Yes, Elsie Taggart was the midwife.::Jane Faulkner: He was a seven months' baby.::John Cedar: Thank you, that's, that's fine. Do you see him very often?::[Jane whispers to Amy; Amy whispers back]::Jane Faulkner: Most every day.::Amy Faulkner: Sometimes twice.::Judge May: Must we have the echo?::John Cedar: Suppose you just answer, Miss Jane. Now, will you tell the court what everybody at home thinks of Longfellow Deeds?::[pause; then Jane whispers to Amy; Amy whispers back]::Jane Faulkner: They think he's pixilated.::Amy Faulkner: Oh, yes, pixilated.::Judge May: He's what?::John Cedar: What was that you said he was?::Jane Faulkner: Pixilated.::Amy Faulkner: Mm-hmm.::John Cedar: Now that's rather a strange word to us, Miss Jane. Can you tell the court exactly what it means?::Board member: Perhaps I can explain, Your Honor. The word "pixilated" is an early American expression derived from the word "pixies," meaning elves. They would say the pixies had got him. As we nowadays would say, a man is "barmy."::Judge May: Oh. Is that correct?::Jane Faulkner: Mm-hmm.::Amy Faulkner: Mm-hmm.

John Cedar: Your Honor, what she is saying has no bearing on the case. I object!::Judge May: Let her speak!::Babe Bennett: I know why he won't defend himself! That has a bearing on the case, hasn't it? He's been hurt, he's been hurt by everybody he met since he came here, principally by me. He's been the victim of every conniving crook in town. The newspapers pounced on him, made him a target for their feeble humor. I was smarter than the rest of them: I got closer to him, so I could laugh louder. Why shouldn't he keep quiet - every time he said anything it was twisted around to sound imbecilic! He can thank me for it. I handed the gang a grand laugh. It's a fitting climax to my sense of humor.::John Cedar: Why, Your Honor, this is preposterous.::Babe Bennett: Certainly I wrote those articles. I was going to get a raise, a month's vacation. But I stopped writing them when I found out what he was all about, when I realized how real he was. He could never fit in with our distorted viewpoint, because he's honest, and sincere, and good. If that man's crazy, Your Honor, the rest of us belong in straitjackets!::John Cedar: Your Honor, this is absurd. The woman's obviously in love with him.::Babe Bennett: What's that got to do with it?::John Cedar: Well, you are in love with him, aren't you?::Babe Bennett: What's that got to do with it?::John Cedar: You ARE, aren't you?::Babe Bennett: Yes!

Longfellow Deeds: About my playing the tuba. Seems like a lot of fuss has been made about that. If, if a man's crazy just because he plays the tuba, then somebody'd better look into it, because there are a lot of tuba players running around loose. 'Course, I don't see any harm in it. I play mine whenever I want to concentrate. That may sound funny to some people, but everybody does something silly when they're thinking. For instance, the judge here is, is an O-filler.::Judge May: A what?::Longfellow Deeds: An O-filler. You fill in all the spaces in the O's with your pencil. I was watching him. [general laughter] That may make you look a little crazy, Your Honor, just, just sitting around filling in O's, but I don't see anything wrong, 'cause that helps you think. Other people are doodlers.::Judge May: "Doodlers"?::Longfellow Deeds: Uh, that's a word we made up back home for people who make foolish designs on paper when they're thinking: it's called doodling. Almost everybody's a doodler; did you ever see a scratchpad in a telephone booth? People draw the most idiotic pictures when they're thinking. Uh, Dr. von Hallor here could probably think up a long name for it, because he doodles all the time. [general laughter; he takes a sheet off the doctor's notepad] Thank you. This is a piece of paper he was scribbling on. I can't figure it out - one minute it looks like a chimpanzee, and the next minute it looks like a picture of Mr. Cedar. You look at it, Judge. Exhibit A for the defense. Looks kind of stupid, doesn't it, Your Honor? But I guess that's all right; if Dr. von Hallor has to, uh, doodle to help him think, that's his business. Everybody does something different: some people are, are ear-pullers; some are nail-biters; that, uh, Mr. Semple over there is a nose-twitcher. [general laughter] And the lady next to him is a knuckle-cracker. [general laughter] So you see, everybody does silly things to help them think. Well, I play the tuba.

Longfellow Deeds: Cedar, Cedar, Cedar and Budington. Funny, I can't think of a rhyme for "Budington".::Cornelius Cobb: Why should you?::Longfellow Deeds: Well, whenever I run across the funny name, I like to poke around for a rhyme.

Longfellow Deeds: [to the Court] From what I can see, no matter what system of government we have, there will always be leaders and always be followers. It's like the road out in front of my house. It's on a steep hill. Every day I watch the cars climbing up. Some go lickety-split up that hill on high, some have to shift into second, and some sputter and shake and slip back to the bottom again. Same cars, same gasoline, yet some make it and some don't. And I say the fellas who can make the hill on high should stop once in a while and help those who can't. That's all I'm trying to do with this money. Help the fellas who can't make the hill on high.

Longfellow Deeds: [to the Court] It's like I'm out in a big boat, and I see one fellow in a rowboat who's tired of rowing and wants a free ride, and another fellow who's drowning. Who would you expect me to rescue? Mr. Cedar - who's just tired of rowing and wants a free ride? Or those men out there who are drowning? Any ten year old child will give you the answer to that.