One of the chief methods used to silence women who speak out against harassment is to discredit their recollection of events. Instead of being believed when we recount the circumstances of our own lives, we are frequently labelled oversensitive and/or paranoid. Our apparent inability to assess a situation objectively makes us unreliable witnesses.
This has been on full display in the aftermath of revelations that Donald Trump considers the sexual assault of women to be little more than a jolly jape. Caught on tape advocating that men "grab [women] by the pussy", Trump has since dismissed as lies further allegations of sexual assault being levelled against him by suggesting the women making the claims are too unattractive for him to pursue in that manner. This is, of course, yet another tool used to deny the validity of women's testimonies of harassment or assault – by indicating they are simply too ugly for the discerning abuser to bother with.
More News Videos
- Video duration
- 00:56
Another woman accuses Trump of sexual assault
- Video duration
- 06:44
Insider video of the 2013 Nauru riots
- Video duration
- 01:24
Myanmar troops accused of sex attacks
- Video duration
- 01:44
Two American planes catch fire in one day
- Video duration
- 01:09
Clinton urges FBI to release email information
- Video duration
- 02:50
Trump embarrasses, kisses Jennifer Hawkins
- Video duration
- 01:47
Trump welcomes FBI probe on newly found Clinton emails
- Video duration
- 01:04
Philippine President swears by conversation with God
Another woman accuses Trump of sexual assault
New York yoga teacher Karena Virginia claims to be the victim of sexual assault by Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump back in 1998.
Despite all this, Trump asserted during the third and final debate in the Presidential race that "no one respects women more than me". This is a patently false statement, almost laughable in its absurdity. Trump has called women "fat slobs" and "pigs" who act out against him because they're "bleeding out of their wherever". It couldn't be possible to have less respect for women than Trump does. Still, he has made this claim and it will be backed up by millions of other men who want to retain their 'right' to speak about and treat women in the most appalling of manners while pretending they are True Allies of the Real Cause.
Which leads me to this – is it any wonder that more and more women are feeling like the only option left to us is to expose these creeps when we come across them? A man vying to be the most powerful leader in the world literally embodies all that is wrong with male entitlement, but still retains his millions of followers. And this is just the cherry on top of the comprehensively shit sandwich that sees women harassed and abused day in and day out yet always expected to keep quiet and play nice lest we spoil the boys fun. What are women to do except to band together and become each other's last line of defence?
Abuse relies on silence to succeed. It is through silence that abusers retain power. In a world where social media has such high currency (and harassment continues to be executed in such hidden, deliberately covert ways), sometimes the only means available to us is to signal boost actions for other people to see. The purpose of this is twofold. Firstly, it's to warn other women to be wary of particular threats (a kind of feminist round robin, if you will). And the other is to expose the behaviour of individuals who thrive on the power of secrecy to a public scrutiny from which they can no longer hide.
When I've done this before, screenshotting and exposing abusive men's words or actions, I've been surprised at the lengths to which some people have gone to shift the focus of blame onto me. I've been told I'm "just as bad, if not worse" than the men guilty of harassment or abuse – because the disparity in our platforms somehow makes it unfair.
It's led me to believe that some men view this backlash against gross, vile sexism or harassment as their equivalent of "revenge porn". But that thing women do, when we post men's photographs and/or the evidence of their misogyny online? It isn't revenge porn. It isn't designed to humiliate and dehumanise ordinary blokes in order to get back at them for some perceived slight. It doesn't happen in quiet corners of the internet, where men trade women's humiliation as a means of restoring their masculinity via bonding with each other. It's done because women are sick of dealing with this shit and, at every turn, being told we're overreacting or demonising male behaviour. That we're just failing to 'get the joke'. Faced with widespread minimisation of our experiences, the only option left to many of us is to engage in the Hollaback method of warning each other to keep an eye out.
If you don't think the deck is stacked against us no matter what we do, think on what happens when we do go through 'the correct channels'. Here are two examples. A few months ago, I shared a post directly from the Victoria Police page looking for a man suspected of flashing women in a Melbourne park. He was photographed by a female jogger who reported him to the police. Despite the fact even the police considered this legitimate enough to seek further information on, my post was quickly filled with angry men insisting this woman had gone too far. That we couldn't be sure she was telling the truth. That she might be getting revenge on him. And – my favourite – that she was just doing it for attention. Never forget that women are not allowed to dictate what kind of attention we do or do not want.
And then there was this story last week. A flight attendant on Alaskan Airlines objected to the rude and sexist way a passenger spoke to her during the safety demonstration. She alerted her colleagues and, presumably, someone with authority in the airline. The passenger was escorted from the plane. A post describing this incident has since been inundated with people – mainly men – blasting her and other women for being too sensitive and not knowing how to 'take a joke'.
And there it is. That sickening feeling again that women are just expected to smile and play nice, to let the boys have their fun and to never ever call them on it or fight back because to do so is to execute the most vile and hateful of misandries.
The behaviour of these kinds of men is unlikely to change anytime soon. What IS changing are the limits to which women are willing to be pushed before we fight back against it. We have been silent and accommodating of our degradation for too long. Now, at last, we are learning to have each other's backs by any means necessary. Well might Trump stand there and talk about how much he loves women, but the fact is that he doesn't. Nor do the swamps of his supporters who speak about women in such demeaning tones.
Women have known these kinds of men for a long time. Now, with the help of each other, we're helping everyone else to know them too. Women didn't start this fight – but we're sure as hell going to be the ones to end it.
0 comments
New User? Sign up