Aleks Maric of the Kings holds Mark Worthington of the Taipans during the round five NBL match between the Sydney Kings and the Cairns Taipans at Qudos Bank Arena on November 7, 2016 in Sydney, Australia. Photo: Jason McCawley.
AFTER a start to the season that can only be described as an exercise in Tantric basketball, the Taipans FINALLY got their first home game of the season and the winning juices started flowing.
Oh boy was it worth the wait!
We’ve seen the Orange Men show the league that they are not just here to make up the numbers, they are as real as the impending presidency of Donald J Trump.
Last weekend’s performances against Sydney showed superlative, efficient offence mixed with Fearne tingling defence that ground the league’s most impressive payroll to a grinding halt.
And all without the services of Travis Trice who’s been out after a tangle with gravity in the ’Gong.
Taking the Kings to the brink, in Sydney, with all the home cooking that the whistle-mad monks could provide was impressive.
If not for a stone cold clutch basket from Kevin Lisch, the Taipans would have pulled off two straight wins against the league’s best team without their best player being on the court.
The absolute best part of the Kings game wasn’t anything to do with the basketball, but with the WWE-style Royal Rumble that happened on the sideline.
In the real world I’d never condone random violence, but a little bit of pantomime argy-bargy on the basketball court is a welcome dash of paprika.
After taking umbrage to a foul committed by Nnanna, part-time Justin Bieber impersonator and a man far too overconfident about his fighting weight class, Jason Cadee, started a bit of the old push and shove. Enter Mark “Tombstone” Worthington who took exception to Cadee taking exception and attempted to mediate the situation via the strategic application of force.
Little did he know that Aleks “The Truck” Maric, a man with the body and swagger of a Dapto plumber, would take exception to Wortho taking exception to the initial Cadee taking of exception.
Nek minnit, as they say in the classics, Maric has Wortho in a Mucho Man Randy Savage choker hold! At that point the lights dimmed and Taipans coach Aaron “The Nature Boy” Fearne tore off his suit, revealing sequined wrestling trunks, and launched himself into the fray.
Showing bravery eclipsing Hulk Hogan’s historic first title win over Andre the Giant, Fearne shaped up to Maric, and if not for intervention of the refs, a cage would have descended on to the court for the first NBL Cage Match.
The passion from the players and the coaches is proof positive that even though they’re fighting against some titanic salary caps, they will never, ever take a backwards step.
In Orange County we are one in, all in!
Originally published as Don’t get this lot feeling snaky
