Would you want your dad with you as you give birth?

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 Photo: Getty Images

When planning to give birth, most women consider who they want to be with them in the delivery room.

Usually it's their partner (if they have one). Sometimes it's their mother, sister or best friend.

But for others, it's their own father.

That was the case for Rebecca.

Early on in her pregnancy, Rebecca thought about asking both her parents to be with her in the delivery room, along with her husband Fabian, as she is "very close" to both her mum and dad.

"It's always a given that girls have their mum, and partner, in the delivery room but often dads are left out," Rebecca reasoned.

She ran this thought past her husband, who thought it was a great idea.

So Rebecca then approached her father, Russell, with the question.

"He said, 'Oh, I'd love to'," she recalls. While he never would have thought to ask Rebecca if he could be there, she says he was "so excited and happy" that she had requested it.

When Rebecca went into labour, Russell was a "wonderful support".

"He was very emotionally overwhelmed at the experience.

"He cried quite a lot of tears when he saw me going through my contractions, but he was very supportive, saying: 'You can do this'."

(In case you're wondering, Russell made it clear from the get go that he would stay up near Rebecca's head for the birth part, as he felt "more comfortable" being up that end.)

When Rebecca's daughter, Lennox, was born, Fabian cut the cord and had the first cuddle, before handing her over to her grandparents.

"There were wonderful tears of joy," at that point, Rebecca says.

Midwife Amanda Bude from Groovy Babies says Rebecca's far from the only mum who chose to have her father by her side when she gave birth.

While she believes it's still fairly uncommon, it usually occurs when the mother-to-be has an "incredible bond" with her father.

It also happens when a woman no longer has a mother, or doesn't have a bond with her mother.

"Sometimes the dad [father of the baby] may not be able to be present due to external commitments of work, and the dad or dad-in-law steps in," says Amanda.

Clinical psychologist Dr Lara Winten says she's had the "privilege" of developing birth plans with expectant parents, which have included having their own father in the delivery room, and that she encourages such decisions.

"Being able to recognise one's own individual needs and accepting that there is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to access support during delivery is really healthy psychologically."

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If you're hoping to have your dad there when you give birth, Dr Winten applauds your decision, saying you need to do what is in line with your values.

When you do that, she reassures, "You can't go wrong".

Amanda agrees. She says if having your father there makes you feel "safe and secure", then by all means, invite him in.

Mind you, Amanda says most mums have one rule when their dads are in the birthing suite: that is, for him to stay away from the "business end" of things.

While Rebecca has no regrets about having her father with her when she gave birth, she admits the story does raise a few eyebrows.

When she told work colleagues about it, "They were like, 'Oh, really?' They were a bit surprised and thought it was odd."

But Rebecca is thrilled her dad was part of her birth experience, and encourages other women to consider asking their fathers to be there, too.

"I think it's a wonderful thing," she says.