It’s a bit of a fixer-upper with an almost-mansard roof on the tower and an oculus above the other circular casement (which doesn’t open) and a corner arch designed by M.C. Escher.
And it’s a full 180 to Steve Davis, retiring from the world of snooker at the age of 58 to pursue his dreams of being a techno DJ. We should all be so lucky!
Hell isn’t one of the guests, it’s the building itself. It has boarded-up windows and everything! They clearly set up shop in the local haunted house, and that’s why Hell knows it’s welcome.
“Can I have the suite?”
“No, it’s occupied by my prize cat Fluffy.”
“All right… so can I have the room with the view?”
“No, it’s occupied by my two other cats.”
“Is there any room without cats?”
“He he he…”
“This isn’t a B&B! It’s HELLLL!!! AARRRGGHH!!”
Every bed and breakfast is a bit of hell on its own, however.. “They were supposed to be saving the world, not running a B&B..”
And? The guest is hell, not the BB&B so exactly what is compelling them to run a B&B? And, obviously, running it poorly.
“Brad,perhaps we could get a few proper guests if we,say, fixed those windows rather than boarding them up?”
“But Camilla, then we might get advanced bookings and we’ll never get out of here to save the world! ”
“Well then Brad, why don’t we just leave and get on with it?”
“Our guests Camilla? Are you suggesting we just up and..”
“Guest, Brad. We’ve only the one. ”
“Oh are we playing this little game again? You know, such attitudes are why the hospitality industry is declining at a..”
“Brad have we actually been paid? In actual money and not promises of infernal wealth and power? Have you been in the upstairs hall? It reeks of sulfur and brimstone. I shudder to think what the bedding will smell like.”
“Camilla do you understand what a guest is? What is the point of getting into this business at all if you’re going to nitpick every little thing a guest may do?”
“We’re not supposed to BE in this business, we’re supporting to be saving the world. ”
“Oh and that reminds me Camilla. Our guest is STILL waiting for that infant he requested. Something about dark sacrificial rites. Why haven’t you provided it? Hmm? Hmm? What is our motto here?”
You all jest, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the blurb is an extremely clever wordplay on one of the characters being in fact named “Mr Hell”. I wouldn’t be all that much more surprised if, in a completely unexpected twist, Mr Hell turns out to be literally the devil. Just a wild guess.
April 18th, 2016 at 9:12 am
“…a B&B where Hell was one of the guests.” The long-awaited Jean-Paul Sartre episode of ‘Fawlty Towers’.
April 18th, 2016 at 10:36 am
It looks very nineteen-seventies.
April 18th, 2016 at 11:00 am
I thought that the cat was the new space sheep, for a moment.
April 18th, 2016 at 12:34 pm
“… Where He’ll was one of the guests” – can a place be a guest?
Either way – I wouldn’t fancy their trip advisor reviews. Cat hair everywhere.
April 18th, 2016 at 1:34 pm
How has this house survived w/o a lightning rod?
April 18th, 2016 at 2:06 pm
As someone wiser than I once said, ‘Hell is getting cat fur out of other people’s lycra outfits.’
April 18th, 2016 at 2:14 pm
Of course they mean Richard Hell, performing his famous song The Blank Stare Generation, as demonstrated by puss.
April 18th, 2016 at 3:08 pm
I’m thinking the cover was deemed too scary, so they added the cat last minute to lighten things up a bit.
April 18th, 2016 at 3:41 pm
It’s a bit of a fixer-upper with an almost-mansard roof on the tower and an oculus above the other circular casement (which doesn’t open) and a corner arch designed by M.C. Escher.
April 18th, 2016 at 5:23 pm
Hellcats of the B&B
April 18th, 2016 at 5:48 pm
And it’s a full 180 to Steve Davis, retiring from the world of snooker at the age of 58 to pursue his dreams of being a techno DJ. We should all be so lucky!
April 18th, 2016 at 5:49 pm
Hell isn’t one of the guests, it’s the building itself. It has boarded-up windows and everything! They clearly set up shop in the local haunted house, and that’s why Hell knows it’s welcome.
This can only end . . . badly.
April 18th, 2016 at 6:51 pm
What kind of guest-house has a boarded-up window facing the approach road?
April 18th, 2016 at 7:22 pm
“Can I have the suite?”
“No, it’s occupied by my prize cat Fluffy.”
“All right… so can I have the room with the view?”
“No, it’s occupied by my two other cats.”
“Is there any room without cats?”
“He he he…”
“This isn’t a B&B! It’s HELLLL!!! AARRRGGHH!!”
April 19th, 2016 at 4:13 am
What, no comments yet about the giant genie eyes in the air? I guess around GSS such things are just too common for remark.
April 19th, 2016 at 8:18 am
Giant Eyeballs In The Sky is such a tired, shopworn trope that it’s hardly worth a yawn.
The best comment to that cliché might be Philip K. Dick’s novel EYE IN THE SKY, where — surprise! — a giant eye appears in the sky.
April 20th, 2016 at 1:47 pm
Every bed and breakfast is a bit of hell on its own, however.. “They were supposed to be saving the world, not running a B&B..”
And? The guest is hell, not the BB&B so exactly what is compelling them to run a B&B? And, obviously, running it poorly.
“Brad,perhaps we could get a few proper guests if we,say, fixed those windows rather than boarding them up?”
“But Camilla, then we might get advanced bookings and we’ll never get out of here to save the world! ”
“Well then Brad, why don’t we just leave and get on with it?”
“Our guests Camilla? Are you suggesting we just up and..”
“Guest, Brad. We’ve only the one. ”
“Oh are we playing this little game again? You know, such attitudes are why the hospitality industry is declining at a..”
“Brad have we actually been paid? In actual money and not promises of infernal wealth and power? Have you been in the upstairs hall? It reeks of sulfur and brimstone. I shudder to think what the bedding will smell like.”
“Camilla do you understand what a guest is? What is the point of getting into this business at all if you’re going to nitpick every little thing a guest may do?”
“We’re not supposed to BE in this business, we’re supporting to be saving the world. ”
“Oh and that reminds me Camilla. Our guest is STILL waiting for that infant he requested. Something about dark sacrificial rites. Why haven’t you provided it? Hmm? Hmm? What is our motto here?”
“The world is doomed.”
“No,that’s not it.”
April 20th, 2016 at 3:58 pm
Perhaps it is the B&B equivalent to Rent-a-wreck.
April 22nd, 2016 at 12:38 am
Hell may not have been one of the guests but Fredric Brown was…
April 27th, 2016 at 6:56 am
You all jest, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the blurb is an extremely clever wordplay on one of the characters being in fact named “Mr Hell”. I wouldn’t be all that much more surprised if, in a completely unexpected twist, Mr Hell turns out to be literally the devil. Just a wild guess.
April 27th, 2016 at 6:58 am
By the way, is it “Summon the Keeper” by Tanya Huff, or “The Keeper” by Tanya Huff Summon?
April 27th, 2016 at 10:40 pm
I think it’s “Tanya Huff Summon, The Keeper” and then the cat ate the title or something.