Pilot

She's Out of My League (2010)

Actors: Jay Baruchel (actor), Molly Maginnis (costume designer), Elizabeth Himelstein (miscellaneous crew), Michael Klastorin (miscellaneous crew), T.J. Miller (actor), Shelly Strong (miscellaneous crew), Adam LeFevre (actor), Tony Amen (actor), Trevor Eve (actor), David Sousa (miscellaneous crew), William Kania (actor), David Sousa (miscellaneous crew), Monika Petrillo (miscellaneous crew), Andrew Daly (actor), Gerard Averill (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: Kirk is an average Joe who works as a TSA agent at the Pittsburgh airport with his friends. The status quo of his fairly monotonous life ends when he meets Molly, a smart, kind and gorgeous blonde. Because she's way out of his league (she's a hard 10 and he is but a 5), Kirk knows there's no way on earth she's ever going to fall for him. Or is there...?

Keywords: 2000s, 21st-birthday, advice, air-show, airline-employee, airplane, airport, airport-security, apostrophe-in-title, art-museum
Genres: Comedy, Romance,
Taglines: How can a 10 go for a 5? It'll all add up March 12 When she's this hot, You get one shot.

Quotes:

"Plane Doctor": Excuse me. You're not supposed to be on your phone. It's bad for the plane.::Patty: Oh, excuse me? Are you a plane doctor? No? So shut the fuck up!

Patty: Go shit in your hand.

Kirk: Stainer, I know you don't like her very much.::Stainer: Nooo, no. I hate her. In fact, the day you broke up with her I marked that down on my calendar as a day of rejoicement. I'm going to celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, we smash it.

Patty: You look just like someone I went to high school with.::Stainer: Oh yeah? What high school? Maybe it was me.::Patty: No, he's in a coma.::Stainer: Huh. Who brought the good news bear? Somebody give her some fucking honey.

Stainer: I love Kirkey but let's face it, the guy's a 5. Meanwhile, this Molly is a hard 10.::Devon: He's at least a 6...::Stainer: 6? Alright, you go ahead and pop rainbows into his asshole, but I'm just being honest.

Kirk: Patty's not a bitch, she's uh... different.::Stainer: Yeah, different in that she's a bitch and other people aren't.

Stainer: I love Kirkey but let's face it, the guy's a 5. Meanwhile, this Molly is a hard 10.::Devon: Stainer, that's just dirty pool. He's at least a 6...::Stainer: 6? Alright, you go ahead and pop rainbows into his asshole, but I'm just being honest.

Kirk: Marnie, I know that we agreed to take some time off and I think that was a great idea. My God. Gave us both a chance to experiment, if you will, and meet all sorts of new and interesting, different people. You did quite a bit more experimenting than I did. A lot more experimenting. You are like a scientist. Beakers... But obviously I'm cool with that, cause the thing is, I think, we're stronger as a result. But here's the thing, Marnie... it's been two years. That's a lot of time off. And I'm ready for some time on. I miss you. I miss us. I got something for you.::[pulls out earring box]::Kirk: What do you think?::Stainer: Aww, man, it's depressing. I mean, it's really depressing. It's horrible to watch you like this.::Devon: I think it's really pretty. How's it work?::[opens box]::Devon: Oh...::Jack: What the hell is that?::Kirk: I got it for Valentine's Day, right before she broke up with me. Stainer, I know you don't like her very much.::Stainer: No, no, I hate her. In fact, the day that you broke up with her, I marked that down in my calendar as a day of rejoicement. I'm gonna celebrate it with a cake with her face on it, but instead of eating it, I'm gonna smash it. OK? You can do a lot better. You deserve a lot better, Kirky.::Kirk: I thank you. But, I've seen what's out there and I don't think it gets any better.::Jack: When have you been out there? When have you left the apartment?::Kirk: I went out on four different dates, with three girls and that guy. I don't know what his intentions were, but it's fine. We had a great conversation. I think he was just looking for a friend.::Jack: Do you know what your problem is, Kirk?::Kirk: What?::Jack: You're a moodle.::Kirk: A moodle?::Jack: A man poodle. Girls, they wanna take you out on a walk. They wanna feed you, they wanna cuddle you, but make no mistake, no girl wants to do the moodle.::Stainer: No one would ever fuck a moodle.::Jack: No, he's right. I'm telling you, if you wanna get Marney back, she has got to believe that from the second she broke up with you, your life has been a non-stop snatch parade.::Devon: Or... you could just be who you are. Why can't that be good enough?::Stainer: [holding earring box] Why don't you just put your fucking balls in here?

Stainer: Okay, anyway... I love Kirky, but let's face it, the guy's a five.::Devon: Stainer, that's just a dirty pool. He's at least a six.::Stainer: A six? Alright you go ahead and pump rainbows into his asshole. I'm just being honest.::Jack: Come on, cut him some slack. Look. Half a point cause he's a nice guy. Right? And he's funny, so that's half a point each. That brings him to six. Devon's right.::Stainer: But he drives a shitbox, deduct a point. Take a point off.::Kirk: Wait, what's wrong with my Neon?::Stainer: Oh, I don't know, except the people who make that car don't even like it. So, we're back to a five.::Jack: Five.::Stainer: Meanwhile, this Molly, is a hard ten. And that five point disparity, that's a chasm. Chasm? Chasm. You can't jump more than two points.::Kirk: Where do you get this shit?::Stainer: Trust me, Kirk. I can't even get a ten.::Jack: [chuckles] Oh. Not even you, huh?::Stainer: I'm a six! OK?::Jack: Bullshit, you're a six. Then what am I?::Stainer: You're an eight.::Jack: OK, you're a six then.::Stainer: But I get a one point bump cause I'm in a band.::Kirk: Stainer, you're in a Hall and Oats cover band. I'm pretty sure that's a deduction.::Stainer: Adult Education is a tribute band. So that puts me back at seven. On a good day, the best I can bag is a nine.::Kirk: What about your crappy car?::Stainer: Artist's exemption. I'm expected to have a shitty car.::Jack: Is there an artist exemption for talking out your ass?::Stainer: Yeah, it's called being a rock star, Jack! Look it up in the dictionary. It's right next to "fuck you!"::Devon: I think this system's ridiculous. All right? If someone really loves you, then you are a ten.::Jack: My God. What are you... Are you Hannah Montanna? Because nothing you are saying right now is of any help to Kirk.

Kirk: Devon, why would you tell her that I broke up with Molly?::Devon: Cause I thought you had.::Kirk: No. We're just in a sticky wicket.::Stainer: A "sticky wicket"?::Kirk: Yeah. A rough patch. Rough pumpkins.::Stainer: And how many times have you called her?::Kirk: Five.::Stainer: And how many times have you really called her?::Kirk: Seventeen.::Stainer: It's done. Tao of Love.::Kirk: What?::Stainer: That's what I call it. The Tao of Love. You being with Molly defies, like, forces of nature. It's over man.::Kirk: No. It's not over. Frankly, I'm sick of all you guys pretending like you know where I'm coming from. None of you know what I'm going through right now.::Stainer: Tina Jordan does.::Kirk: Who the hell is Tina Jordan?::Stainer: She was my Molly.::Kirk: You never mentioned her.::Stainer: I didn't want to jinx it. But she was perfect. Yeah, perfect. Freckled shoulders. Anyway, two months into it, bam, she dumps me. I shoulda seen it coming too, cause she was a ten. Like a hard ten. I was a six, possibly a seven. Either way, I couldn't cover the spread. The universe spoke and I was depressed for months.::Kirk: That's what that was? You said you had mono.::Stainer: Yeah. Mono of the heart.::Jack: OK, my God, how's your vagina?::Stainer: Shut up, Jack!

Svolochi (2006)

Actors: Vladimir Kashpur (actor), Andrey Panin (actor), Andrey Krasko (actor), Tchavdar Georgiev (editor), Aleksandr Atanesyan (producer), Aleksandr Atanesyan (director), Aleksandr Atanesyan (writer), Vladimir Andreev (actor), Armen Adilkhanyan (producer), Arkadiy Ukupnik (composer), Aleksey Zaytsev (actor), Aleksandr Golovin (actor), Gevorg Nersisyan (producer), Denis Karasyov (actor), Vladimir Kunin (writer),

Plot: The year is 1943. Colonel Vishnevskiy (Andrei Panin) receives an order from the government to train a group of saboteur soldiers who should stop the actions of a German army group called "Edelweiss". The mission is a top-secret one. Vishnevskiy trains young (14-to-15-year-old) boys from juveniles. They all know that after the mission is finished they all will be eliminated since they all know too much to be left alive.

Keywords: adolescent, airplane, blood, boy, bullying, child-killing-child, child-murder, children-singing, controversy, dead-children
Genres: Action, Drama, War,

Quotes:

[last lines]::Konstantin Arkadyevich Chernov: Tyapa! [pause] We finally met again, Tyapkin... Valentin Petrovich.

V dvizhenii (2002)

Actors: Fedor Bondarchuk (actor), Yuriy Kutsenko (actor), Mikhail Efremov (actor), Fedor Bondarchuk (producer), Vyacheslav Razbegaev (actor), Nikolay Chindyaykin (actor), Konstantin Khabenskiy (actor), Konstantin Murzenko (actor), Marina Golub (actress), Mariya Murashova (producer), Sergey Melkumov (producer), Leonid Gromov (actor), Aleksey Makarov (actor), Yusup Bakhshiev (actor), Elena Yatsura (producer),

Genres: Crime, Drama, Romance,

South Pacific (2001)

Actors: Lynn Josephson Delaney (miscellaneous crew), Vincent Paterson (miscellaneous crew), Pablo Ferro (miscellaneous crew), Oscar Hammerstein II (writer), Glenn Close (producer), Reza Mokhtar (miscellaneous crew), Howard Braunstein (producer), Michael Jaffe (producer), Jack Thompson (actor), Glenn Close (actress), Harry Connick Jr. (actor), Rade Serbedzija (actor), Damon Herriman (actor), Vincent Paterson (miscellaneous crew), Joshua Logan (writer),

Plot: During World War II in the South Pacific love is found between a young nurse, Nellie Forbush (Glenn Close) and an older French plantation owner, Emile de Becque (Rade Serbedzija). The war is tearing them apart.

Keywords: bali-hai, based-on-book, based-on-short-stories, based-on-stage-musical, based-on-stage-musical-based-on-book, based-on-stage-musical-based-on-short-stories, cross-dressing, dame, death, father-daughter-relationship
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Musical, Romance, War,

What Planet Are You From? (2000)

Actors: Caroline Aaron (actress), Nora Dunn (actress), Jose Rosete (actor), Phill Lewis (actor), Brian Markinson (actor), Annette Bening (actress), Ben Kingsley (actor), Willie Garson (actor), John Goodman (actor), Garry Shandling (actor), Richard Jenkins (actor), Phil Hawn (actor), Greg Kinnear (actor), Judy Greer (actress), Janeane Garofalo (actress),

Plot: A highly-evolved planet, whose denizens feel no emotion and reproduce by cloning, plans to take over Earth from the inside by sending an operative, fashioned with a humming, mechanical penis, to impregnate an earthling and stay until the birth. The alien, Harold Anderson, goes to Phoenix as a banker and sets to work finding a mate. His approaches to women are inept, and the humming phallus doesn't help, but on the advice of a banking colleague, he cruises an AA meeting, meets Susan, and somehow convinces her to marry. The clock starts to tick: will she conceive, have a baby, and lose Harold (and the child) to his planet before he discovers emotion and starts to care?

Keywords: adultery, alcoholism, alien, alien-invasion, aviation, baby, banker, box-office-flop, erotica, face-slap
Genres: Comedy, Sci-Fi,
Taglines: To save his planet, an alien must find a woman on Earth to have his baby. There's just one problem.

Quotes:

Perry Gordon: You're marrying a woman you've never had sex with? Are you insane? Didn't you see The Crying Game? You think she's got the goods under her skirt, you lift it up, it's Oscar Meyer time!

Graydon: You appear intelligent, but when you open your mouth the effect is spoiled.

Roland Jones: I've got an alien, I've got an alien.

[after sex]::Susan Anderson: I never thought I'd say it, but I can't take any more.

Susan Anderson: We've been screwing for 21 hours non-stop.

Helen Gordon: You're making a noise.::Harold Anderson: That's my penis. It hums.::Helen Gordon: I guess it doesn't know the words. Well, I can teach it a few.

[first lines]::Title Card: At the far reaches of the Universe lies a planet of men who have advanced technologically beyond the realm of human comprehension. This is no breeding - they are a product of cloning, and their reproductive organs have shrunk and disappeared. All emotions have been bred out of this race and each succeeding generation has become more ambitious and driven than the previous one. They want to rule the Universe, and now they are planning their next takeover from the inside.

Graydon: This planet is 4 solar systems from our own, across the Sea of Bel, at a fixed position of 13-6-90 on sub-center grid 10. It is a solid rich mass, with a dense core of magnetic metallic liquid. The atmosphere is composed of nitrogen, oxygen, and carbon, in amounts 78, 21, and 1% by volume. This is our target. This is Earth. And this is where one of you will serve your planet through the act of pro-creation.

Computer Voice: [rotating hologram] The Earth woman's reproductive organs are located here. [abdomen lights up] The access port is here. [lights up] Insertion in any other access port will not result in pregnancy. To get the woman in a receptive mood for insertion, compliment her on these areas. [hair, eyes, breasts, buttocks, legs] She will also enjoy being told that she smells nice, and that her footwear is stylish.

Graydon: The success of our planet and domination of the universe rests in your hands.::Harold Anderson: Thank you, sir.::Graydon: Now if you'll go with these men, we'll arrange for your transfer, and attach your penis.

Darna! Ang pagbabalik (1994)

Actors: Peque Gallaga (director), William C. Leary (producer), Mars Ravelo (writer), Eric M. Cuatico (producer), Cherie Gil (actress), Vic del Rosario Jr. (producer), Marivic B. Ong (producer), Romy Romulo (actor), Mel Kimura (actress), Perla Bautista (actress), Ai-Ai de las Alas (actress), Edu Manzano (actor), Pen Medina (actor), Danny Gloria (editor), Lore Reyes (director),

Plot: Valentina, Darna's snake-haired arch enemy, is trying to take over the Phillipines through subliminal messages on religious TV shows. Darna has her own problems, however, as she has lost her magic pearl and with it the ability to transform into her scantily clad super self. Trapped as her alter-ego, the plucky reporter Narda, she must try to regain the pearl and foil Valentina's plans.

Keywords: character-name-in-title, darna, exclamation-point-in-title, flood, good-versus-evil, gorgon, punctuation-in-title, sea, sequel, slingshot
Genres: Action, Adventure, Fantasy,

Johnny cien pesos (1994)

Actors: Patricia Rivera (actress), Armando Araiza (actor), Luis Alarcón (actor), Armando Silvestre (actor), Sergio Hernández (actor), Danielle Fillios (editor), Hugo Medina (actor), Boris Quercia (actor), Cristián Campos (actor), Willy Semler (actor), Luis Gnecco (actor), Patricia Guzmán (actress), Gabriela Hernández (actress), Paulina Urrutia (actress), Aldo Parodi (actor),

Plot: Johnny, the young student and his 4 friends, decide to rob a bank. They pretend they are customers, and suddenly they take out pistols and force the staff to give all the money to them. When they try to leave, the police appear. The media deal with this story immediately and broadcast everything ...

Keywords: airplane, armed-robbery, based-on-true-story, botched-crime, brutality, bus, cause-celebre, character-name-in-title, chile, chilean-police
Genres: Action, Crime, Drama, Thriller,
Taglines: Searching for glory, he found hell

Ride a Crooked Mile (1938)

Actors: Eddie Acuff (actor), J.M. Kerrigan (actor), John Bleifer (actor), Ernie Adams (actor), Hal Craig (actor), Sam Ash (actor), Wade Crosby (actor), Leif Erickson (actor), James Flavin (actor), Eddie Borden (actor), Robert Gleckler (actor), Robert Homans (actor), Charles Anthony Hughes (actor), Joseph Crehan (actor), Fred Kohler Jr. (actor),

Genres: Western,
Taglines: BRUTE FORCE AGAINST TRUE LOVE! Which wins? You'll find the amazing answer in this new kind of picture thriller! Father and son fighting on opposite sides...for a woman...for honor...for country!

Brokiga blad (1931)

Actors: Victor Sjöström (actor), Sigurd Wallén (actor), Nils Lundell (actor), John Melin (actor), Edvin Adolphson (actor), Gustaf Molander (actor), Erik Forslund (actor), Ernst Brunman (actor), Weyler Hildebrand (actor), Gösta Gustafson (actor), Gösta Bodin (actor), Gustaf Edgren (actor), Eric Gustafson (actor), Anna-Lisa Baude (actress), Håkan Westergren (actor),

Genres: Comedy,

Wanted for Murder (1918)

Actors: Frank Hall Crane (director), Harry Rapf (producer), Elaine Hammerstein (actress), Irene Franklin (actress), Mrs. Allen Walker (actress), Lillian Hall (actress), John De Lacey (actor), S. Jay Kaufman (writer), Coolidge Streeter (writer), Ann Eggleston (actress), Burton Green (actor), Darby Holmes (actor), Charles Raven (actor), Allen Adams (actor),

Genres: Drama, War,