I read Senator Malcolm Roberts' scorching indictment of the CSIRO's criminal conspiracy to ruin us all, so you wouldn't have to.
This excellent report needs only a little more Comic Sans and Pepe the Frog to make it a classic of the genre.
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Press conference turns pear shaped
Watch One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts storm out of his own press conference after questions were asked about his colleague Rod Culleton.
It cunningly borrows the language of science to lure science into a sketchy back alley so Pepe can jump out with an axe handle and give that stupid science the vicious beatdown it's been asking for.
Ha! Peer review that, science.
"There is no justification for saying that human carbon dioxide output determines carbon dioxide levels in the air," the Roberts' report declares.
Carbon dioxide levels are instead a natural phenomenon, which anybody who's done the required reading on the dark web knows is a false flag operation to cover the chemtrails of the United Nations' black helicopters, as they criss-cross the flat earth – more on the observable but widely denied flatness of the Earth in Volume 2– seeking out innocent victims for their alien butt probe experiments.
Of course, you would already know this if you haunted the right online discussion boards and if you had not been duped by a corrupt mass media in league with the cute cuddly animal lobby and the powerful interests behind baby dolphins.
Oh, what's that?
You doubt the pernicious influence of dolphins? Then riddle me this: why does Australia with the world's largest fishing zone, import three quarters of the seafood we eat?
It's not just because of those dodgy little prawns in the fried rice we were forced to put in our meat pies when Malcolm Fraser threw open the gates to his refugee mates, so that somebody would watch his failing SBS network that he owned.
Ask yourself, as I did while reading Senator Roberts' report and adjusting the wire coat hanger I use as an alpha-wave filter, could it be because we have to compete with dolphins?
Why, yes! Yes it could.
Allow me to adjust the alpha waves and consider the empirical evidence in a way the CSIRO never does. Dolphins eat Fish Fingers and love them so much they would keep all of our Fish Fingers for themselves if they could. Nobody would deny this, not even a scientist.
Our seas are teeming with Fish Fingers but even though we are sovereign citizens we have to get our Fish Fingers from the freezer aisle at Woolies.
This is important, because as Senator Roberts helpfully reminds us in his report, "In the mid-1970s we were warned of imminent, catastrophic irreversible damage due to humans causing global freezing."
But the freezing never happened. And who profited from that I ask you?
The dolphins of course. It's always the dolphins.
If you would just read Senator Roberts' report you would understand this and all the other things too.
I thank you for your time and look forward to your comments.
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