sandra issue

so i have this friend.

her name is sandra.

she is bisexual. she is one of the two female friends who participated in kiss marie day, at the end of last semester, which in turn led to the whole 'marie goes bugfuck crazy and questions her sexuality and hides from other people except from emily, who she can't avoid and who is even screwier than she is' sheebang.

she also had something going last year with naomi, friend two of kiss marie day fame. i think they sort of discovered each other as nascent bisexuals, or maybe naomi had already discovered herself and just gave sandra a hand...whatever. they were involved, and marie had a little bit of a crush on both of them, and then that died a natural death and then any number of things intervened and the upshot of it all is that their relationship dissolved into angst and stress and me being a sudden replacement at a very strange pre-prom dinner last year. all of which is directly attributable to the two of them being fundamentally unsuited to realtionships.

anyhow, they had some sort of 'friends with benefits' dealie going, but i'm reasonably sure that all died on KMD, and anyway naomi was at college (she's finishing year one at present). all was good.

enter paco.

sandra met him at naomi's grad party shindig, and then i don't think they had any contact until a month or so ago, when she met him again. i've no clue how...i had no idea it would matter, and so i didn't pay attention, and then suddenly she's showing up at my place of work, semi-panicked because she made out with him the night before and thinks this makes her a big whore. (how, i don't know. i'm not in her head, thank god--what i get is bad enough.)

i convinced her she was not a whore as long as she wasn't doing as much with more than one person, or for money. which she wasn't. she left much reassured--in retrospect this was a bad thing.

because she's been seeing him regularly since then, and things have gotten really serious really fast. she says it's just friends with benefits, but i don't believe in that sort of shit anyways--i mean, it'd be nice if it worked, but i have trouble believing that there's ever a balanced relationship that has sex without love or commitment.

and if it were just that she'd found a sweet guy and was madly in love--or even in lust--with him, that wouldn't bother me...but this does, somehow. not sure why--

--well, that's actually a filthy lie. i know exactly why this bothers me so much, and i'm going to tell you.

she's going to tell (she's going to tell) she's going to tell (she's going to tell)

last night sandra gives me a call...i'm home, so it's after 9, and mom was still up, so it was before 11. so pretty late, for a school night when we didn't plan to get together for a last-ditch paper revision or something. she calls, and i'm bewildered, and she asks me if i'll provide her with an alibi for 5ish yesterday afternoon.

and i am grieved, shocked (but is it absolutely certain they are not gone to scotland?)

so i tell her, reasonably enough, that i will first need to know who i'm lying to and what i'll be covering for. turns out the alibi is for her parents, and that she was with paco, and 'you don't want to know what happened, seriously.'

--should mention here that, in defiance of my bans on sex info, i've been kept abreast of breaking paco news to this point...the tonsil hockey, the cuddles, the hand and blow jobs...and thus anything that makes sandra think long enough to realize that i don't fucking want to here it is likely to be big--

so i ask if her parents are likely to check this, and 'no, but i just needed to say i was out with someone, and...just tell them if they ask, ok?'

well, fine, sandra, but you need to understand--i don't know your parents. we've been introduced a few times, i've talked to them one the phone before you picked up, but only enough to establish myself as your friend. i couldn't pick them out of a lineup of diminutive asians to save my ass. besides, your parents don't want you going to wellesley because they're worried you'll become a 'girl-lover,' (which, by the way, is mere paranoid conjecture on their part--they don't know about the naomi affair, or KMD, or any of the experimentation sandra's done...they're just terrified she'll grow up and become a lesbian, because that would apparently be bad for their asian parent status or somethin) so wouldn't it be a good thing for them to think you were out with a boy and not with your strange girlfriends? not that they'd approve of all you get up to with paco, but you don't have to tell them everything...just enough to make them believe you're straight.

so yeah...i think this whole dealie is going too far too fast and she's going to get hurt in a big way. i don't like it. naomi agrees, as does emily. this is NOT OK.

...in other news, sandra's torn between wellesley and chicago...i'm praying she'll embrace her inner lesbian...or at least chose a dorm far far away from me.

that's quite enough for now...lord i'm verbose...enjoy the pretty new template! and comments...i'm so glad i finally made that work.

peace and shit like that.

marie