Spinster aunt leafs through Daily Mail, requires anti-emetic

You nailed it!

And, regarding the Mail Online, did you see that story on today’s issue that talks about women using “one night stands” to get themselves pregnant on purpose??? Good grief.

“Homosexuality is a form of social behaviour, which is caused by failure of governments to educate the people on the correct use of their reproductive process.”

Because people in that country are apparently so stupid they can’t figure out what to do with their own naughty bits without government intervention.

Sometimes the reminders of patriarchy’s omnipresence and brutality are utterly overwhelming. How can one talk to these people? How can one argue with them, reason with them? I mean, they don’t even grasp that women are human beings. What the hell can we do?

Argh, it’s only just past noon and already I need a drink.

The rape of a lesbian is something of a victimless crime in that it is a quest for ownership. See, a lesbian is an unowned woman. By raping her, a man has planted his pole in her / on her as a way of claiming her, both for himself and for manity, closing the momentary lapse in patriarchal order. No woman can be unowned.

Femininity is what women do to keep from being pathologized, criminalized, ostracized, jailed, raped, and butchered.

I would add the corollary: Crimes against even the most feminized of women: including abuse, rape and murder are done to women at random in order to keep them in line, no matter how well they have been complying. We see the good cop / bad cop scenario played out time and time again; for there is no attainable goal in femininity- the goal posts keep shifting. You actually CAN be too thin. You can be too hawt, you slut, you! But you can never just Be. The corrective measure so thoughtfully implemented in all cases is the same.

For the Rape class, it’s a win/win: They rape with impunity, regardless of whether there has been a female challenge to patriarchal omnipotence: there is always a fifth column that must be demoralized. Besides, it’s fun. The only sticky point is when an owned woman is raped. Then it becomes a property struggle betwixt men to see who is the maniest of them all.

The Daily Lobotomy is very good at perpetuating that which they claim to hate. I can’t look at that trainwreck of a rag anymore, it makes my blood pressure skyrocket.

Masculinity is what phallotarians do to keep women feminized. Femininity is what women do to keep from being pathologized, criminalized, ostracized, jailed, raped, and butchered.

I knew this intuitively as a young woman but didn’t have the words for it. I am merely surviving my gender but I have never been allowed to be a full human being.

Twisty dear,
Could you clarify a point for me?

I don’t completely follow your argument about the terms ‘corrective’ and ‘cure’-

“It is lobe-blowing that even a moderately sentient being could put “cure” and “rape” together in the same sentence and expect not to be punched in the face,”

Would you like to punch a) the idiot coiner (probably a perpetrator?), or b) all users of the words in inverted commas (all UK news coverage of this that I have seen)?

“Rape is rape, and all attempts to categorize it (”date rape,” “spousal abuse”) represent the rationalizations, clinicalizations, and sanitizations of the occupying forces”

Of course agree that the terms ‘date rape’ and ‘spousal abuse’ are abhorrent and offensive, implying reasonable expectations and shared responsibility. To me, the terms ‘corrective rape’ and ‘cure’ (when used by journos) aren’t there to rationalize, but to point out the full horror of the rationale- viz, probably all flavours of rapists have delusional justifications for their actions, but these ones have the evilest possible delusions.
Surely, even readers of the Daily Mail will pick up on the inverted commas and read in the shudder of horrible irony they are meant to convey?

All murder is equally murderous and results uniformly in death, but is there REALLY no difference between being chosen at random out of a crowd for stabbing by a psychopath, and being specifically targeted because of your sexual orientation and exterminated?

I wanted to make a comparison to the use of the term ‘ethnic cleansing’ here, but it punned unfortunately with ‘sanitizations of the occupying forces’

Hugs,
N

“femininity is what women do to keep from being pathologized, criminalized, ostracized, jailed, raped, and butchered.”

You said it all right there. Of course, it doesn’t work, but it works better than the alternative.

@Hedonistic Pleasureseeker

Being raped sure corrected me of the desire to sleep with men.

Thanks for joining the dots so eloquently, Twisty.

If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard ‘God, it’s just a newspaper..!’ or ‘I only read it for the weather/horoscope(hah!)/gardening column’, I’d be on holiday somewhere, not posting this.

They love pretending to be shocked at horrific crimes such as this (but as you spotted with the Sun’s recent coverage of the computer rape game, it’s mainly so they can lovingly report every detail), but give them an opportunity to link gay men and paedophilia, or lesbians and any kind of rights issue, and they’ll be spewing the hate-burps before you can say ‘reactionary arseholes’.

Your post is so perfectly structured! Your writing just gets better and better.

This corrective rape idea is a construct of the pornographic mindset. All porn rape scenarios result in mind-blowing orgasms all round. Actual rape scenarios result in mind-blowing emotional damage all round. You probably can’t get to this idea without porn as a reference.

I wish that it were some use to point out that many ways of referring to rape are actually porn story plots rather than real descriptions. But the day is fast approaching where any hint of shame about being outed as a porn enthusiast will be completely gone, even among god bags.

Do you suppose the Daily Mail’s set-up is linked to marketing research? The assumption that rape and fashion commentary — both being “girly subjects” — go together like peas and carrots is grotesque, yeah, but what if they sort of do in the sense that men just don’t read the articles about rape? Which is of course part of the patriarchal dealie-o (I love your writing, and if I am especially grateful for anything it is for the introduction of this word to my vocab), all I am saying is that this might also tell us something depressing about how men vs. women read the news.

“It is certainly strange that these rather misguided women choose 50 as the age to ’start their lives again’.”

It is not strange the Man-o-pause made me do it.

And I am so glad.

Ditto on what’s been said about the whipsmart writing on this post.

The high quality post also spun off some high quality blaming in the comments.

The comments about rape being a better “cure” for heterosexuality – spot on.

And this:

“Crimes against even the most feminized of women: including abuse, rape and murder are done to women at random in order to keep them in line, no matter how well they have been complying. We see the good cop / bad cop scenario played out time and time again; for there is no attainable goal in femininity- the goal posts keep shifting. You actually CAN be too thin. You can be too hawt, you slut, you! But you can never just Be.”

Brilliantly stated.

I think also worth mentioning his how much feminization women have to participate in just to get and keep a job.

Let’s hear it for the “misguided” women over 50! I can vouch for the fact that the patriarchy lies, youth and beauty for women are highly over rated. Life starts to get much more fun after 40. Something magical happens, you just stop caring about what they want, how they define you, to differing degrees of course, but I absolutely love hanging out with older women. In general they know how to cut thru the crap.

“Lesbianism as a concept profoundly irks Dude Nation…” Oh so true. And anybody can be a lesbian, all you have to do is step out of line.

What a marvelous gift….just to BE. It’s a fine dream.

And all-girls schools are the BOMB. My college was all-female, and it was awesome. :D

It’s true — femininity is a game women play to avoid torment, and it doesn’t even work.
I used to get beaten up and degraded constantly when I looked “like a dyke”, but ever since I feminized myself in an attempt to better fit in, I’ve been mercifully relieved of this torment.

However, now I must torment myself. I work at a small company with only women, including a woman boss and company-owner, and although they are all friendly I still spend cumulative hours every week wondering, “Do they worry that I might be a sexual threat or a weirdo because my hair isn’t long or cute?”
And while I am probably the dykiest of all of us, I am the only one who puts makeup on in the mornings — to go work at a warehouse.

After all of that, it doesn’t even matter if my shirt looks too masculine and my hair more butchy than pixie, or that I have on green eyeshadow and look good in a pencil skirt. If some man wants to rape me, degrade me, anything, then he still can and there is absolutely nothing I can do, before during or after the fact.

It’s a trick the P plays and I’m stuck in it. I come here for reassurance that I’m not alone — because the friends I try to talk to tell me I am crazy, and it would be better if I didn’t think of life “that way.”

By the way, Cottonpants — what you wrote about is EXACTLY why I transgendered a few years ago, and EXACTLY why I transgendered back.

I have to say, the batter blaster is fantastic.

@nails
“Un feminine women run a higher risk of sexual harassment as well, or at least thats what the american psychological association concluded awhile back.”

Really? Do you have a link? I’m interested in hearing more about this, because I’ve definitely received a lot less overt male sexual attention (both “positive” and negative) since I stopped wearing the feminine uniform, started binding my breasts, etc.

My guess is that said “finding” is just another attempt to scare women out of deviating.

You know, now that I’m thinking about it, though, I can tell you that other young women used to stare at me coldly when I was out in public in female swag. The young men mostly ignored me. Now that I go out in male swag, however, it’s the young men who give me the cold stares, and the young women who ignore me. Kind of interesting.

taggles- the most depressing thing about that video is that there are people willing to go on record, on camera, to state matter-of-factly that of course rape is viable tool for curing lesbians. We hear these things implied or dog-whistled constantly, but to hear it said so bluntly is… disturbingly illuminating.

Yay Twisty! This is just what I needed today. I saw this article yesterday and it made me want to die or kill something. (Given, it was in a newspaper less offensive, but that didn’t help the vileness of the story.)

Yay Felicity about the femininity requirement for working. I had a little talk with my job agent about that just this week. The upshot was that pornifying myself was not an option and that I would be leaving. Sorry, bub. There goes your $200/month commission for this year! We all end up making sacrifices just to survive in the patriarchy, but pornulation isn’t one this hairy dyke is going to make.

Interestingly enough, these British/American news articles usually talk about rape or the abuse of women in OTHER countries, while posting other headlines and ads of the misogynist variety about Western female celebs and weight loss on the same web or newspaper page. Hypocrisy much?

This corrective rape idea is a construct of the pornographic mindset. All porn rape scenarios result in mind-blowing orgasms all round. Actual rape scenarios result in mind-blowing emotional damage all round. You probably can’t get to this idea without porn as a reference.

I wish that it were some use to point out that many ways of referring to rape are actually porn story plots rather than real descriptions. But the day is fast approaching where any hint of shame about being outed as a porn enthusiast will be completely gone, even among god bags.

Kudos to humanbein for pointing this out. I never thought about these rape “type” labels in that way exactly, and it’s very illuminating. Rape is rape is rape. Period.

What I’ve noticed, ever since I have cut my hair much shorter and got a nose ring, is that some people (whether male or female) are not sure how to react to me. My guess is they think I might be a lesbian, and they find this unsettling or irksome in some way. Then again, sometimes I still got rude looks and sexually harassed in public places when I am all femmed up, wearing makeup, heels, etc. When you’re a woman in the Patriarchy, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

“I’m not convinced there’s any kind of correlation between overt sexual attention of the so-called “positive” kind and the likelihood of being raped or assaulted.”

There’s an old cynical piece of gallows humor from those who work in sexual assault programs that says, if you try to dress down and hide your femininity all you do is attract a lower class of rapist. It’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Look good and you were asking for it, don’t and you were asking to be “corrected” for not meeting the expectation.

In some places in the ME they wrap women up from head to toe and they are still raped. Of course the actual number of rapes don’t show up on official counts, since reporting a rape is likely to get you ostracized, jailed or executed, which needless to say, discourages reporting.

Hidden in all of this is the fact that hearing about a lot of rapes is not always a bad sign, it can just mean that there is a system in place that makes it possible for women to speak out. I discovered this checking out colleges for my kid. Rape is everywhere, sometimes those places who appear to have more sexual assault really only have better awareness and stronger services for victims. So as depressing as the atrocious wording of the South African story is, somebody is speaking out and objecting because rape didn’t just start happening.

It’s insane, but having high rape statistics can mean you’re in an area where women at least have enough support to speak out. We have a police chief here who brags about how our county has almost no sexual assault and he credits himself for the low crime statistics. He’s so totally FOS.

Jezebella, I agree with you about all attention being potential rape attention. I was trying to say, though, that other than the weird stares, I seem to be invisible to men. And even the stares are a recent development. And I’m still not entirely sure what they’re even about; no one’s ever said anything to me, they just look me right in the eyes with a blank expression.

And, nails, thanks for the link. I will check it out as soon as I get up. I’m long past due for sleep.

A few months after I turned 50, this misguided woman left her Nigel with a note on the table, probably rightly figuring that if he spent 10 years not listening to a word I said, and I don’t talk much, there was nothing further to say. This incurred his wrath and the wrath of everyone who decided that leaving that way was terribly cowardly and low. What? No last-ditch talks or effort to save things? How selfish! I simply packed my bags, got on a plane and left everything behind. That was some years ago and I never looked back. It had to be the best thing I ever did. It was the most daring for sure. So, what is it about women and 50? It’s the first I’ve heard of this “misguided woman” theme. Is it long awaited escape from domestic slavery after the kids are grown?

What’s the article about how women who act “like women” (who are feminine) are technically female impersonators? You know the article I mean? Can’t remember the title.

Interestingly enough, these British/American news articles usually talk about rape or the abuse of women in OTHER countries, while posting other headlines and ads of the misogynist variety about Western female celebs and weight loss on the same web or newspaper page. Hypocrisy much?

Not hypocrisy, racism. These stories are exclusively about non-white countries and this follows the standard line. A friend of mine was recently raped and beaten to death. She was a lesbian. I can’t help but think that the two were related given the number of lesbians I know who have been raped because they are lesbians, and that is here in the U.S., in the San Francisco Bay Area which is suppose to be “progressive”, whatever that means.

“It’s the first I’ve heard of this “misguided woman” theme. Is it long awaited escape from domestic slavery after the kids are grown?”

I think so. Kids are, among other things, a huge distraction from a marriage. Once they’re grown you’re suddenly confronted with your spouse, and life, as is. Half the time couples don’t have anything to talk about anymore.

I don’t usually put much stock in hormone related arguments but I thought the comments on menopause were very interesting, too. I’ve never really thought of it but I can see how menopause (or really post-menopause)could be very liberating. I never knew that being post menopausal could make one more sexual, as the article implies. I thought it would be the opposite. Interesting.

BTW, good for you!! Obviously you made the right decision.

Not hypocrisy, racism. These stories are exclusively about non-white countries and this follows the standard line. A friend of mine was recently raped and beaten to death. She was a lesbian. I can’t help but think that the two were related given the number of lesbians I know who have been raped because they are lesbians, and that is here in the U.S., in the San Francisco Bay Area which is suppose to be “progressive”, whatever that means.

Totally, coathangrrr, I failed to mention the racism bit explicitly. And I am happy someone else sees this in the media. Simulating a “concern” for women’s rights simply to spit on brown people, in order to make Whites look oh-so-grand and perfect, is such a double blow to feminism and women’s rights.
I am really sorry to hear about what happened to your friend. That’s awful. Was there sufficient reporting of the violence in her area? And were the attackers brought to justice?

appropos of nothing, those are NOT hot pants.

there is a lot i want to respond to, but i feel i shouldn’t. i am the only straight woman i know (although i do know a couple of bi-but-mostly-straight women) – i know NOTHING about how it feels to be a lesbian.

Serene Wright: there have always been “stars” made of minorites. as someone said “the wonder isn’t how well the bear dances, but that it dances at all”. i am sure that that is a huge potion of it. please note that you are very close to trolling

Femininity is what women do to keep from being pathologized, criminalized, ostracized, jailed, raped, and butchered.

Look how well that works. There isn’t a way out. It’s patriarchy.

Cottonpants, straight men try not to look at men. That would be like totally gay, dude. Real mens only notice things they might like to rape if it weren’t for all these dumb laws and shit. That’s why men ignore you. You aren’t either making them hard or being offensively dick-wilting.

Re: men not looking at men. You would not believe the amount of kvetching I am hearing from my nerdy dude friends about the Giant! Blue! Penis! in Watchmen. FFS, dudes, it’s pretty frickin unobtrusive if you don’t look directly at his crotch.

My life feels much better since I stopped jonzin’ to have sex. For whatever reason I was able to give up that addiction after men-o-pause. Before that I overlooked far too many racist/anti-feminist/misogynist words and actions from my (what I see now as) creepy partners. I was in a full-blown addiction for 54 years to male partners. Partners that I was sure were monogamous. Not only they were NOT monogamous, most were regularly exposing themselves and me to every STD (including AIDS) known to humans. I find this out after. Years after. If I could live my life over again I would love to have had some drug that woman-geared science figured out. Something that would have dampened that uncontrollable urge and full-blown addiction to sex so I could have actually had a REAL life. It’s taken me 58 years three children and lots of therapy to have a dim vision of the new tiny buds forming of that real life beginning to emerge. I hope I have at least 58 more years to see some fruition in the novel science experiment that is me living, finally, a REAL life. A real life as much as it is possible living in the P.
P.S. I still have plenty of sexual juice. I just won’t ever be with a man who’s unworthy. Probably that means never being with one. That (surprisingly) feels fine and good. That thought would have horrified the younger me. Yippee! I’m finally free!

Claire- it’s entirely possible. My son who’s now 30, was the one who turned me onto IBP about a year and a half ago. We were im-ing the other day and he asked what I’m up to. The second thing I mentioned is the thrill of Twisty being back in her full glory on her blog. He was fully up on every post and more than enthusiastic. He thrilled his college professors with feminist thinking in his papers and in class.
He’s my only son so it’s not a big sample, but he definitely BP.

@Lara:

“Then again, sometimes I still got rude looks and sexually harassed in public places when I am all femmed up, wearing makeup, heels, etc. When you’re a woman in the Patriarchy, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”

And of course the Patriarchy ensures that femininity mandates leave women in the most physically disadvantageous situation possible, for the safety of its misogynist footsoldiers. Femininity mandates stilettos and pencil skirts to prevent running and mobility, long nails to prevent proper fist formation, long earrings to pull, body shape mandates that forbid building muscles, jeans that runners legs can’t fit into, and crash diets to keep women starving and too weak to fight.

The P essentially looks at these women, and decrees the opposite to be feminine.

After all, we can’t risk the poor perps getting their heads popped off like champagne corks when they decide to commit felonies against another person. IBTP!

@Fred
“That’s why men ignore you. You aren’t either making them hard or being offensively dick-wilting.”

Dare I say.. Mission Accomplished?

Melissa Etheridge once claimed celebrity trumps race or sexuality or any other label.

Rachael Maddow and Ellen DeGeneres are the toast of the town because people see beyond their exterior and accept their humanity. It’s all part of the illusion that you ‘know’ them or they ‘speak to you.’

The butch dyke walking down the street doesn’t get that same break. In fact, there are those who purposely go out of their way to avoid her humanity.

The Queer Eye guys were the toast of the town too. But, I could name plenty of towns in Texas where toasting them would happen after the beating was finished.

Excellent. For someone who lives in London and has this sheet of vileness thrust in his face every day on the way to work, it is wonderful to hear it denounced. Especially from a spinster aunt in Texas. Which brings me to ask, why the fuck are you reading it? You have your own crazed newspapers to read.