"Trick or treat!"
"This is Australia, we don't celebrate that."
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Your enjoyment of Halloween tends to fall somewhere on a spectrum between those two statements and in Perth Monday's celebrations were a bit of a mixed bag.
WA Police said they had "nothing of note" to report for any Halloween-related shenanigans, but there were a few people who took the spirit of the occasion into more negative territory.
Like a Perth man's handwritten note (apparently on his front door) that reads "We are Australian, Halloween is not celebrated in this house! No candy is held on these premises, sorry, not sorry."
We normally say lollies in Australia, but pedantry aside, it seems there were a few strange items turning up in people's collection buckets and bags.
One Perth mother showed off a picture of a lollipop given to her kids that definitely shouldn't have been handed out to minors, while another Perth mother posted a photo to Facebook of her children looking in wide-eyed disgust at a kiwi fruit they been given.
Health issues were a big concern for a family whose note to their neighbours was spotted by a producer for ABC 720's Mornings programme.

"Sorry kids (and parents) we aren't doing Halloween this year," the note said.
"Why? Now that science understands how insidious* sugar is, we don't feel right about handing out lollies and chocolates that might make you obese, or give you diabetes or cancer when you are older. We like you too much to do that.

"*Insidious means working slowly in a gradual way, but with very harmful effects."
Thanks for clearing that up, but unsolicited health advice aside, plenty of people across Perth had a great time.

And in the US, Stephanie Kahan was on board a flight when a note from a Halloween-loving father was passed to her along with a little treat.
OMG, my heart is exploding right now. Dad of the year just passed out candy to everyone on the flight so his 3 year old could trick or treat pic.twitter.com/vfsAcYNrhr
— Stephanie Kahan (@stephaniekahan) November 1, 2016

"My three year old daughter, Molly, was bummed that she wouldn't be able to go trick-or-treating this year due to this flight," the note said.
"So I decided to bring trick-or-treating to her. If you are willing, when my little donut comes down the aisle, please drop this in her basket. You'll be making her Halloween! If you're unwilling, no worries, just pass the treat back to me. Thanks so much!"
Molly skipped down the aisles of the plane collecting treats from passengers.
So whatever you think of Halloween or how others mark it, in the end it's for the kids.
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