- published: 31 Jul 2018
- views: 9279
Michael Hubert Kenyon (born c. 1944 in Elgin, Illinois) is an American criminal nicknamed the Enema Bandit. He pleaded guilty to a decade-long series of armed robberies of female victims, some of which involved sexual assaults in which he would give them enemas. He is also known as the "Champaign Enema Bandit," the "Ski Masked Bandit", and "The Illinois Enema Bandit".
The earliest attacks Kenyon was accused of having committed were on two teenage sisters in March of 1966 in Champaign, Illinois. Kenyon graduated from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in 1967 and left the state. The attacks thus ended in Champaign but started anew in Manhattan, Kansas; Norman, Oklahoma; and Los Angeles, California.
Kenyon returned to Champaign, and the attacks resumed, in 1972. In May 1975, Kenyon took a job as an auditor for the Illinois Department of Revenue in Lincolnwood, Illinois. He then committed additional attacks, including three Cook County flight attendants. He also attacked four women in an Urbana sorority house, one of whom was administered an enema. He was involved in a minor traffic accident later that night, but was not arrested.
The Mile High Illinois, Illinois Sky-City, or simply The Illinois is a visionary skyscraper that is over 1 mile (1,600 m) high, conceived and described by Frank Lloyd Wright in his 1956 book, A Testament. The design, intended to be built in Chicago, included 528 stories, with a gross area of 18,460,000 square feet (1,715,000 m2). Wright stated that there would have been parking for 15,000 cars and 150 helicopters.
Had it been built, it would have been the tallest building in the world by far, being more than four times the height of the then tallest building in the world, the Empire State Building, and it is nearly twice as tall as the world's current tallest building, the Burj Khalifa, the design of which is said to have been inspired by that of The Illinois.
Wright believed that it would have been technically possible to construct such a building even at the time it was proposed. At the time, the tallest skyscraper in the world was New York's Empire State Building, at less than a quarter the height suggested for the Illinois. It probably would have been possible to erect a self-supporting steel structure of the required height, but there are a number of problems which occur when a building is that tall.
Illinois (i/ˌɪlᵻˈnɔɪ/ IL-i-NOY) is a state in the midwestern region of the United States. It is the 5th most populous state and 25th largest state in terms of land area, and is often noted as a microcosm of the entire country. With Chicago in the northeast, small industrial cities and great agricultural productivity in central and northern Illinois, and natural resources like coal, timber, and petroleum in the south, Illinois has a diverse economic base and is a major transportation hub. The Port of Chicago connects the state to other global ports from the Great Lakes, via the Saint Lawrence Seaway, to the Atlantic Ocean, as well as the Great Lakes to the Mississippi River, via the Illinois River. For decades, O'Hare International Airport has been ranked as one of the world's busiest airports. Illinois has long had a reputation as a bellwether both in social and cultural terms and politics.
Although today the state's largest population center is around Chicago in the northern part of the state, the state's European population grew first in the west, with French Canadians who settled along the Mississippi River, and gave the area the name, Illinois. After the American Revolutionary War established the United States, American settlers began arriving from Kentucky in the 1810s via the Ohio River, and the population grew from south to north. In 1818, Illinois achieved statehood. After construction of the Erie Canal increased traffic and trade through the Great Lakes, Chicago was founded in the 1830s on the banks of the Chicago River, at one of the few natural harbors on southern Lake Michigan.John Deere's invention of the self-scouring steel plow turned Illinois' rich prairie into some of the world's most productive and valuable farmlands, attracting immigrant farmers from Germany and Sweden. Railroads carried immigrants to new homes, as well as being used to ship their commodity crops out to markets.
Illinois is a state in the United States.
Illinois may also refer to:
SS Illinois was an iron passenger-cargo steamship built by William Cramp & Sons in 1873. The last of a series of four Pennsylvania-class vessels, Illinois and her three sister ships—Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana—were the largest iron ships ever built in the United States at the time of their construction, and amongst the first to be fitted with compound steam engines. They were also the first ships to challenge British dominance of the transatlantic trade since the American Civil War.
Though soon outclassed by newer and larger vessels, Illinois was destined to enjoy a long and distinguished career, first as a transatlantic passenger liner and later as the U.S. Navy's auxiliary vessel USS Supply. In the 1870s, Illinois may have been the first ship to successfully transport a shipment of fresh meat from the United States to Europe, twenty years before the introduction of refrigeration. As USS Supply, the ship served in both the Spanish–American War and the First World War, and crew members may have been the first United States personnel to fire a hostile shot in the latter. Illinois was scrapped in 1928.
Provided to YouTube by Universal Music Group The Illinois Enema Bandit · Frank Zappa You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore, Vol. 6 ℗ 1992 Zappa Family Trust, Under exclusive license to Universal Music Enterprises, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc. Released on: 2012-01-01 Producer: Frank Zappa Composer Lyricist: Frank Zappa Auto-generated by YouTube.
Provided to YouTube by Universal Music Group The Illinois Enema Bandit · Frank Zappa Joe's Camouflage ℗ 2014 Zappa Family Trust, Under exclusive license to Universal Music Enterprises, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc. Released on: 2014-01-30 Producer: Frank Zappa Composer Lyricist: Frank Zappa Auto-generated by YouTube.
Provided to YouTube by Universal Music Group The Illinois Enema Bandit (Deluxe Bonus Version/Live) · Frank Zappa Zappa In New York ℗ 2019 Zappa Family Trust, Under exclusive license to Universal Music Enterprises, a Division of UMG Recordings, Inc. Released on: 1977-10-29 Producer: Frank Zappa Composer Lyricist: Frank Zappa Auto-generated by YouTube.
La vera storia di Michael Kenyon. Un mix di concerti di Zappa o della sua Band.
Don Pardo gives the intro to Frank Zappa's classic song.
Michael Hubert Kenyon (born c. 1944 in Elgin, Illinois) is an American criminal nicknamed the Enema Bandit. He pleaded guilty to a decade-long series of armed robberies of female victims, some of which involved sexual assaults in which he would give them enemas. He is also known as the "Champaign Enema Bandit," the "Ski Masked Bandit", and "The Illinois Enema Bandit".
The earliest attacks Kenyon was accused of having committed were on two teenage sisters in March of 1966 in Champaign, Illinois. Kenyon graduated from University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in 1967 and left the state. The attacks thus ended in Champaign but started anew in Manhattan, Kansas; Norman, Oklahoma; and Los Angeles, California.
Kenyon returned to Champaign, and the attacks resumed, in 1972. In May 1975, Kenyon took a job as an auditor for the Illinois Department of Revenue in Lincolnwood, Illinois. He then committed additional attacks, including three Cook County flight attendants. He also attacked four women in an Urbana sorority house, one of whom was administered an enema. He was involved in a minor traffic accident later that night, but was not arrested.
Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray White (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Eddie Jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals)
Patrick O'Hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry Bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ruth Underwood (percussion, synthesizer)
Don Pardo (vocals)
David Samuels (vibes)
Randy Brecker (trumpet)
Mike Brecker (tenor saxophone, flute)
Lou Marini (alto saxophone, flute)
Ronnie Cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet)
Tom Malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo)
John Bergamo (percussion over-dub)
Ed Mann (percussion over-dub)
Louanne Neil (osmotic harp over-dub)
And now folks it's time for Don Pardo To deliver our special Illinois Enema Bandit-type announcement Take it away, Don
"This is a true story
About a famous criminal
From right around Chicago
This is the story of Michael Kenyon
A man who's serving time at this very moment
For the crime of armed robbery
It so happened, that at the time of the robbery
Michael, decided to give his female victims
A little enema
Apparently, there was no law against that
But his name lives on
Michael Kenyon
THE ILLINOIS ENEMA BANDIT!"
The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women...
Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up
(They'd be all bound down!)
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
fulla The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
The Illinois Enema Bandit
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news
Bloomington Illinois...he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
Got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
The Illinois Enema Bandit
One day he'll have to pay
One day he'll have to pay
The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The D.A. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokes!"
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
Sayin' "Don't nobody have no sympathy...
HOT SOAP WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"
And then the bandit might say, "Why is everybody looking' at me?"
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS KINDA MISERY?
WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
Now, one girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!"
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY? TELL ME NOW, WHAT'S
YOUR PLEA?
Another girl shout: "Let the fiend go free!"
ARE YOU GUILTY? BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
The Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
"It must be just what they all needs..."
etc. repeat
Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna enema
Enema